Leaderboard

It's an hypothesis. There are others. Some people likely create profiles to wander around the website looking for photos. Others may be looking for (evidence of cheating) spouses. An alternate hypothesis is that there are at least three populations within a board: 1. Those who frequent the boards and are sustained/sustaining participants. 2. Those who are longer-term members and drop in occasionally, either just to check in or else for a specific purpose (such as looking for a 'hot date', party, or just to locate someone(s) and send a message). 3. Those who join briefly to accomplish some specific purpose and then vanish. One suspects that the webmasters have data on intervals between logins and duration of logins; on frequency of any positive activity (sending a note, posting a date, posting a photo); responding to an ad (e.g. for a cruise); and so on. They need such data to sell the popup ads. As a consequence, they likely know who constitutes their high-value customers. There is likely a correlation among all of the above behaviors and with pay status: lifetime members, paid members, free members, and free members with multiple names from a single IP address. The latter is important, as advertising rates have to be calculated, and the people who pay for ads worry a lot about actual eyes on the ad not to mention eyes that might spend.

I posted this report in another thread, but I think it deserved it's own thread here. OK! We went to Trapeze. The food was great. We went on a Friday night (single males allowed), and so I think the vibe was a little different. There were single guys scattered about, but all of them were respectful. I think it was because of this that people weren't really mingling. We ate, drank, and people-watched for quite a while as the place filled up. Not many couples were talking to others. We had a great time just talking to each other, having a few drinks, and dancing. One thing that was really great is that you feel really free to dance dirty in the club for obvious reasons. Around 11:30 we got out of our clothes, charged into the back like a boss, and had crazy good sex with each other in the couples room. Anxiety about PDA, being around people in the lifestyle, and having sex right next to others is now gone! It was a great suggestion from the group that we do this prior to our Hedo trip. I wish we could have interacted more with people, but it didn't seem like that kind of a night. We are going to make a return trip on a Saturday night (couples only) to see if that changes the vibe. This was by far the most exotic thing we've done in 20 years. Compared to some of the reports here it's pretty tame, but to go from plain vanilla to showing up at a swingers club, dirty dancing, and having sex in a room full of others having sex in one night was pretty big for us! This was a fantastic stepping stone before Hedo in March. We are both excited and also looking forward to going back to Trapeze on a couples only night.

OK! So we went to Trapeze. The food was great. We went on a Friday night (single males allowed), and so I think the vibe was a little different. There were single guys scattered about, but all of them were respectful. I think it was because of this that people weren't really mingling. We ate, drank, and people-watched for quite a while as the place filled up. Not many couples were talking to others. We had a great time just talking to each other, having a few drinks, and dancing. One thing that was really great is that you feel really free to dance dirty in the club for obvious reasons. Around 11:30 we got out of our clothes, charged into the back like a boss, and had crazy good sex with each other in the couples room. Anxiety about PDA, being around people in the lifestyle, and having sex right next to others is now gone! It was a great suggestion from the group that we do this prior to our Hedo trip. I wish we could have interacted more with people, but it didn't seem like that kind of a night. We are going to make a return trip on a Saturday night (couples only) to see if that changes the vibe.

While using the features at Web sites like SLS or SZC that allows me to see on-line profiles that are recently created, I notice that many are active for a few days then show notes like, “last on-line 25 days ago.” I suspect that people's expectations after creating a profile are that they are going to receive dozens of inquiries. When this does not happen they give up on the idea.

So what are (or were) your rules?

Fundamental Law has the topic pretty well covered. Personal experience: Was just starting to poke around and thinking about the LS so created our initial profile on several sites (5 or more for sure). They were free profiles to begin with. As we learned more about what we were looking for, we also learned more about the various sites. Some sites delivered while others did not and we ditched those. We became lifetime members on 3 sites and paid for a membership for 6 months on another site but we ditched that one later for a variety of reasons. But we do believe there are a number of profiles created by lurkers just to see what they can see and then move on to other target rich areas.

I was 15 and it was with a slightly older man, 40 or so, but completely consensual. Some people will immediately jump on this but it was entirely my choice, and it was great.

Yes most things are easier if you only talk about doing them! Well we're packed and virtually ready to head off.......

@cSwing, I'm not sure there is anything anyone here could say that would convince you. You've already discounted the most important person in your life's opinion because he's 'blinded by love' - what hope does a rando on the internet have Unfortunately we are programmed to believe how others perceive us defines our worth, and then we are encouraged to project onto others our worse self image issues. It's a vicious cycle. Ultimately self image is yours to grapple with. Mindfulness might help, focusing on the pleasure your body brings you vs how you look, though I'm a little loath to be prescriptive here. I do know that the week leading up to a week at a swingers resort is always fraught with self doubt for us, but the week after we feel like gods. Being surrounded by folks of all shapes and sizes, ages and persuasions, rocking their ultimate naked sexy selves is like a full body lift. We return home feeling 10 years younger and infinitely sexier. If we could only bottle the essence of that for when we're not there. Regardless, good luck with your struggle. Folks will find you sexy. Whether you believe they will or not. D

i havn’t a bisexual bone in my body and I vote “not gay”.

We were seduced by our best friends, so we were both having too much fun, my wife with him and me with his wife, to notice that much. Actually since it was not planned, but we are all nudists so we were all on the carpeted floor nude, I looked over to my wife and my friend going at it. I nodded to his wife, whom I was massaging at the time. She had a little smile on her face so I went from a straight massage to foreplay and intercourse. A great time was had by all. We have never had any regrets or jealousy issues, and it really opened up our sex lives. Afterwards my friend's wife whispered to me that her husband had wanted to have sex with my wife for years.

It is like any new encounter with the opposite sex. What does she like? Will it stay hard? Will I get off too fast? Will I get her off? add the element of the same room and your other half is having a blast: Stay focused on my play partner Do not blow a nut hearing my other half get off, before my play partner is ready Enjoy hearing her enjoy herself All in all it is nervous good time with the extra element of something new while something you love an know being in the same room.

Damn yes I was nervous. Our first time was more about my wife. I wanted to watch her, but with a woman. We ended up with a couple. I didn’t know how I would react watching my wife. For me being with another woman in front of my wife I worried about getting an erection. That fear disapppeared because I was pretty hard. I worried about going off too fast. My first was younger and very attractive so I worried how she looked at me. My wife was very supportive. I was way more nervous than her.