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If a person is unprepared to deal with questions of sexuality by age 13, he has not been prepared for life. Too many parents avoid any discussions about sexuality. As a result, by age 13, many of our offspring are ill-prepared to cope. Not long ago, in a discussion with one of my adult sons, I thanked him for never causing any trouble as he was growing up. He said he and his brother's greatest fear was that they'd disappoint [his late mother and me] by making a stupid decision. Some years ago, here in Oklahoma, a first-year teacher, age 22, found herself involved in a love affair with a 17 year old student. As she was taken away at the end of her trial to begin her prison sentence, the young man shouted after her, "I'll wait for you!" He did. After her release, the court tried to forbid their seeing each other. They married instead. I believe that a child, comfortable with sexuality at home, will make better decisions than one who is "innocent." Our goal as parents should be to ascertain that they are so prepared.

I was speaking to my brother over Xmas about relationships and sex, mainly as my niece is now 13 and showing strong signs of sexual interest in boys. This lead to discussions on ages of consent and at what ages what should be allowed. He wants her to be 18 but accepts this won't happen. And we both considered we were 13 and 15 when we lost our virginities and consider this to be fine. What are others thoughts on the age of consent? What do think is the ideal age for first sex? Does it make a difference what it is and who it's with (e.g. heavy petting, kissing, oral sex, penetration, and with someone close in age or doesn't it matter?). It appears different countries have different laws on this. Ages range from 13 to marriage. Some have close in age exceptions. Please let me know your thoughts. I'll put a poll up to. Post when you lost your virginity if you wish. Parents what are your expectations on your children? Thanks.

We decided to check out a hotel party near us last Saturday. It was a new group, so we didn't really know what to expect. I'll tell you what we didn't expect, though... We're standing in line at the bar right after we arrive. The host comes over and introduces himself. "Hey. I'm so-and-so. I'm the host." Then, from behind me my wife says, "Oh, this is awkward." Awkward? He's confused. I'm confused. Until... I turn around to see her standing right in front of her boss. Well, we're all adults. We're all there for the same thing. So we acknowledged the awkwardness, exchanged brief small talk, then all went about enjoying the party. Separately. Some bridges you don't cross. The first time in 10 years of swinging that we've ever run into someone we know in vanilla life. Frankly, I can't believe it didn't happen sooner. So, I guess it does actually happen.

Good day, I'd like to ask a question about ladies wearing anklets. I intend to buy my girlfriend some pretty jewelry to decorate her foot, and she is very enthusiastic about the idea. She would love to be wearing this kind of ornament, but simultaneously she is considering a few troubles. She read some articles about the topic and it turned out that anklets shows a hidden meaning about a wearer. It is supposed to be favored by hotwives and lesbians, who are willing to have an accidental sex and therefore want to attract potential partners. Some say for example, that a lesbian needs to put an anklet on her right foot. So that is where appears my question to people, who are familiar with the subject. How does a woman need to choose ornaments on a chain to be avoided of receiving any strange propositions? Are there any gems, signs, symbols put on an anklet that can guarantee not to be qualified as hotwife or a lesbian? Thanks in advance for an answer.

You'll forgive us OP, but for some reason, "a black guy came inside my wife without my permission and we're supposed to be very upset but I promise I'm totally not getting off on it" is a running theme with new posters. Her literally flying to Africa for it is the icing on the cuckold fan-fiction cake. Sorry if it really happened, but I've seen a half dozen variations on this story and they never quite add up, the skeptical response is fair.

We had an awkward moment at a new nudist resort we wanted to try. We ran into our insurance agent and his wife and her female lover. Wife and I had no idea they were nudists, she was bi and both swingers. We all four turned red, clumsy about what to say, and then his wife's female lover started laughing and said well, now that the awkard moment is over, introduce me. For some reason, we all just suddenly relaxed, started laughing, talking, and had a good time.

Darling don't worry about it, there are swingers of all shapes sizes and ages, there is someone for everyone and most are very accepting of anyone. And in my experience there are many men, perhaps even the majority, that actually want and prefer curves on a woman and some padding. Just relax, be confident, and enjoy yourself, this is the most important thing. Don't waste energy on what you think others might be thinking, especially as you're probably wrong. If it gives you any extra confidence my weight fluctuates and my waist measurement can range from a size 14 to 20 (UK). My hips are between 46-49". I always have a tummy and sometimes a belly. I have never once had any problems, been turned down, or been disappointed. Often guys are lining up for me and I'm always getting compliments on my arse. But I'm not a small girl, at all. Also, one of my friends frequently swings, she's very big, size 28 I think. She doesn't have problems, she's not for everyone but she's never been left disappointed either. Lastly I've seen and been with pregnant girls on occasion at a party and once or twice in a club, and they usually have a queue of men behind them going out the door and down the street! And loads of swinging women have had kids, sometimes lots of then, it's fine! Have confidence, and have fun!

