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Adamgunn - Thanks for your reply. Little body image conscience putting myself out there... I’m sure I’ll get over it once we dive in... After reading other like post, gotta look at the positives! At least I get rock hard, love oral, and as far as I know, no performance issues in front of others... Thanks again...

My wife and I are at the same place in our marriage! 25 years together, last child moved away, started watching the Playboy channels “Swinger House” while having crazy passionate sex in our living room, and now, we’re working out and getting in better shape preparing to leap into the LS this new year! My wife has even expressed finding a mentor to teach her how to satisfy another woman! We’ve discussed our comfort levels & boundaries, and discovered we’re fortunate enough to have a marriage with a solid foundation that’s committed to each other’s needs. That being said, we Believe we’re ready to enjoy others in and out of the bedroom!

Yeah, that. ^ It doesn't have to be fair or even either, if you know what I mean. My wife has more sex than I do because she wants and physically can. I'm hoping all the time that whatever she's doing whether I watch or not, is better than anything before.

Our experience has been there are three reasons why they might lay next to you. 1. It is sexy/turn on to ave sex next to another couple 2. They mabe hoping you will ask them if they would like to join in 3. They may have thought about asking you, but for some reason they didn't, like they were also new.

I'm inclined to agree with the others in this thread that find red flags in the situation in which you currently find yourself. While my wife an I seldom have "reclamation sex" after an event (she's usually exhausted, and we save it for the next day), the idea of such a long time passing without SOME form of re-connection seems unusual and disquieting. From what I gather, this is the first time your wife has had sex with another man, interracial or not; this is your first embarkation into sex with others. How in the world did you decide that that first foray would be on a solo trip to Africa?? Was this something you agreed on immediately? What are her feelings regarding a situation in which you do the same as she did?? Do you both have the freedom to do this, or is it a one-sided sort of thing? I have to agree with the others in that there is indeed a significant issue here. If you guys are into cuckolding and hotwifery, that's just fine, as long as you both agree. However, that doesn't seem to be the original motivation. As far as the FB ads, I'd say to her something on the order of, "Hey, I just started to get a lot of unsolicited FB ads about interracial sex (describe the ads). Have you been checking that sort of thing out??". The lifestyle must be approached with total honesty and open communication. I do have some concerns regarding STI exposure. First of all, absolutely none of this should be construed as medical advice; you should consult your physician for specific recommendations in your case as soon as practical. Consider: Your wife was on a continent where the risk of STI exposure is significant. She was provided proof of STI negative testing by her partner. However, given the state of the art of STI testing, there remains a window during which STI infection is undetectable. The duration of the window depends on individual physiology and the specific test administered. In my mind, the only value of STI testing (specifically with respect to HIV testing) that is not serially performed (every 3 months x 2, in some cases x 3) is in the information that the individual has, in fact, been tested. A negative result on such a test only says that the individual has no DETECTABLE HIV at the exact moment that the test is read. As all of us should know, seroconversion of an infected individual may occur soon after the test or at some later time. Using condoms at this point is wise of you; your physician will guide your decisions at this point if you consult him/her (and you should), but you may want to consider using condoms until 2 or more (depending upon the test) successive STI panels come back negative. Your physician will, of course, have specific recommendations. I hope things work out in a positive way for you.

Well if you call that ''all going well'' you seem to have found your calling. Good for you. If any of my gfs in the LS had told me that my new position in her life was only 'more fun out of the bedroom', I would have told her that I was happy for her and her new stud and that starting immediately she would have to look for a place to stay 'outside of what use to be our relationship'.....lol....

First off, welcome to the Swingers Board! You ask a great question, and it's a very understandable question since I think nearly everyone has felt exactly the same way you do now. I agree with your husband that going to a club just to watch is a great way to start. Keep in mind though that not all clubs are created equal, so you will want to do some reseach to find one that is well run and what kind of crowd it attracts. Even different nights of the week at the same club can have a different vibe. Saturday nights are often "couples night" and that's what I would suggest. Go to a club where the focus is on couples, and single males are either prohibited or only allowed in to a certain number and/or restricted where in the club they can go. Don't be shy to contact the club ahead of time to explain to them it will be your first visit, ask what to expect, etc. You will find out a lot by how they respond to those questions. The key to your first club visit (and the key to your 100th club visit) is to go with no expectations, none. Just plan on having a fun night out together and don't worry about anything other than that. Going with friends that are also interested in swinging...without knowing more about that friendship, I'll punt on that one, may or may not be a good idea. On the plus side, having some others there you know will likely make you feel more comfortable. On the con side, the club scene can be a very charged environment, and I'm a firm believer in you make friends out of playmates, not playmates out of friends. So, going together to such a venue may cause some strange sort of dynamic that no one is equipped to handle right now. As to the why, I can't speak for him but I can speak for me since I was the one that first brought it up when we started. I thought it would something funa and sexy to check out TOGETHER. Not that she didn't satisfy me, not that I wasn't happy, and so on, but that it might be something we would have fun with together. It was, and we have. We're not frequent swingers, but when we do, we always have a great time, together. It's turned into a compersion thing. I like seeing her happy, she likes seeing me happy, and if we can achieve both of those along with the us as a couple being happy too, then all is good

