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I’m typing this from my phone sure sure be jacked up lol.. We got to the bar early 730ish yeah I know we’re the blue haired ones!! Just wanted to see the place get a feel for it.. it’s one of the oldest bars where we live also no smoking so that’s a plus for us.. Slow at first maybe 15 people there we grabbed couple drinks found a corner started people watching wife pointing out she thought I would like etc.. The bar owner stopped by asked if we were new here then asked us if we would like a tour he made sure to say “you know what kind of bar this is “ sure our faces turned red from being embarrassed lol.. It’s a two story building we came back down to the first floor sitting at the bar and noticed a group maybe 6 or 8 couples and we where asked to join them age ranged from 10 or so years younger than us to a couple years older.. We dressed up wife wore tight fitting blue satin dress with black boots she looked hot I was already horny before we left the house!! I wore a dress pants and button up shirt we were mostly likely the best dressed and I can honestly say we got the most attention wife asked multiple times about needing another drink etc.. we settled in with the group it’s down to like 3 couples now most of our conversation was about us and what made us come to a LS bar etc talked about the LS that no one would touch the wife etc what we preferred MFM, watching etc.. Told numerous times that we were good looking couple really embarrassed us, we’ve never looked at our selves like that it eased our anticipation about how we would be viewed by others.. wife left to use the restroom several of the guys told me how attractive my wife was told me not to worry that nobody going to mess with her etc we are a close knit group all watch out for each other’s significant other.. Night progressed one of husbands told his wife let (me) see your nipples so she whipped one out and said touch it.. Never touched another woman’s breasts before beside my wife’s looked over at my wife and she notted her head giving me the go ahead!! Before I know it wife said I can’t compeat with those nipples will that opened the door all the guys and ladies said well let’s us make that decession wife looked at me and I said flop them out LOL she kinda fumbled around then the dress top the it came down in all their glory!! I was super proud of her!! also felt my pants risings!! She put her hand under them and said I need Vicky’s (vistories secert) help I can get, comments started flying how gurgoures her breasts were, ive always told her yours are perfectly shaped their a b size and don’t sag any I guess all the pushups she does helps them stay perky.. I know this may not sound like much it’s a huge step for us!! We small talked for the next half hour so and around 11:00 and decided to head home sure the kids wondering what we was doing For that long LOL.. we headed to the car all giddy couldn’t wait talk to each other about the night out plus I was wanting in her panties so bad ending up rubbing her satin covered pussy all the home working her into a frenzy night ended with some great sex for us!! If that’s all we ever get out of this I totally fine with it but if we decide to go further with it I can see a lot of fun coming our way!! Thanks for all the responses sorry for the posting from the phone.. Added a pic of the wife love showing her off

NWlovin’ ... I see that you are very new to this BBS... Welcome! You are for sure in the right place if you want to expand your knowledge of the "Lifestyle" (LS). I do not think you are "crazy" for wanting to fulfill some of your fantasies, especially with your husband being on-board, and a fully cooperative participant. Maintaining full, open, and honest communication with your partner is paramount in the LS. Trust is a big deal too, all the way around. You sound pretty patient... describing setting up a situation in the course of a year or so. Patience is a good thing, especially in the LS. HOWEVER... The situation you are mostly describing sounds like a colossal train-wreck waiting to happen. Pulling a married guy into your bedroom for play-time activities without the knowledge, consent, or support of his wife... especially since he is part of a larger circle of your friends... has disaster written all over it. I am hard-pressed to imagine a bigger violation of trust, and a breakdown in communication (especially concerning his wife).... No one in their right mind, especially on this BBS, will ever advise you to pursue such a course of action. Keep in mind that this is a "Team Sport"... mostly with you and your partner, but also including all the guest "Teams" you play with. Anytime a player is excluded, the opportunity for trouble and excessive drama looms large. So... "What do I think?" I think you would be wise to spend a bit of time on this BBS. You do not seem to be in a real big hurry, and a few months spent grazing the forums here (especially together with your partner) could be fun, as well as informative. Pay attention to who is making posts that resonate with you. There is a wealth of knowledge, experience, and wisdom here. Take advantage of that. Continue to post questions... make comments. And there is always the option of connecting with folks here via a "PM" (private message) through their "SB" profile. For me it is more about the journey, than the destination... and I suspect most folks here would agree with that. Enjoy the journey. Let us know how it works out. Be Well... Have Fun! ;-)

I would not do it with a friend, especially with your husband's attitude about this particular man. You're talking about the 'long game.' It's likely that feelings will develop, that his wife will find out and raise a shit-storm, that your husband would develop hurt feelings. In the end almost the best you can hope for is that you will have regrets, the worst would be the breakup of one or both marriages. I understand you live in a rather small area. If you can't find 'safe' swinger couples, save it until you can get out to town. Good luck!

