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This is exactly why we don't allow girl/guy texting. Either girl/girl, guy/guy, or group only. We want to keep everything out in the open with no 'sneaking' behind anyones backs.

We've found that just being honest with other people is the best way, we tell people we're new and just edging in , they've all been there and most will be keen to help ease your nerves and worries, when you're ready and you meet that special couple that you're comfortable with everything will happen naturally , just don't set targets or goals

Welcome to the board. You are young, and yet you are not young marrieds. You have been married--to each other--longer than you have not been married to each other. Here is the question that you should answer for yourselves, and for each other. Do you love each other enough to commit to spending the rest of your lives together? Is there anything--anything?--that could or would tear you apart from each other? If so, what? The fact that you are hesitant is normal. It means you see value in your marriage that you are unwilling to risk. You are that important to each other. Now here is the secret. Couples that are indeed hesitant, couples that value each other and their marriage above all else, those are the couples who will find the lifestyle wonderful. They are unwilling to cheat on each other. And giving each other permission to play, to have a bit of physical pleasure in each other's presence and with each other's consent, typically does not put such marriages at risk. Pretend it is not 2018 but 2058. You are now 75 and 77 years old. What memories do you want? That you spent 4 decades wondering? Or that you spent 4 decades exploring together? Good luck on your journey.

We had a blast! Went to a LS club in OKC last night for the first time not knowing what to expect. I was thinking it would be much smaller with an older and cliquey crowd of 10-15 couples max. This place was huge and packed with 100-150 people. Great DJ, huge spread of finger foods, majorly diverse crowd. We dressed to impress and it showed. We had tons of people approach just to introduce themselves and chat. Nobody was pushy or creepy. Everyone was having fun and we felt instantly comfortable. OF COURSE, our first night we ran into a couple I know from my vanilla life. ? This also happened at our first BDSM club foray in Denver. They walked up, said hi, and chatted for a bit. Neither him or her had met my wife until that time. His wife was totally into mine and came back naked later to tell her she was the hottest girl at the club and fawned over her. I thought we'd probably see someone at some point because we are pretty well known in general for vanilla life stuff but not the first night! ? It actually made the whole evening more comfortable tbh. We ended up sitting with some wives for most of the night and people watching. All in all, it was an amazing night. We are looking forward to attending again at the next event in two weeks. The BYOL was awesome too. We'd have spent twice the entry fee in liquor on a normal club night. The no pressure feeling was awesome too. Usually when my wife is alone at a bar, either me going to the restroom or when she does, she has constant pressure from guys and here it was never like that or uncomfortable for even a second. We were both pleased and ready for the next one.

Knowing that there MAY be predators is all you really need to know on this subject. Just be aware and check in with your SO and make sure that everything is going well with them is all you need to do. Otherwise, 99% of the couples are great and will obey any rules and limits that you have. Just be open with what you want and don't want. Start out with chatting and being social and most couples will understand that there is a possibility that it could lead to something but nothing is ever guaranteed. Plan on having a night of fun and whatever happens, happens...even if nothing else really happens.

It has been awhile since our introduction here. After our first experience with a couple this past summer, we met with them two more times and enjoyed swapping partners. That experience triggered a previously unknown sexual desire for the wife. She opened a profile on a dating site and we agreed that she can meet with guys with my prior approval. Since then she has been with 6 different guys and with two of them multiple times. She surprises me with pictures and videos from her encounters and that excites me a lot. We have great sex when she gets home from her adventures and I love to enter her knowing that she recently been penetrated by another guy.This is just an update of where we are now. The forum provided us with great insight into the lifestyle.

We had only 1 bad experience with a couple we met at a club in over a decade and when it happened, we were 2 years into exploring our hobby. I missed warning signs and I've never made that mistake again. From that point on if someone gives either of us the slightest twitch, we move on no matter how hot the couple. There is always a risk, but people at swinger clubs tend to be less prevue (believe it or not) or at least more honest about their pervs. We actually got roofied at vanilla bar one night. Mrs Doc was at the bar and I was in another room for awhile watching a game and chatting with a buddy. When I came back to the bar, she was on the dance floor. My drink was empty so I drank hers. A short time later I was totally wasted (only 2 drinks, barely enough for a buzz). She had to help me to the car and then help me into bed. I remember very little. She said she had exchanged pleasantries with a guy before going out to dance. Our best guess is that he targeted her figuring she was alone and I tanked his plans inadvertently. The moral is: bad shit can happen anywhere

