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Our first time, her having sex with another man for the first time since we married and mine watching it couldn't have been more perfect. She was so nervous and afraid. I'll never forget the moment she looked over at me and mouthed the words "I love you" as he erotically fucked her. His eyes were closed and he was focused on her. He was being very respectful to both of us. She has never played with anyone without looking over at me to make sure I'm watching. The first time was for reassurance. Now she will put on a show for me

Hi guys, I have a (probably stupid) question I need to ask. From your experience of swinging, does vaginal tightness change after a woman has been with a thicker (girthier) guy? I'm of average size myself and I've done some googling and found mixed results. Some say that theoretically there shouldn't be any change, that it doesn't work that way. Others have anecdotal evidence of their partners having larger exes and their vaginas being looser as a result. Will being with a significantly thicker guy cause a woman's vagina to feel looser to an average sized guy thereafter? I'm sure plenty of you have experience in this regard and could answer one way or the other? I understand that a woman can do kegels and clench on your penis, but I'm talking about the default tightness I guess, without clenching. Have any of you been with women whose partners were significantly bigger than you and still found them to feel as tight as women who have not been with larger guys? Thanks so much for any replies, I'd love to be able to clear this up in my mind from people with first hand experience.

Hello everyone, first time poster long time lurker. My wife and I are a situational full swap couple. I have a question that I'm curious to get board feedback on. My wife and I are in our mid 40's and have been together for over twenty years. One thing we have come to realize since opening up our relationship is my wife enjoys being fucked hard. For us it's been twenty years of "fuck me harder". It's been so long it's just how we fuck. I find myself self conscious when we play with others. The issue is two fold. The first being I start out with the best of intensions but before I know it, I'm pounding away as I usually do. I mean to take it easy but I get lost in the sexy moment. The second issue is using condoms makes it more difficult for me cum and in an attempt to wrap things up I end up significantly picking up the pace. I've never heard a complaint but I have had playmates tap out. Which of course is no problem at all. I don't mind but I do worry they weren't enjoying the encounter as I had planned. We've had many repeat play dates with friends so I hope/assume my playmate is enjoying herself even though she sometimes has to toss in the towel. So the question is... is pounding away generally enjoyable or do I really need to slow down? Once properly warmed up would you (generally speaking) rather get nailed or slow and gently fucked?

HELP! My husband thinks it's hot to watch me have sex with other men and join in but I do not have those same feelings when it comes to him playing with women. I do not want to see it or hear it. I don't like it when he has sexual conversations with single women either. I hate the anxiety I feel when I know he's talking to someone but feel guilty for making him feel like I don't want him to have some fun too. We play together/separate rooms or same and prefer couples but that is so hard to find. If I'm busy playing with someone I don't concern myself with him..........am I crazy? I can't be the only person who feels this way....I'm tired of this Tug-of-War with him and just feel like quitting.

At this point it does not matter. Meet them for drinks & dinner & see what they are like. If they are experienced, or at least committed you should have a pleasant evening. Just be sure to talk some about sex, swinging, & having adventures. I've had some great sex & conversations with people a decade or more older that I & over 25 years junior to me. What matters is honesty, and a desire to explore & experience new things. Also unless you live near a large city expect to travel to meet quality partners. Small town US lacks the high density of active swingers to make compatible local people common. I've reconciled myself to driving 90 minutes or more for some good threesomes or couples swaps.

So, I hear your concern, you have a right to it. My suggestion? Set up a no-sex date with them, drinks or dinner. See what they're like, then make your decision.

My ex-HW sometimes enjoyed being pounded, sometimes she wanted something slower. My current GF had a pounding experience recently when we were swinging, she seemed to enjoy it at the time but the next couple of days she was rather sore and decided she didn't want to be with the man again. In all depends on the woman, and the situation. You never know . . .

Most certainly, I will not stomp on you. Well, I have been running a club for a few years, and I had very strict rules. Most important, the woman always had the first and the last word, period. Every evening there were always one or more single women, besides couples, knowing there were more men. But never had any problems with pushy males, because make a problem, out you go. I had a special day for women wanting it all, in the weekend couples only, and the rest of the week the mix of couples, single men and single women. I presume you would have liked it with me. In later years I went to clubs with my girlfriend, sometimes she wanted a one on one, sometimes couple on couple, and sometimes she wanted more songs with men. Never had a problem, but, in the clubs we visited there were strict rules. And that worked. Years after I sold the club, I met customers in clubs I recommended to them.

Almost certainly a silly question, but one that's caused us disagreement...the morning after talk? Bearing in mind we are only interested in same room swapping, how much detail is shared and questions answered given that you were in the same room?

I call it the difference between fucking and making love. She enjoys both.