You know, most of our swinging episodes were with friends and it never became an issue after the fact. But then, they were all experienced too so we all knew what we were doing. Them being friends first, did make the experience more enjoyable and relaxed for all four of us. We met one single man through a meet and greet. He had a girlfriend who was often his partner with couples. We had one experience with him and his girlfriend and it was good. The next time we had planned on seeing him, his girlfriend had moved away. I know that he was hoping that we'd invite him by himself and, looking back, I certainly wish we had. I know that my wife liked, and enjoyed, him and I really liked him too. So, what I'm thinking, you might look for a couple who swings together and separately. This way you both could find out how you feel seeing your spouse with someone else. And, if it goes well, then ask the husband if he'd do a threesome with you and your husband. If that also goes well, then you might be ready to consider this friend of yours that you really want to be with.

Although I'm not "super active", I have been in the group sex scene for 10+ years. The "first time" (oh... those first times are eye openers) was a 3p (MFM) and my girlfriend at that time kind of pushed me into it. Before that "first experience" I was a super jealous guy. Anyways... she was a "girlfriend" but the relationship was on the lighter side and mainly sex so I agreed to try MFM (she had previously done swinging a few times with a former BF). As you can imagine, the "first time" was pretty awkward for me and I guess I was enjoying it... I mean, I was hard and all. Finally I was fucking her missionary style, deep... with her legs pushed back to her tits and she was sucking the other guy, her head to the side. The other guy reached his "over the top moment" pulled out and came on her face. 3 or 4 squirts of thick white cum... covering her face pretty good. I don't know what it was... but at that moment my whole "outlook" on sex changed. I changed from a vanilla, jealous guy to a guy who started to really enjoy and find kinky sex so much fun! I'm thrusting into her looking at her with cum on her face and I'm getting so damn hard! She's opening her mouth and the cum in dripping into her mouth now... yes... I couldn't control myself... I came inside her like I never came before. Its been over a decade since that first time and of course I love LOTS of kinky types of play but Fucking a woman with cum on her face is definitely one of those hot things. Anybody else into this kink?

It's my favourite!

I don't count, it can be impossible to keep track at gangbangs and greedy girl nights anyway. Before I was 18 and starting swinging regularly I'd had sex with 16 guys and 2 girls. After 13 years of swinging attending parties, meeting couples online, shagging friends and their friends, and the occasional gangbang... God knows. Say 40-50 men and 10-20 women a year, so average 60 py. 13 years, plus those before... Shit that would be around 800! I'm not totally sure about that it's probably a bit less. I'm sure it's over 500. Christ I hadn't tried to work this out for years this is actually a small surprise. I definitely feel like a slut now!

If I already know them then I'll always go bareback. Otherwise I'll only go unprotected if I'm confident they're trustworthy. For example I'd make a single 18 year old "wanna fuck anything" type guy use a condom, but a well presented, polite, married man with his wife who probably has a family I'd be a lot more trusting of, and would probably go bareback with if he wanted to.

1) no idea 2) maybe 1/3 of the time 3) I know of some let downs yes, but also some surprises where I've suggested it and the guys we're not expecting it. In my experiences with sessions involving multiple men, in all cases they take it in turns, or one finishes and another moves in, sometimes changing holes. In 90% of cases I get spit roasted. A third of the time there's DP. On rare occasions I've been airtight.

You can also break into two threesomes, one MFM, one FMF. Then start rotating out who is the single M or F. Should be fun.

The trials and tribulations of the early days of the LS. I will refer you to two words that are at the core of successful couples swinging. TRUST AND COMMUNICATION. If I remember correctly, both of you are in the very early days of experiencing the LS. This is actually very common, and most couples, us included, went through some version of what you are experiencing. It doesn't sound like your husband is intentionally hiding anything, and most likely it doesn't mean near as much to him as it does you. And please don't try to trap him into a lie. Just come out and tell him that you noticed he was still chatting with her (in a non-judgmental way) and explain that you thought as a couple you had decided not to play with them. You are fairly new to the LS and it sounds like you have had fun to this point, no need letting something like this become a huge roadblock for you. I also believe that if you stay in the LS, in 6 months something like this would be a complete non-issue for you. By that time, hopefully, you will have built the trust to the point that you are confident he would never leave you for someone else and your communication will be to the point that either 1) he will know that you would rather he not talk to her or 2) he is upfront and just tells you about his communication with her out of a matter of routine.

For the typical man, speaking intimate details about life is giving away information that another man could, prospectively, hold up later for the purpose of gaining an advantage. Consequently, it happens infrequently and only with very close and trusted friends.

A week in Africa for the first time sex? I don't believe the story at all.

I could not begin to estimate.

