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We haven't crossed this bridge yet, but I can tell you that my wife has had all sizes prior to marrying me 20 years ago. One of her previous boyfriends was very big. Bottom line: there is a whole lot more to attraction and pairing up (mating) than size of the unit. Most women look at the big picture and how all the elements add up from personality to humor to body and everything in between.

As pointed out above (as well as in other threads you've started), the first thing that is required to have success in swinging is to understand swinging, which I don't believe you do yet. That's ok, most people don't, but the burden on you is to learn how all of this works and as a single guy what your place in it is. This site is a great place to do that, but you have to be willing to learn too. What most single males don't get is swinging isn't going to change to suit them, they must change to suit swinging. Do that, and with lots of patience and time invested to where you have proven yourself to couples that you get it, then the playtime may eventually come.

Oh Goodie!! Another single guy looking for easy sex and thinking swinging is about HIS dick.

Twice this week, nudist friends who are not swingers expressed resentment that swingers have "invaded", "taken over", "annexed" their clubs. Their dismay is valid: in both instances the club operators made a decision to welcome swingers as an alternative to financial collapse. One way to look at this is to assert that swingers "saved" these clubs. Another way to look at this is to observe that one alternative lifestyle is simply displacing another, and nudists are in danger of extinction. Neither image is attractive. In any event, simple social nudity is imperiled. There are a couple of things lifestylers can--and probably should --do to support our nudist friends. First, when on the grounds of these formerly-nudist-now-mixed clubs, give the non-swinger nudists a measure of respect. Many joined those clubs because it was family- safe, not sexually liberated. Their values might be different. Second, and maybe more important, it may be worthwhile supporting their efforts to be clothes-free elsewhere, such as on public lands, beaches, state parks and so on. According our nudist friends a measure of respect costs nothing. Having them think kindly of swingers may be valuable as various alternative lifestyles fall under political and religious siege.

My wife and I recently returned from a vacation at a lifestyle resort. There we meet a sexy and super fun couple. The unfortunate thing was we really didn't get a chance to get to know them. We arrived and they departed two days later. We really only had a few hours to talk. Since returning home we've been chatting a little. The issue is we're struggling with keeping the conversation going. We had such limited time to get to know them we really don't have much to say. We want to get to know them. We want to know more about their style of play and interests in general but it's hard when we're basically starting from scratch. Any ideas on how to keep the chat moving along? Or, should this happen easily and the fact it's not is a clear sign it's not for a reason? Time to move on!

Every person/couple in the lifestyle shares a common experience: we began. The "why, what, and how" is unique for each person and each couple, but the act of taking that first step binds us together. The anxieties are predictable, the concerns heartfelt, and the physical/spiritual/emotional tensions all surface. Looking back, the angst is not about sex, it's about intimacy. Looking back, the angst is not about 'dating', it's about 'relating'. Looking back, the angst is not about what we do, it's about who we are--and who we aspire to become. That step forward into the lifestyle, at least for couples, is all about the foundation of their relationship, the meaning of sex(ual exclusivity), why they (we) chose to live our lives together. Candidly, that's really scary territory for many couples. Surely it was for us. Yet we began. We began our journey into "alternative lifestyles" with our first trip to a nude resort, now more than two decades ago. Exposed. Vulnerable. That, in fact, is the root of the angst. That by joining an alternative lifestyle--nudism, swinging, whatever--that somehow will place your relationship with your partner at risk. It is a common refrain that swinging exposes every fault in a relationship, and yet those who stay in the lifestyle are stronger for it. Swinging does not expose the faults--the faults (we all have them) were there and simply expressed differently. Why is "beginning" a courageous act? Why do vanillas say "I would never be so brave with our relationship?" Remember the wisdom of Thucydides, "The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it." Those who begin in the lifestyle have bravely done the hard work of introspection--not of themselves but of the relationship with their partner. What does that relationship mean, what do I bring to it, what does my partner bring to it. Some who step forward will step back. Others who step forward will continue. Yet all who take that first step, become 'newbies'-- they have earned our respect. They have asked themselves what they mean to each other with greater clarity, requiring greater transparency, and have started to find answers. What surprises so many newbies, yet us utterly unsurprising to those who have been in LS for a while, is the degree to which couples "fall in love with each other all over again". Why that should be is a topic for another time.

For us it isn't about size. That is one of the last things my wife looks at when perusing profiles. In fact she relishes the mystery. I have the good fortune of being a member of the 8" club so she actually prefers something smaller for some fun. Our last boyfriend was barely 6" but he had the most awesome upward curve to his erect penis. He could give her g-spot a working over that made me wonder at times if any hotel guests would call the police. She always had to have an absorbent pad underneath when fucking him because she would squirt pools of female cum with him. At first I was a bit intimidated but eventually fell into the comfort zone enjoying the fact that she could find this pleasure in her life. Happy wife, Happy life

The only thing I'm looking at is if she is happy and having fun and enjoying herself. If she is achieving all of those things with a guy who has a big cock, then great. Same goes for guy with average size cock, same goes with guy with small cock, etc. It's not just about the cock, it's about the whole package and the experience.

Very vanilla couple here, but reading and listening to the other stories of experiences. The positive attitudes and overall good nature of folks in the lifestyle is the most attractive feature for us. I'm sure we would be nervous going into a club and feel the overwhelming expectations to go past our boundaries. It's good to know you can take things at your own pace and it be generally accepted. We're also not naive to think every situation is positive, but the more we read, the more confidence we get. Thanks for sharing your experiences, good and bad.

I totally agree with the we must stand together or we shall surely fall separately approach when it comes to alternative lifestyles. And, financial realities can lead to a lot of disappointment to when a resort, vanilla campground, little Mom and Pop restaurant down the street, or any other place/business that you have patronized for years and have many fond memories of closes or changes into something different than what you had been accustomed to for so long. On the issue of the nudist vs swingers at the clubs, I don't know the specifics but I wonder if the club owner doesn't bear some of the responsibility in this situation? If they aren't clearly stating what their venue is all about now, then that's going to cause problems because by trying to walk the fence, you've made everybody mad...the swingers are feeling throttled back on their swinging, and the nudists are saying it's not throttled back nearly enough to none. Until the expectations are clearly defined for everyone, then it's going to be impossible to meet expectations since nobody knows for sure what they are to start with and so they fill in that blank themselves. By being left in a vacuum they can only judge solely upon what they WANT it to be, not how they were TOLD it would be, and that's not a good recipe for happy customers.

Bi husband here with a bi comfortable wife meaning she will go w/ the flow if the other woman initiates but my wife does not pursue other woman, much to my dismay We have played w/ a few bi couples and for me it's the best! There's nothing like eight hands moving freely about the hot tub. But trying to find a bi couple is difficult.