My first wife and I were together from the late ‘60s through the late ‘70s, basically the period of our 20s. We were both pretty curious about sex and not scrupulous about fidelity. We should have been more explicit with one another about what was permissible and what wasn’t in terms of sex with others. Once, when I came back from a lengthy business and pleasure trip we got into bed and she asked if while on the trip I’d had sex with a woman we both knew, who I was going to be staying with for a few days. I admitted I had. At that point she told me she’d been having sex with our next-door neighbor, one of her medical-school classmates, adding that they had talked about fixing me up for sex with his (recently-acquired) wife, a nurse. I found this revelation literally breathtaking. And completely unexpectedly, in a good way. A very good way. I was so turned on. We were already naked in bed and we immediately began fucking. It was more than 40 years ago and I can’t recall how many times she came, but I did three times before we were finished. She told me she’d recently broken off this sexual liaison but I was seriously tempted to suggest we renew it, this time as a four-way. (She said her lover had complained about his wife that her pussy was so tight he could barely find his way into it, at which point — bless her heart — she told him that with the size of my erect penis sex with his wife would be a non-starter. :-) This was the point in my life at which I realized I was wired sexually a bit differently than many others. We later had a soft swing with another couple and I deeply enjoyed watching her jack the other guy to orgasm several times. (It slightly distracted me from my task of pleasuring his wife.) My then wife and I several times discussed swinging, but our schedules were busy and there was not the internet through which to make connections, nor a place like this one, providing helpful advice to novices. So, it never happened, and a few years later, worn from the stresses of medical and graduate school and the poverty that went with it, we divorced. And now she and I are old. She’s a grandmother. After a period of estrangement that lasted decades, we are again friends, both quite happy in our lengthy marriages. (She has implied that she and her husband no longer have sex, and that she’s fine with that.) We live a a little more than an hour from each other and with our spouses sometimes see each other in social situations with mutual friends. Several times a year she and I have lunch together and catch up. Her hair is white and her face is wrinkled. But I still think she’s attractive and sometimes looking at her across the table in the restaurant, in my mind’s eye I picture us as young and fucking our brains out. And when I think of her having sex with other men at that time in our lives, it still really turns me on.

Hi. New here. I’m not sure if this fits here. My first post. I travel a lot for business. Not proud to say I cheated a number of times. My wife caught on and it wasn’t a pleasant time for me. I can tell you she wasn’t turned on by cheating. She at some point asked how I would feel if she slept around. Don’t know why I said she should. Our deal was that we had to be honest. Our other deal was not to fall for anyone. I never thought she would do it. She did. It hurt. I never showed the hurt. Over time our truthfulness led to some crazy stories. I hoped her stories were embellished. I think we tried to one up each other. It became funny and sexy and led to some crazy sex. Recently it led us here.

Cheating is usually frowned upon in the swing community. I'm thinking what you are talking about is 'hotwifing'...where she is allowed to have sex with others and then tells you about it. Do so research and see if this is more of what you have in mind.

Yes, as said above, couples that don't care about what they are doing are the ones to worry about. The couples that are concerned about their partner more often than not are going to do well...or realize that this isn't for them and walk away. Back in my younger days, I was VERY jealous of my partner, but with my current partner, I KNOW that she is coming home with me. That this is just something we do together and enjoy it. Love/trust/communication are all paramount in the relationship but as long as you have an abundance of all three, it seems like the jealousy stays away. Getting to the point where you have all three in abundance is the much harder part. No matter what, you never can be sure what you will feel until you get to the actual point of it happening. Keep checking in with your partner and don't be hesitant if you decide you are not ready yet (do NOT continue forward because you don't want to ruin their good time - it's called 'taking one for the team' and it almost never ends well). Take your time, talk, be TOTALLY honest with each other and (if you decide to move forward) move forward as a team. Whatever you do, however, don't do this because it is something he wants to do and you don't. Go together because you BOTH want to or don't go at all. Good luck and let us know what you choose to do.

Baby steps...a blow to your marriage is a big risk to take just because with an escort ''its not the same thing''...if this works than you'll better prepared for the club single male.....good luck! I totally agree with that part but I can't get my head around how having a threesome with a prostitute can be considered taking baby steps

I will disagree with most of the posts here and agree with luvin eye full. With the escort you will be more emotionally safe. He's not there to be better than you, he's getting paid, it's his job and will make sure at all times that you are both still into it. A bad review of his services on an escort review board can cost him a lot of business. With a single male that you have just met in a club, with both of you basically new at this, the single male you pick may seem after talking to him very respectful and the perfect guy for that first 3some, but the problem is that you never really know since you just met him. Not all men know how to control the competitive animal most men have in them and in young males that animal is even more present. With the escort you will both be able, in a safer environment, to see which never felt before emotions the 3some will create. It does not have the natural feel of the club single male, but you have time to get to that. Baby steps...a blow to your marriage is a big risk to take just because with an escort ''its not the same thing''...if this works than you'll better prepared for the club single male.....good luck!

It's been covered already but by choosing a hooker you're really missing out on a lot of things that are good about swinging, it would be much better to go to a club and just go as many times as you like until you feel ready to dabble, you'll get to hear about others experiences , have good conversation and build some connections with some pretty awesome people, you're going to miss out on all that taking the route you're planning

After several years of hubby letting me have a boyfriend and sometimes doing MFMs with them, I decided to bring another woman/women into our life and bed. I did what you have suggested, probably because as a woman I knew this instinctively. I would select a woman I met, take her to lunch, coffee, shopping, even an evening "date" by myself. Eventually the conversation would turn to sex as it always does and I would ask questions, listen. If I liked her then my husband and I would begin to date her together, not only dinner and theater dates, but also weekends and even vacations together, her with her own room. We always paid for everything, everyone always enjoyed themselves, and we never applied pressure for sex. If she wasn't interested, neither were we. We are still on friendly terms still with all of those we dated. Some became lovers for hubby and/or me, and two are now part of our poly family. Joining hubby having sex with other women is what brought out my lesbian side, and so having them join living with us was natural and easy for me, and ultimately what they wanted.