Hello mncurious, I read posts on this board now & then, but am not in the lifestyle. I think your thread may be a creative writing project designed to suck all the kind folks here into a lot of dialog. But on the slim chance this is real, I suggest you read what I might call "The Saga of Loki and Sif". It is more than 460 posts so it will take at least a month to read it, but as you are not having sex with your soon to be ex-wife, you may have the time. Search on this board for "Emotional & logistical problems of an open marriage", by poster CallMeLoki . In particular, look at their written agreement, which is sort of the Magna Carta of extramarital exploration. If you can't read the whole thing, read the last 60 posts or so to find out how well that worked out for them. Wishing you a happy new year, sir.

AdamGunn, husband wants to say that he appreciates your understanding about his feelings on this scenario. We are not looking to break up his marriage or ours either. Part of our “long game” is to get to know the second man better, including his situation at home, as well as giving Husband time to come to grips with the stigmas that his upbringing has ingrained in him. He loves the idea of the MMF, but needs to learn how to let go of the guilt and shame he was taught to feel. As for man #2, he travels constantly for work, so he and the Mrs. may have an understanding, but maybe they don’t. These are things we need to know before we would proceed with this man. As for me developing feelings for him, we have known him as an acquaintance for over 10 years, and after a year of me fantasizing about him, I have not had even a tickle of anything but sexual desire for him. I’m perfectly happy at home, Hubs is my best friend and will be the whole of my heart and soul for life. I’ve been with him since I was a girl & I’ve got wrinkles and silver hairs now!? I do respect your thoughts on this and appreciate your support in wanting us to find a safe path on this journey. Thank you.

Vi, Thank you for your advice. I’m glad to hear that your adventures with friends has worked well for you. In reading the posts, they seem to run about 50/50. I am thinking of this particular man because he is familiar to us and because I believe he would be discreet, respect us and our marriage, and because he lives far away and is constantly traveling for work, would only be around a few times a year. A FWB that I get to play with hubby & him once in a while. My husband, at this time, has no interest in being with another woman. We had a FFM many years ago, so we have traveled this road before. I’m not sure, at this time, that I could watch him with another woman and we have no desire to go our seperate ways in this adventure. He loves the idea of seeing me handle himself and another man. I know that there may come a day when he changes his mind and wants to do a couples swap or an FFM, as nothing is set in stone, and through communication we will figure that out. I may be into it at that point too. I have asked him, in our current scenario, if he could handle an MMF knowing that I may never be comfortable with another woman, and at this point he has accepted this. If/when he changes his mind, we will talk and we will figure it out. Our #1 priority is honoring ourselves and our marriage. After all,we are walking this path together until the last page of our story is turned.

Really great that you took a big step forward and that your wife was so game. Congratulations!

Glad to hear that it was a great experience for you both! Big step visiting a SL club for the first time, at least we think so... Can’t wait for our first experience... I imagine there’ll be another visit coming in your near future, lol... Wife looked amazing by the way! Thanks for the update.