Not all experiences are good ones and yes getting carried away does happen.....and so does regretting it the next day! Some people look for newbies and just take advantage.

I said the same thing, but tried to be as polite as possible. OP told me I was way off base. I'm guessing he's either in total denial and his wife is just "shopping around" while she strings him along OR it's all BS.

We think either OP is a fool or cuck who is going to end up alone soon, or is getting off on stringing other users along with a giant line of BS. More likey the latter.

LOl so what other things has she done to make you understand that her new BF is not only better then you but she does not care? lol i think your a cuck and you like it. that's great for you - but do not lead us down the garden path. Like your wife and her new lover are doing to you. with your full knowledge.

:redflag: This is NOT a good idea. If you both feel you must keep doing this, it should be one night only and not extended time without you. I can't tell you how dangerous the path you are on is. Turn back now.

Every man is different....If anything close to this had happened with any of my GFs when I was in the LS, I would have raised hell, asked for immediate no contact and insisted on working on our relationship. You took a huge risk by allowing that one sided sexual excursion. It sounds more like what husbands involved into hotwifing or cuckolding do. You are being way too forgiving and allowing her to develop her feelings for him while you're being completely ignored. If that's your thing, good for you. If not, put your your foot down, ask to read all the communications before she deletes the posts…..you will probably read hurtful stuff…. insist on NC and reclaim your wife and your position in your marriage. Good luck. Looks like you will need it!

The best time to reconnect is RIGHT NOW! Make the time, call in sick, miss a party, this is and always should be WAY MORE IMPORTANT than ANYTHING else. Reconnect using a condom if it makes her feel better. Her not wanting to reconnect even if you do wear a condom is just another red flag. The longer it takes to reconnect, the greater any potential damage is done. Do some research on 'cuckold'. It could be that he has told her not to have sex with you, only him now. You need to take back what is yours from him. The longer the delay, the more we are concerned about your relationship being damaged. Don't put this off any longer!

For us what you’re talking about in this post isn’t swinging, it might not be cheating being you knew about it, and if it doesn’t qualify as an affair it damn sure borders on one. You can’t spend a week alone with another person, have continual sexual relations with that person, and spend a considerable amount of time with them without at the least some kind of emotional connection and involvement. In our relationship for either of us to spend a week with a stranger isn’t something that would happen. There are so many ways that can go wrong, not the least of which would be her safety. Taking somebody to bed for a romp during a party or something before coming back to me is one thing, spending a week with them is something all together different. What concerns me the most about the OP is the fact that after your wife spent a week with another man, there hasn’t been any reconnection sex. My wife and I engage in that as soon as we can after any encounter she has with another man. It’s inconceivable to me that if there was no emotional involvement on her part that she wouldn’t insist on reconnecting sexually with you immediately. For me that would be a big warning sign. As for me if that would have been my wife, I don’t care what else I have on my schedule, we’re going to have sex on the first night she gets home and she’s going to tell me all about her week, in detail. To me you both seem to be far too cavalier about this. The only answer I can come up with for that is that one or both of you aren’t treating this with the urgency that you should be. If you don’t have a problem with her having an affair that’s your business, but if you want to maintain a relationship with this woman you need to be more involved in her activities. The other thing you mentioned in the OP is that they burned through, “almost thirty condoms.” Now it’s true I don’t know how many almost is, I do know that thirty would mean she would have had to have gone through more than four condoms a day for the whole week. I’ve known some horn dogs in my day and I don’t think there’s a man that’s walked the face of the earth that is capable of sex four or five times a day for seven days straight with the same woman. Now that leaves you with two possibilities, either this man has the libido of a Greek God, in which case you’re not going to compete with this dude. Or your lady was having group sex all week and she was supplying the condoms. In either case you two need to talk before it’s too late.