Not all have these feelings, but I did. They haven't gone away, but now I enjoy them - the feelings that another woman enjoys my partner, that he is having fun, having intense "reclaiming" sex with him after they finish. It is addictive. It is like the good feeling after intense exercise that hurts. It is like riding a scarey roller coaster and wanting to get on again.

I recommend that you read this before moving forward with your plan: https://www.bestofvegas.com/articles/Legal-vs-Illegal/

I agree with all who said that sex ed should begin earlier than my proposed 14. However, starting around 14 young adults should learn everything about sex, not just the "where babies come from" and "stranger danger," but homosexuality, STDs, all forms of birth control, fetishes and kinks they may encounter, and especially that people older than them will try to take advantage of them sexually/emotionally.

Look at Desire Resort in the Riviera Maya, Mexico. Go and meet real people with zero expectations. Then go again and go again and keep doing that until it happens organically and everyone has an enjoyable experience. There is no finish line in the lifestyle. Go slow and have fun.

I think you should do it and all your conditions as well. I get the feeling the wife wants a out if needed and that's fine - so it's not swinging but it is getting to see if you to can even consider this, With out the personal feelings towards it. I see it as a big step for a girl that is not sure of any of it and feels she needs to have a way out. Though what the others have said is right also - if you do this then realize it's a far cry from swinging, the things i would hope to get out of this if i were her is this Trusting my husband to stop if needed, Trusting my husband to allow me to go at my pace, trusting my husband in taking into account my worries and fears, and of course trusting my husband. oh did i say that already. Also talking all the way - use this a a test bed for all the things you need and should have. forget the sex part it's a way to a means in so much as you two can get so much more out of this Things like communication - trust - togetherness. these are the things she's looking for - Before she commits to all out screwing strangers lol. And they are the things you will need if you ever want her to feel she can do this with out guilt and with some one she loves. lastly for a conservative faith based girl, paying for sex is in her mind better then sulting her self out for free. hope it made sense.

First off, welcome to the Swingers Board! It sounds like you guys are doing a great job of being on the right track with getting started! You've talked about things together, which is the most important of all, and then have a plan to just take it slow, which is also important. In terms of the being social, I would just say be yourselves. You might not feel comfortable being the life of the party flitting from one group to the next, now or ever. That's really more of a personality type thing and that's not us either. But, you can introduce yourselves to those at the tables around yours, give a big smile and a Hi to those you meet while at the bar getting a drink, etc. Just do those low-level things and they probably will result in hitting it off with someone to where the conversation grows. A good club shouldn't have any "predators". Anybody who has that objective or can't take no for an answer should be immediately shown the door. So, just say "sorry, not interested" if someone gets pushy and should they keep it up, then let the club know and they will take care of it. Most swingers are very understanding of newness...they were there too one. So, a "sorry, but we're not ready for that yet" doesn't necessarily close the door forever with them. They know how it is, they may never see you again, or you may become regulars at the club and regular playmates eventually. Good luck and hope you have a great time. Please let us know how it goes!

some times i think we as a group tend to make everything we do about swinging - for me i do not want to go out swinging on a spiel day - those are for us - i'd rather be with my family celebrating the b/day and so would my wife - swinging is not what runs us - its just something we have a hobby in.

Thanks GoldCoCouple...I appreciate the thoughts and the invite to stay on, I guess we have a lot more work to do.

Hedo may be way too advanced for you two. I'd suggest a visit or three to a well attended on premises club before you go off to Jamaica.

I disagree with this. We like house parties specifically for the reason that the expectation of couple swap play is much lower. We can each find a partner we like and play with them even if they are not married to each other. My husband has some friends he really enjoys, I am never going to play with their husbands. He would not ask me to do that and I'm pretty sure the husbands, being nice guys, would not want me to step up to the plate because my husband was with their wife. Would you really want a wife to pity fuck you because her husband likes your wife? I'm not something to be traded. It's not a tit for tat.

Been there, done that. Once, I was on top, reverse cowgirl and had a husband and wife doing the licking. The other time it was as you described, doggy style with the guy underneath while his wife and I took care of my husband's needs. Come to think of it, both scenarios have been repeated several times. E

This is our male half. Our girl half's wildest fantasy is to be alone with a Playboy-model-looking girl for a few hours, no guys or audience around, no inhibitions. She has been around women a lot, but always with guys to get in the way and that bugs her. She always wants a guy by the end of it though. My own fantasies are fired more by neurons than testosterone. My ultimate fantasy is for us to find a couple that we're both attracted to who are also both bisexual and comfortable with it. There are lots of straight men around, or curious men that just can't deal with it, and the 'ew, don't touch me!' thing always feels like a party killer to me no matter what fun stuff is going on. A situation where four people are all mutually attracted, that is sexy to me. Everybody has three different people to play with, nobody is hung up over who touches who, that's sexy.