I’m typing this from my phone sure sure be jacked up lol.. We got to the bar early 730ish yeah I know we’re the blue haired ones!! Just wanted to see the place get a feel for it.. it’s one of the oldest bars where we live also no smoking so that’s a plus for us.. Slow at first maybe 15 people there we grabbed couple drinks found a corner started people watching wife pointing out she thought I would like etc.. The bar owner stopped by asked if we were new here then asked us if we would like a tour he made sure to say “you know what kind of bar this is “ sure our faces turned red from being embarrassed lol.. It’s a two story building we came back down to the first floor sitting at the bar and noticed a group maybe 6 or 8 couples and we where asked to join them age ranged from 10 or so years younger than us to a couple years older.. We dressed up wife wore tight fitting blue satin dress with black boots she looked hot I was already horny before we left the house!! I wore a dress pants and button up shirt we were mostly likely the best dressed and I can honestly say we got the most attention wife asked multiple times about needing another drink etc.. we settled in with the group it’s down to like 3 couples now most of our conversation was about us and what made us come to a LS bar etc talked about the LS that no one would touch the wife etc what we preferred MFM, watching etc.. Told numerous times that we were good looking couple really embarrassed us, we’ve never looked at our selves like that it eased our anticipation about how we would be viewed by others.. wife left to use the restroom several of the guys told me how attractive my wife was told me not to worry that nobody going to mess with her etc we are a close knit group all watch out for each other’s significant other.. Night progressed one of husbands told his wife let (me) see your nipples so she whipped one out and said touch it.. Never touched another woman’s breasts before beside my wife’s looked over at my wife and she notted her head giving me the go ahead!! Before I know it wife said I can’t compeat with those nipples will that opened the door all the guys and ladies said well let’s us make that decession wife looked at me and I said flop them out LOL she kinda fumbled around then the dress top the it came down in all their glory!! I was super proud of her!! also felt my pants risings!! She put her hand under them and said I need Vicky’s (vistories secert) help I can get, comments started flying how gurgoures her breasts were, ive always told her yours are perfectly shaped their a b size and don’t sag any I guess all the pushups she does helps them stay perky.. I know this may not sound like much it’s a huge step for us!! We small talked for the next half hour so and around 11:00 and decided to head home sure the kids wondering what we was doing For that long LOL.. we headed to the car all giddy couldn’t wait talk to each other about the night out plus I was wanting in her panties so bad ending up rubbing her satin covered pussy all the home working her into a frenzy night ended with some great sex for us!! If that’s all we ever get out of this I totally fine with it but if we decide to go further with it I can see a lot of fun coming our way!! Thanks for all the responses sorry for the posting from the phone.. Added a pic of the wife love showing her off

I would not do it with a friend, especially with your husband's attitude about this particular man. You're talking about the 'long game.' It's likely that feelings will develop, that his wife will find out and raise a shit-storm, that your husband would develop hurt feelings. In the end almost the best you can hope for is that you will have regrets, the worst would be the breakup of one or both marriages. I understand you live in a rather small area. If you can't find 'safe' swinger couples, save it until you can get out to town. Good luck!

OK, compared to most of your responses, this may seem tame. But the one thing that we did when we were involved with swinging that we really never did before was to talk about sex. I mean, really discuss it seriously and openly. We were finally able to say what we really enjoyed and what we could take or leave. It improved our own sex greatly. And I'll admit that, as much as I loved that young gal I fell in love with and married, I found a woman that I thought was the simply hot as hell!

I had some fear it would be disappointing or disastrous if we did have sex, fortunately it was great. One of the reasons I've not tried to turn this into a regular sex thing is keeping it special for us. Both of us being very bi has made for some interesting conversations.

GMO, good advice. However, my ex-HW and I never had any troubles talking about our past lovers before we got into it, it was a sexy way to get us primed, and we learned more about each other, our likes and desires. Eventually, that kind of talk got us into the lifestyle. I think everyone should celebrate their past (and current) lovers.

Our first time, her having sex with another man for the first time since we married and mine watching it couldn't have been more perfect. She was so nervous and afraid. I'll never forget the moment she looked over at me and mouthed the words "I love you" as he erotically fucked her. His eyes were closed and he was focused on her. He was being very respectful to both of us. She has never played with anyone without looking over at me to make sure I'm watching. The first time was for reassurance. Now she will put on a show for me

I'm inclined to agree with the others in this thread that find red flags in the situation in which you currently find yourself. While my wife an I seldom have "reclamation sex" after an event (she's usually exhausted, and we save it for the next day), the idea of such a long time passing without SOME form of re-connection seems unusual and disquieting. From what I gather, this is the first time your wife has had sex with another man, interracial or not; this is your first embarkation into sex with others. How in the world did you decide that that first foray would be on a solo trip to Africa?? Was this something you agreed on immediately? What are her feelings regarding a situation in which you do the same as she did?? Do you both have the freedom to do this, or is it a one-sided sort of thing? I have to agree with the others in that there is indeed a significant issue here. If you guys are into cuckolding and hotwifery, that's just fine, as long as you both agree. However, that doesn't seem to be the original motivation. As far as the FB ads, I'd say to her something on the order of, "Hey, I just started to get a lot of unsolicited FB ads about interracial sex (describe the ads). Have you been checking that sort of thing out??". The lifestyle must be approached with total honesty and open communication. I do have some concerns regarding STI exposure. First of all, absolutely none of this should be construed as medical advice; you should consult your physician for specific recommendations in your case as soon as practical. Consider: Your wife was on a continent where the risk of STI exposure is significant. She was provided proof of STI negative testing by her partner. However, given the state of the art of STI testing, there remains a window during which STI infection is undetectable. The duration of the window depends on individual physiology and the specific test administered. In my mind, the only value of STI testing (specifically with respect to HIV testing) that is not serially performed (every 3 months x 2, in some cases x 3) is in the information that the individual has, in fact, been tested. A negative result on such a test only says that the individual has no DETECTABLE HIV at the exact moment that the test is read. As all of us should know, seroconversion of an infected individual may occur soon after the test or at some later time. Using condoms at this point is wise of you; your physician will guide your decisions at this point if you consult him/her (and you should), but you may want to consider using condoms until 2 or more (depending upon the test) successive STI panels come back negative. Your physician will, of course, have specific recommendations. I hope things work out in a positive way for you.

