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Thanks everyone for your replies. You've given me a lot to think about. I need to have a think about myself and what I want. I'll post back later once I have my thoughts together.

We were at the opening night of a brand new swingers club. It was a bit stilted and no one was quite sure how to get the ball rolling. We knew three of the couples and Mrs Doc (bless her libido) was impatient to get the party started. She had the four guys squeeze side by side on a sofa and lined the ladies up on their knees in front of their men. at her signal, the girls began going down on their husbands. After a bit, Mrs Doc said "switch" and each woman moved down the line. She called it 4 more times before one of the guys came (wasn't me…I was 2nd. By the time everyone got off, we had an audience and the party went on from there. Im not sure there is an exact protocol but sometimes an ice breaker is necessary.

My wife and I were ambivalent about having children. We decided not to. We thought at least one of us should be enthusiastic about it. We were not. We are happy with our decision. We are happily married for 32 years, we just retired at age 60 and when we want to socialize with the next generation, we take out some of our ten nieces and nephews, then give them back to their parents.

While private rooms are supposed to be private, that doesn't mean that they ARE private. It sounds like several people (1 couple and 1 single guy) just opened the door and saw what was happening and decided to join in. USUALLY most people ask permission, but some just don't (especially single guys). This is one of many reasons we have a code for 'take a break cuz something is up'. You need to feel that it is okay to say 'stop' (or at least slow down) and feel safe with what is going on. I would be more upset that Ms. Gold DIDN'T say something than if she did (and that sounds like your husband is experiencing the same thing...seemed to be enjoying it when it happened but when he found out that you didn't 'invite' what was going on is now not happy). I'm sure that you both learned from this and will be more observant in the future as well as be checking in more with each other while things are happening.

We would have suggested Desire RM or Pearl before Hedo (although we have never been to Hedo). We just aren't interested in the man/woman ratio. Plus Desire is couples only and a nudist resort that allows swinging (swinging isn't the priority there, being nude is). Still it's done so go and enjoy. Usually if you say no and/or tell others what your boundaries are they are respected (but be ready to tell them again since not everyone hears the first time). Have a great vacation and let us know how it goes!

Lucky you! I’d be interested in a follow up. Sounds like her husband went all in quick however she was a bit hesitant. I’m curious how the other couple faired with each other the morning after.

When a younger guy messages me he's into older women I am sure to hit delete.

True to swinger protocol, one of the couples cancelled. The couple we know better attended and a good time was had by all. We will keep these tips in our bag of tricks. Thanks!

Yeah, I get the "in the eyes" thing... that would suck! lol Both my long term group sex partners (1 American previous, 1 Japanese current) get really turned on by facials... once in a while. I, nor they don't like it "every time" (so much other stuff to do too!) but you know, when that particular mood. "but don’t get it on my face. I just don’t see the excitement of that." Well... it's just... HOT! The visual, the kink of it. If you put your head up on a pillow and the guy is to the side of you in missionary position, lot less change of shooting into your eyes.

Glad I came across this, first sixsome happening this Friday night

Thanks for your help! I'm told at Hedo you will engage in a lot of socializing and hanging out anyway. In that type of scenario, with everyone there to enjoy vacation, I'm hopeful that some more advanced couple might take mercy on our newbie restrictions and go along with it anyway if everything else clicks and the stars align correctly. Even if it doesn't happen that way, I'm going to enjoy the heck out of spending my anniversary trip with the wifey in such a sexy place.

Yep, that's exactly how I would handle it. Be prepared to have couples walk. You will meet people who will not be interested in that style of play. Don't take it personally, it's no different than you guys looking for what you want.

We were seduced by our best friends, so we were both having too much fun, my wife with him and me with his wife, to notice that much. Actually since it was not planned, but we are all nudists so we were all on the carpeted floor nude, I looked over to my wife and my friend going at it. I nodded to his wife, whom I was massaging at the time. She had a little smile on her face so I went from a straight massage to foreplay and intercourse. A great time was had by all. We have never had any regrets or jealousy issues, and it really opened up our sex lives. Afterwards my friend's wife whispered to me that her husband had wanted to have sex with my wife for years.

Thanks darling I hope so. I'm desperate to start a family.