Our experience has been there are three reasons why they might lay next to you. 1. It is sexy/turn on to ave sex next to another couple 2. They mabe hoping you will ask them if they would like to join in 3. They may have thought about asking you, but for some reason they didn't, like they were also new.

The OP poses and interesting dilemma that is occasionally faced during this type of activity. To be honest regarding an extraordinarily pleasurable encounter, or to consider the feelings of a spouse and diminish the encounter. To answer that question, I think you first must consider the reason you are engaged in this activity in the first place, “the pleasure it provides each of you,” should be the answer to that question. Personally, I want every encounter my wife engages in to be as pleasurable, as exciting, and as stimulating as possible. I’m also not so naïve as to believe that I know every possible activity that achieves bringing her those feelings. As much as anything when I watch her engaging with another man I look on it as a learning prosses. If I see him doing something that I haven’t done and see that she is enjoying whatever it is that he is doing, that becomes something that I may want to include in our personal love making. On the other hand, if it’s something that she’s not receptive to, that then becomes something that I will eliminate from my repertoire of techniques I engage in when I’m with her. The answer to what brought you so much pleasure during your encounter with this man will determine the answer you tell your husband. If your response was due to the technique used by this man, and if your husband can incorporate that technique with you, then that would be something that you would want to tell him. If on the other hand, if your response was due to an emotional response to this man as an individual you may want to keep that to yourself. To be honest with your husband you first must be honest with yourself. In most cases we don’t take the time to analyze what it is that brings us pleasure, we just know that whatever it was we enjoyed it. If you are with another man, and during that encounter you have an extraordinarily positive reaction to whatever he did to you, you may want to give that some thought because your husband is going to want to know why you responded as you did. It’s just a, “guy thing,” we want to know exactly what he did so that we can duplicate that technique with you to get the same reaction from you. Keep in mind that men and women think differently. Where women can communicate on a subliminal nonverbal level, men are detailed oriented and can only communicate on a verbal level. If you want him to understand anything you are going to have to tell him in detail what you want him to understand. In this case I would suggest that you come up with as many specific things that this man did to you that generated your response. If your response was totally in reacting to this man on an emotional level, I would then come up with as many things as you can think of that you would like for your husband to engage in when he’s with you, and think about curtailing your encounters with this other man. The thing to remember is that open and honest communication is the most important aspect of any relationship, and that common-sense trumps everything.

Everyone is different, and it never hurts to ask. Even if you happen to meet someone who enjoys hard sex, even then you will score extra points for asking first.

Variation of speed and intensity. Changing positions. I am not a receptacle for your pounding. As a man don’t you enjoy the changing paces of sex?

Couplers, you're right, it is fun and I do consider myself lucky. I'm also pretty patient, so we will see what happens.

Well let me start by saying me and my wife have been married 25 years also I'm 46 she's 43 . We've been faithful The whole time . Just got into the LS The jealousy is not like you would think If you have the relationship like you say . Cause if your like me . Your wife is also Your best friend .

I said the same thing, but tried to be as polite as possible. OP told me I was way off base. I'm guessing he's either in total denial and his wife is just "shopping around" while she strings him along OR it's all BS.

My experiences suggest there is wide variance in how vigorously women want to be fucked. Many prefer a “slow hand.” Some, and my wife is one, like to start off at a slow and deliberate pace but as they become more aroused desire hard and fast thrusting. Assuming you are with a new partner who is not distracted by talking a little during sex, it’s probably a good idea to check in with her from time to time to see if she’d like a change (faster/slower, deeper/shallower or harder/gentler) in the pace.

Mrs Doc likes finesse. She gets bored with mindless pounding.

Swinging has been a topic of discussion with us for a very long time. There was a few sticking points and one was him going with others. It took me a long while and plenty of conversations before I realised that either it was going to be both of us or neither of us. I wasn't prepared to do anything without him doing the same, he was fine with that, but I wasn't. After a lot of fantasy play in the bedroom we finally took the plunge and although it still worried me, I was both surprised and shocked to find that I did in fact really enjoy watching my husband with someone else. Fundamentally only do what your both happy doing, sometimes it takes time and sometimes it just doesn't happen?

Ahh, you're a cuck doormat. Gotcha. Just keep doing what you're doing then.

What I quoted is the most important. YES, revisit your rules and communication expectations. You're obviously insecure, inadequate, anxious, jealous, and/or confused about what she wants, what she's into, and what her expectations are. You need to sit down and talk to her immediately about what's going on, how you both feel about all of this, and how you'll proceed. Don't put it off, don't hold, back, don't lie (tell her what you've discovered), and don't be an asshole. Talk to her from a place of concern about your emotions, her emotions, your mutual needs, your separate needs, and basically, keep your cool. The second you raise your voice or start accusing her in any manner that she deems aggressive, she's going to shut down and turn into a bullshit artist just to get you off her back.