Well if you call that ''all going well'' you seem to have found your calling. Good for you. If any of my gfs in the LS had told me that my new position in her life was only 'more fun out of the bedroom', I would have told her that I was happy for her and her new stud and that starting immediately she would have to look for a place to stay 'outside of what use to be our relationship'.....lol....

A very interesting question. Being a guy, I can’t talk about seeing the size of another guy at a party, that would have been for my wife. I will say that the guys she was attracted to (other than the one gang bang she participated in,) were usually clothed before she decided to go with them. So, unless she had x-ray eyes, it couldn’t have been their tool size that was the determining factor. For me, it is usually a flirtatious manner that attracts me. Oh, physical attributes such as pleasing breast shape or a great ass will provide a certain bump, but that’s not the all of it. Let me tell you a story that illustrates my point. We arrived at one party, fashionably late. We only knew one other couple there, out of a crowd of thirty or so. We entered the kitchen and a woman who was dressed in a floor length lace gown approached me. She said, “I’m the inspector. Ready to be inspected?” I agreed and she then flowed to me, kissed me passionately. After thirty seconds or so we broke and she declared, “Oh, you definitely pass.” Then she walked away, giving me a glance over her shoulder. She was mildly attractive, but not a knockout by anyone’s standards. For the next hour, while the party was warming up, I kept seeing her give me the eye from time to time. Not that I was the only one, she was flirting with other men simultaneously. Later I made a point of looking her up, and as I fondly remember, she gave me a wonderful time that night! Had she not teased me the way she did, I’m sure I would have passed her over.

There is swinger jewelry that's very nice. It is Partners ID jewelry and they make ankle bracelets and other jewelry.

I don't think anyone likes to use condoms but it is a fact of life for most in this lifestyle. We are still considering having children so permanent solutions do not work for us yet. I've been on the pill for a long time, and while nothing is foolproof, it does the trick for me even as I go bareback with some partners.