I'd say probably half the women I've talked to honestly about sex admit to having rape fantasies, and I agree, 100%, the more a women is acculturated to the idea that sex is judged by others, the more vivid the fantasy is. Most women with a healthy libido have a primal urge to do a lot of things they would never let themselves do any other way, and a couple of women have been upfront that they know this is why they have that fantasy. Completely reasonable fantasy.

I disagree. Hedo is what you make of it. There are many people who go who are not swingers and have a wonderful time. It's what you make of it. Go and have a great time together with no expectations of swinging activity. Have fun in the playrooms and having sex wherever and whenever you like. If you happen to connect up with another couple and do whatever so much the better.

I have to strongly agree that when there is too strong of a connection between 2 of the 4 it's time to walk away. Either all 4 are into it or nobody plays... That's how we roll.

Boys can't be forced like girls in quite the same way (not by women anyway) so physical it's a little different. But they can still be mentally damaged, and abused physically by men so should be protected as much as girls I agree.

Thanks goldco I don't feel quite as silly now. You're right, it is being forced that turns me on so much, particularly if it's by a stranger.

It is like any new encounter with the opposite sex. What does she like? Will it stay hard? Will I get off too fast? Will I get her off? add the element of the same room and your other half is having a blast: Stay focused on my play partner Do not blow a nut hearing my other half get off, before my play partner is ready Enjoy hearing her enjoy herself All in all it is nervous good time with the extra element of something new while something you love an know being in the same room.

The couple I was talking about above, "after work with the guy she gave sympathy sex to when his wife was pregnant and they continued it with his wife's knowledge,". They're a Muslim immigrant couple Omar and Aisha, and when Aisha was telling my wife that she was having trouble having sex with her husband because she was pregnant and having nausea and pain, my wife volunteered to give him some relief. (My wife thinks Omar is attractive.) Aisha is shy, so my wife didn't expect anything to come of it, but long story short, it got arranged. It started with my wife occasionally fucking Omar alone, then doing it more regularly, to doing it comfortably with Aisha around. After Aisha had the kid and they started having sex again, my wife and Omar still continued occasionally since both Omar and Aisha (and my wife) liked it. Eventually I started being there as well sometimes. Since culturally for them a man having more than one wife is OK, the idea of her husband getting some on the side was OK too. Aisha said it was preferable to him having another wife. It also turns out that while Muslim women keep pretty well covered up with long sleeves and long pants and a head scarf, it's OK their women seeing other guys nude. So again long story short, it got to the point where I fuck my wife and eat her out after Omar is done with her. They find the whole idea crazy that not only do I let my wife fuck another man, but I also find it fun and we have sex after. I tell them that in the Christian west that it's the woman that gets extra sex on the side. Sometimes now even Aisha goes down on my wife after Omar fucked her, but I was only there once, and I fucked my wife after. But still I haven't seen the skin on Aisha's arms or legs. That's OK, all still fun.

I usually last longer than my wife's partner. I encourage my wife to come join us. Sometimes she does and sometimes she just lays back and watches us. I do believe my wife is somewhat disappointed when he partner pops too soon. We also understand he's not being selfish. He can't control his orgasm or how long it take him to get hard a 2nd time. Anatomy, out of anyones control. I love sloppy seconds. Enthusiastic oral sex followed by penetrative sex. We always reconnect after playing. That helps...

Female perspective here, but I love being fucked with cum on me. It's a real turn on.

Thanks for the candid reply and I understand your point of view. Yes you are right that is is standard practice for one man to say to another you are a lucky man but that is something I typically hear single men say to a couple. wHen you swing as a couple the comment would have been so sweet had if he said ...we are both very lucky men. That way you show respect for your partner and the other couple at the same time. The way my partner commented made me feel like I was the odd person out. He needs to remember he wouldn't be in this position if i was not a part of the equation. Just because we swing doesn't mean it is a license to behave is a disrespectful and unempathtic way.

All too often, the orgasm is the end of the encounter for the man. Personally, I want the experience to go on as long as possible. It's not a race and finishing isn't the goal here: fulfilling fantasies, pleasuring the woman, creating everlasting memories, THAT'S the goal. I guess it's something that takes a little age to figure out...especially if she is smoking hot. If you make her feel like a million dollars, then you might even get a chance to do a sequel. Keep looking and you'll find what you are looking for. We wish you success in your search.