What I quoted is the most important. YES, revisit your rules and communication expectations. You're obviously insecure, inadequate, anxious, jealous, and/or confused about what she wants, what she's into, and what her expectations are. You need to sit down and talk to her immediately about what's going on, how you both feel about all of this, and how you'll proceed. Don't put it off, don't hold, back, don't lie (tell her what you've discovered), and don't be an asshole. Talk to her from a place of concern about your emotions, her emotions, your mutual needs, your separate needs, and basically, keep your cool. The second you raise your voice or start accusing her in any manner that she deems aggressive, she's going to shut down and turn into a bullshit artist just to get you off her back.

Our first time was horrible too. I think talking about it after and learning from it helped. It really required us to be able to laugh at our ignorance. Reading your story, as soon as you started kissing, I knew where it was going to go. This was seen as a green light for the other couple I'd bet. Once things get rolling, as you found, it's difficult to stop.

Never move fastest than the slowest person is comfortable with.

The information provided in your story is not sufficient to allow a judgement as to whether or not you are cut out for the lifestyle. But I read enough into the story to make me feel confident to lend the following advice: any initial meeting should be at a neutral location such as a coffee shop or restaurant. In that way, nobody will feel free to take liberties. And there will be time to talk things over before a second meeting is proposed or a follow-up invitation is accepted. Most of the mistakes my wife and I made when new to the lifestyle came from being over-eager. I hope this helps.

I dated a woman who wanted to watch me have sex with another man. I couldn't go that far but I let her use vibrators and dildos in my ass. She masturbated herself to orgasms pretending she was a man fucking my ass.

You would have loved watching those guys. I went to a "Dicks only" party once. 10 , masculine bi Guys who knew each other well...sucking, jerking and rough sex. It was HOT. Lots of cum, grunting, etc...First time I've ever had an 8 inch cock in my mouth...really tested my gag reflex. I'd love to go to one again.

This is the female half and I say it would be so hot to watch my man do that. I just do not see that happening anytime soon. I will be there for him when he does. We were just on a trip and while at one party there was a large group of gay/bi men playing and that was hot as hell. I could have stayed and watched all night... but I needed some attention for myself.

I have enjoyed everything we have done up to now and this is one of my favorite desires. I'd love to be there helping out, up close getting to watch and play. These are things we cannot do without another male so it only makes sense to add one...

My ex-wife use to really get off watching me suck another guys dick but would have ran out of the room had he and I gone any farther. I've often wanted to fuck another guy while his wife or mine watched but not so sure I'd allow anyone to fuck me. My current wife, while still holding out from the swinging scene, has said she'd get off watching me blow another guy but it has yet to happen.

We are both bi and it's a huge turn-on for me to see him suck a dick or get taken from behind. He was bi before I met him and I think it's great that he can be himself.

I was there to see hubby's first bi experience last year and it was such a HUGE turn-on. So when he is ready to fuck ass or be fucked, I would love to see that. Though it's more his fantasy rather than mine, from the time I witnessed his bi experience, I am not adverse to seeing him take it a step further if he chooses to do so. :-)

When Mr. Mimi and I met, I wasn't at all interested in male bi play. However, a post on this sight regarding male play got me so turned on that we have now added that, with the blessing of the Mr., to our repertoire. I have seen him get his cock sucked while I was riding our play partner and I almost rode that poor man in to the ground, I was so turned on. Next, I can't wait to see the Mr. suck cock. So excited that, because of this board, we are able to explore this fantasy together.

Yummy. I love watching gay porn, makes me SO wet. My husband has sucked and been sucked. He isn't bi at all - just open minded about what feels good. Lately he's been talking a lot about wanting to get fucked in the ass by a real cock (and not just me with a strap-on LOL). I hope we can make this fantasy of his come true!! MY fantasy is for him to fuck me while he's getting fucked in the ass. Talk about orgasm!!!! Lol

Most people know what turns them on, what they like to see, and what they don't like to watch. However, I think it is always changing and evolving...just like ourselves. We grow, we learn, we explore, we expand our minds and are open to new and different experiences that we would have found distasteful years ago. For myself, I don't particularly find two guys getting it on to be a turn-on but I will enjoy it for the fact that they are giving and receiving pleasure from one another and that is a pleasant thing. If Mr. Sun were to ever want to explore being bi-curious (long-shot at the moment), I would whole-heartedly welcome it because I want him to know that I'm accepting of his sexual exploration and the pleasure he may find. In the end, why would I want to deny him something that could make him happy?

It turns me on to see two guys fucking on video, but I've never seen it in real life. I've also never inserted Pet into that fantasy because I know it's something he would never do. Now, if he ever fulfilled my fantasy of seeing him suck a dick... then my new fantasy might be to see him fucking another guy.

Brian and I are both bi. I love to watch him with another man either as he is being fucked or when he is fucking the guy himself. It is a huge turn-on for me I must admit.