We've never had an issue with new couples. We were new ourselves once and were quite surprised by what we saw going on at our first club. We were also so turned on that we locked ourselves in a room and boinked like newlyweds….twice. The next time we went to a different club that had stick-on name tags, red border for 1st timer/blue for returners. Several couples approached us and were very open and friendly even though we both had that "deer in the headlight" look. One couple, a few years older than us kind of adopted us and made it a point to seek us out each time we were at the club and always asked how we were progressing and were open to questions. Eventually, they invited us to a group room with them and another couple. We weren't ready to swap but we were ready to get naked in a group. We stayed to one side of the big bed, we watched, played with each other, and eventually did a bit of touching with the two couples while they boinked and swapped. It was the most erotic thing we had ever seen/done. After that night, we were hooked. Next time we soft swapped with that couple and it was wonderful. We eventually met another couple with whom we got comfortable enough to finally swap in the same room. We're STILL friends. The point is that for most couples, this hobby is a progression. We understand that as do many of our friends and we (and they) don't mind investing a little time and consideration in helping new couples find their way. Our advice…go to some on premises clubs, be friendly and approach people (" hi, this is our 1st time here, do you mind our asking…..?"). As a conversation progresses be up front about what you'd like to do/see. You'll be pleasantly surprised at how many nice and genuinely interested and kind couples you'll meet who also want to have sex with you. Remember too, this is YOUR journey, go at YOUR speed. You owe no one anything except honesty. Let us know how you are progressing.

I'm in a poly family and we have a lot of good sex, but my number of different partners is low - five guys and six women (I got into girls once I became comfortable with hubby playing). I now live with two of the guys and two of the women, and we girls share one outside boyfriend as well. So although I haven't had many different partners, we've swapped around among the same group a bit.

Our theory is "its just sex". One or the other of us has, on occasion, had a much better time in a swap or 3-some situation than the other. After a few experiences where feelings got a bit hurt we decided to simply accept that not everything is even or fair all the time. We take what pleasure we find but in those instances where its not quite even, we take more pleasure in knowing our partner is having a blast. Then we go home, take a shower or dip in the pool, critique the evening (or afternoon) and go to sleep. After all, it really IS just sex.

I'm surprised that nobody has brought this up yet... Sometimes a man's eyes will tell his brain 'look what I'm seeing, can you believe it?' and the brain will say 'why no, I don't believe it. Especially since my wife is here and what I'm seeing is NOT ALLOWED!'. Then, quite possibly for his first time, his 'little buddy' is asleep when he should be paying attention. He overlooks this issue the first time, but when it happens for the second time...all that advertising for little pills comes back to mind and he has now caught ED (dun, dun, dunnnnn). It can really mess with a man's mind and once he starting worrying about it, it usually will just become worse. Fortunately, thanks to several multi-billion dollar advertising campaigns (that usually helped cause the problem in the first place) there's a pill for this. An expensive, usually hard to ask your doctor for pill (but doctors are used to being asked). It's not your fault. It just happens. You need to let it go since you apologized for it. Learn from it and just make sure that it doesn't happen again. If he doesn't already know that he is your world (and you his) and you don't remind each other on a regular basis, you have much bigger issues. Talk to him and I'm sure it will be just fine.

I am going to take a bit of a different track here...yes, he needed your "help". However, "Total Neglect" isn't what happened here...you were enjoying your experience with the other hubby and he could have made his own frustrating experience with the other wife enjoyable as well. Even though we (as couples) swing together, we (as individuals) are each responsible for our own fun - and especially during a full swap (same or separate rooms). To be honest, I've been in this same situation in a previous relationship. It got to the point I didn't want to swing because I was too concerned for his fun and I wasn't having any trying to read his cues, subtle signs, and resurrect his erection. It's completely distracting to have to keep glancing over to see that your partner is having a good time - or worse, stopping your fun to go lend a hand. If he needed some assistance, he should have asked for it...or let you know in some way. You are not a mind reader! I would surmise that your husband is feeling neglected but also frustrated, confused, betrayed (by his cock) and a plethora of other feeling unrelated to you or your response. But outside of safety, he alone is responsible for his own good time. There's plenty of ways to have fun even with a limp cock. You also mentioned that you usually swap together, assuming you full swap, same bed? This time you stepped outside your comfort zone and opted for the full swap in further proximity. How did you come to that decision? Have you considered separate room play? Sometimes moving into separate rooms allows us freedoms to explore more authentically. If this is a pattern it's probably going to be an ongoing issue unless he can discern what makes his member lukewarm on the idea. Don't beat yourself up over this. You've apologized to your husband, now let it go. Later you two should talk about how to manage this issue in the future.

Now I don't know your husband but, if it were me, I'd read your post here and understand. Hey, we men know how something new, sexually, can affect your better judgement in the heat of the moment! Just keep reassuring him and let time heal. It sounds like you have a good marriage and good marriages survive all.