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On occasions I view some vanilla family and parenting boards, which are populated primarily by women. Sometimes there will be a thread about nonmonogamy, like "my husband wants to swap with another couple," or "I want a threesome," etc. (The replies fall into three general categories: "We do that - try it," "We don't do that but have fun," and "Just thinking about that is despicable.") All understandable except the few who reply, "I used to ........... (have threesomes, swap, do anal, give blowjobs), but now I'm married and he better not even bring up the topic or I'll kill him." Some women say their husbands don't even know about their wild past sex life. To me, how can you not discuss an important part of your past (and present and future) with someone who is supposed to be closest to you? How can you deny your mate at least a discussion of giving him his fantasies? Another topic was about not going to bed mad. Sounds like a good idea if you can pull it off, but in our poly family the dynamic is different. If one of us is mad at someone in the family (we're all lovers except the guys), that person will go to bed with someone else. Two advantages: the other person will talk some sense into you, and you can still have sex without thinking you're giving in.

Having done it a couple of times with my wife and our close male friend, I can say it was a lot of fun for all three of us. If you are having sex, do what you enjoy and don't spend your time worrying about what others are thinking. Just remember that the mere fact that you are fine with and enjoy non-monogamous sex just for the fun of it means you are doing something a majority of the population does not approve of.

It is not gay. It is pure fun for all 3 parties involved. An the tightness of 2 penises inside the same pussy can get you to explode like never before if you just relax and take in the moment.

Never actually saw any penetration, too busy with the other wife to notice, but I remember two times. I was on the couch with the other wife and my wife and the guy were standing up across the room. I looked up when she was crossing the room towards us wiping the inside of her thighs, and said I think he came in me. Another time while busy on one side of the bed with the couples wife, my wife was on the other side on top of him. I heard some noise looked over and saw my wife rising up on her knees and seeing his cum run out of her. Both times very sexy.

A quick phone call or skype could easily answer whether it's worth making the trip / taking the time to meet them. It takes less time to have a 10 minute conversation then it does to drive somewhere and spend time meeting them, then deal with the awkwardness of it not clicking and having to end the night.

I vote not gay as well, with two males 'entertaining' a woman at the same time their cocks are bound to touch at some stage.

i havn’t a bisexual bone in my body and I vote “not gay”.

No. In fact, if they guys are that hung up on their manhood's touching, why are they swinging in the first place?

disturbing is a good word.

A lady friend & I picked a third for us to play with. It was erotic and great to see her pleasure in having him fuck her & take her to orgasm. He was bi & they took turns giving me head & it looked like she got the same thrill out of seeing me in ecstasy over their attention.

In the singles world I did the same. I can't say why exactly I feel differently when playing as a couple... it may have something to do with the large amount of time I wasted meeting guys for drinks/coffee that I probably could have avoided with a 5 minute phone call to establish if they could actually carry on enough conversation to engage my brain enough to make me actually want to fuck them.

I was looking at the miscommunication more on their part (and you may be right it may well have been and probably was more of a failure to communicate with each other. I can't imagine a situation where a guy sends someone else his wife's # and then asks THEM if they are talking... why do you not already know? Why are you not asking/ talking to your wife?

Nope,not to my point of view.

It's not "gay" at all, JoshuaKing. It's all about the lady, not the men. from Oklahoma!

Agreed! And that's what we've been doing. I even posted a new thread about one of the interesting things that's come up in those discussions. It's all a learning experience and while we both want to continue on, we are both good with just taking it one step at a time. If it happen ( and I agree, it likely will, someday) it happens...if it doesn't that's ok too. As long as we are talking about how we feel, what's to lose?

Mr. Host sounds like a real scumbag, and his wife is a fool for letting him act that way. And no, swinging is not giving yourself up to other people freely, in our opinion anyway. It is no different than in a vanilla dating scenario. If it had been just you and him on a first or second date, and you told him no, that is stepping over legal boundaries, regardless of if you have given yourself to other men/people. That is one of our big fears as well, that even though everyone says 'no means no' will it be honored? Your husband was much more cool about it than He would have been, he would have been looking for his own physical gratification with the guy, just not in a sexual way. We don't like physical altercations, but in this case it sounds like it would have been justified.

Sounds pretty much like rape and if he knew he had an std, I am pretty sure you should tell the others.