Hi Folks: My wife and I are considering trying swinging. We are considering starting with a MFM threesome (there's essentially a current opportunity to do that), then an FMF threesome (when the opportunity presents itself). I guess our main question is: are there any red flags in starting this way? I don't know if we'd continue with anything else after that...a lot probably depends on how we feel about these two experiences. More details below if you have the stamina to read my long posts! I"ll try to make this as short as I can. About 1.5 years ago, I visited a strip bar in Toronto...I hadn't been to a strip club in years and my wife encouraged me to go. I ended up getting a lap dance from two hot ladies. My wife wanted details, and it was a little hard for me to open up, but I did (I do my best to be completely honest). I figured she'd be a little upset about how intimate the lap dance was, but she was totally turned on by it. When I got home from the business trip, we had the hottest sex we've had in years. So that got us to talking. This also of course led me to share with my wife that a sexual fantasy I've had for 2 decades was to have a threesome with two women. I offered to take her or send her with a bunch of girls to a male strip show, but she wasn't really into that idea. She likes to be in control...she would much rather give a lap dance than get one. I said "Cool...we could actually do that!" Then she asked me "How would you feel if I was grinding naked on another guy?" I thought about it for a bit and answered "I'd be totally turned on by it". And I would. From just talking about all this, if I recall we had some smokin' hot sex. Since then, we've started fantasizing more and more openly with each other, now well into people we know (excepting very close long-term friends) and could possible engage in some play with. We've both written erotic stories for each other, and often flirt/tease other people just to arouse each other. End result: hot sex with each other. We've visited some strip bars together and gotten couple's lap dances, we've partied with some acquaintances, flirted, teased, danced, fondled and groped a little, etc...essentially some very mild erotic play with others. End result: we have smoking hot sex with each other. We've engaged in quite a bit of online flirting and a few cyber-sex encounters...I've encouraged my wife to take advantage of cyber-sex with a young "virtual boyfriend", and she's enjoyed it (and so have I). I've been quite entertained in strips bars and I really want to be fair to her, so I encouraged her and him to engage in whatever felt natural. End result: after she has a cyber-sex encounter with her virtual boy-toy, we have hot sex. I probably don't have to say much more about where this appears to be headed, do I? The cyber-BF has asked if he can come visit us...my wife has told me about his request, and we've talked about it quite a bit (for a month or two now). I've thought it all over carefully and I've said "Tell him to come on down." I've suggested to set the expectation that we'll hang out and have a few drinks and laughs...if anything erupts, we'll run with it. She likes him a lot as a person, and I know she'd essentially fuck his and my brains out. She's much more suspicious than I am, so if her barometer says he's safe and trustworthy, then I'm good with the safety element, even if it involves a little alone time for them. We're both in our early 40's and he's in his early 20's, so the "training a young stud" element has some appeal for her. And that's cool, if we're going to do this, I'd definitely want it to be as smokin' hot for her as it can be...her doing someone she's been burning for sexually is what I'd want for her. That turns us both on. We've talked about fairness quite a bit, and I get to have a similar experience with her and another woman when the opportunity presents itself. I'm patient, so I'm in no huge hurry...like her, I would want it to be someone I really like and am turned on by (and someone who isn't shy about playing with both of us). We're both quite attractive people with engaging personalities, so I don't think finding a willing participant for me will be too difficult, although I realize it'll take a little time (I'm fine with that). We've both talked a lot about how we think we would feel the next day and not just during. I'm quite positive that I'll be fine with it all the next day (and we'll probably have smokin' hot sex for quite a while afterwards). Our sexual relationship has always been good...there have been a few dry spells here and there, but in general I think we have a really good sex life. I'm about the only guy I know personally who doesn't complain about the lack of sex or quality of sex. It's always been good, usually excellent, and sometimes just phenomenal. All these erotic shenanigans have done nothing but heat it all up. Our relationship otherwise has had it's ups and downs (we fairly recently worked through a very tough time, but managed to essentially wipe our slates clean and reset to zero...almost a fresh start, it feels like). I feel like our relationship has had some big swings in contentment at times over our 12 years of marriage, but overall I believe it's quite strong (we have ALWAYS managed to work through our problems somehow)...we both love each other and have a deep emotional connection. We have both always been faithful, we've never cheated on each other even when one of us might have wanted to. In fact, we've even gotten to the point of openness and honesty that we can admit to each other when we have crushes or infatuations with other people (and we end up using that in our fantasizing). We even encourage each other to flirt and playfully pursue our "crushes". I've suggested that we go to a local swinger party and watch, flirt, maybe even make-out with another couple if we meet some folks we like, but not engage in anything actually qualifying as "sex"...then see how we feel the next day about it all. (I'd suspect "hot sex with each other", but you never know for sure until you just try it, I guess.) I'm not sure that would be all that "hot" for us though...we both like to really know and like the person's we have sex with. I've never been a pick-up artist nor has she ever been a pickup-ee. We both have to at least really like the respective person we want to do. We've talked about setting boundaries for this first MFM...my wife feels that if we're going to do this, she wouldn't be satisfied without the whole enchilada (meaning everything including intercourse). After thinking that over, I see her point and I agree. I could be happy just doing oral with some of the ladies that I might end up with, but then I have to consider that some women may not want to give oral to me (although I love giving oral to a woman!), so I suppose I could feel a little left out if I gave her oral and essentially got nothing in return. Regardless, I do agree with my wife...if we're going to do this, why not just go at it and let each other have maximum enjoyment, right? One thing I will say: even if we end up doing nothing, all the talking and openness and honesty sure seems like a great thing for our relationship. I feel good about us, and I guess in a way I want to reward us both for being good (ie. not having affairs, etc.) by us allowing ourselves to have some play time with others. We wouldn't want to do anything that would damage our relationship...but I just have this gut feel that after either encounter, we'd end up doing the usual...smokin' hot sex with each other. I'm going to point her to this thread to see if she has anything she wants to add. (Her username is Sif, if you catch our little Norse mythology allusion. ) So, given all that I've written, are there any glaring red flags that pop up to you experienced folks? Please let us know what you think about starting with a MFM, following with an FMF, then re-assessing how we feel and where we go from there if anywhere. Thanks in advance! Loki