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I think if you spend enough time here (this question gets asked fairly often) you will likely find that private parties are the best bet, but an invitation can be difficult to come by. Swing Clubs, Resorts, and Hotel Takeovers are all excellent alternatives, especially if going as an M/F couple. Just be sure to do your homework first, before going. Cruises can be a good choice, but again, do your research. There is literally no way out if you get there and do not like it. (Stuck on a boat for x# days.) Some people like online sites like SLS, SDC, etc. (SLS is excellent for club listings, BTW.) There are so many to webs to choose from (for posting a profile), it can get a bit overwhelming in the beginning. Again, find out if they have a focus that suits you. ... Some people think online sites are a colossal waste of time. So YMMV on that one. Patience goes a long way in the LS. Like most everything else, you typically get out of it what you put into it (energy-wise). It is a lot more fun telling good stories however, as opposed to the opposite. As for an education, or a better understanding of the Swing Lifestyle, this BBS is better than anything I know of.

Oh goodie…another single guy thinking swinging is about HIS dick!

People always want to make this so much harder than it needs to be: ASK THEM. Say something like "we really enjoyed meeting you and wanted to get to know you both better. Tell us about your style of play and interests in general". Either they will or they won't. Either way you will know what you need to know. Good luck.

Hi all, we just returned from a week at Hidden Beach. It's one of our favorite resorts. We try to spend a week there twice a year. Hidden beach is a nudist resort, so it's not officially a lifestyle resort but probably half or more of the time we have met similar interest people there. Usually, before dinner time, people meet at the large hot tub and hangout and visit. This trip a Canadian couple seemed really nice and as we talked about resorts and travel both couples figured out that some lifestyle activity would be of interest. They we had 5 more nights at the resort and they had two so we all had to move right along. Jeff suggested couples dinner dates where he would pick me up at our room and Rob would pick Sue up at their room to go to dinner. We would be at the nude restaurant but at different tables for two..... We really had a good time dining and both couples later went to the Moon Light Lounge separately to watch the 9 PM entertainment, dance, etc. Jeff and I went back to our room and Rob took Jeff's wife out to a beach bed but then that's another story. PS, I posted a couple of new pictures. I had worked really hard to diet and work get in better shape for Hidden Beach. When we were at Caliente last spring, we decided after seeing and meeting couples there, we had to up our game. Rob runs four days a week and lifts weights 3 day. Julie

We/I couldn't decide about doing it on her birthday or our wedding anniversary. Her favorite and his friend that he invited to party with her while she was away at his place without me and another guy we met online that she had good experiences with.. We set up a time for the party. Everyone arrived on time. We got the grill going and had a great cookout. It started as a "normal" get together with friends but everyone knew why they were there. There was no pressure. Things were flowing naturally. The more they drank the more they flirted with her and the more they flirted with her, and the more she drank, the hornier she was getting. I was getting anxious to get the party started but I wanted to let her decide when she was ready. She went inside and when she came out she had on her sexiest lingerie. I looked around nervously to see if any of the neighbors were outside. That was all it took. There was an awkward moment to decide who was going to go first or if we were all going to go together. Her favorite stood up and they walked into the house as the rest of us stayed at the picnic table. We all partied outside as if it was a normal cookout. I lost track of time. We were all having a good time eating and drinking. He came back outside without her. We all looked at each other. Who's next. The party flowed from there. She never came back outside. Everyone took a turn except me. I kept the party going outside. Her favorite took a second helping. Everyone was satisfied and they all treated me with respect.

I don’t want any man who is in more interested in himself than me. I think your best bet is your left hand not a woman.

Our first time was in a club. We met a couple and talked to them for a while. My wife was flirting with the other guy which was a big change as to how things had happened in the past. Actually they hadn't happened in the past. Don't know what changed her attitude, maybe it was just the right guy. His wife was attractive too so I was happy if anything were to go further. They asked if we wanted to go see what was going on in the back. My wife jumped up and said let's go. She kept making moves toward the other guy, several people standing around in the back so some close quarter maneuvering allowed my wife to rub her tits on the guys arm. We watched some of the goings on in the play area. I knew my wife was getting turned on. She finally maneuvered herself standing in front of the other guy. She reached back for my hand for some reassurance. I squeezed it and let it go. She turned and they started kissing. We ended up in a private room. I watched my wife pull his cock out and start giving him head. I felt a little sorry for the gal I was with because I was really just wanting to watch my wife. I was fucking as the guy with my wife was still eating her pussy. I heard her beg him to fuck her with that big hard cock. He climbed up and slowly eased into her commenting on how tight and wet she was. I can't say I felt anything but completely turned on. No jealousy or insecurity or any other big flood of any kind of negative emotions. Just excitement for me, love and happiness for her since it had been a bit of a struggle for us to get to that point. I wanted her to enjoy every minute of it and she did.

I'm a firm believer that the easiest path to any swinging scenario is through having couples as swinging friends. When you have that, all sorts of combinations open up and you are already well past the starting line since you know that there is already attraction and chemistry there. I don't think it would be selfish as long as you are willing to return the favor for them sometime, which I'm sure you would be. Whether they decide they want to try a gangbang too, or a threesome, or whatever other way you all can help each other out. Back to point number one, I will bet your no-show rate on single guys is going to be way way higher than with guys who are already part of a swinging couple. That's the drawback that first comes to mind. Sorry, can't help you with the DVP and condoms question. That one is still on my bucket list.

I'm new on the forum, but I will pitch in on this one. One person mentioned a medical survey on average penis size. I have a great article on the subject, including ethnic variations. It is based on a number of reliable medical surveys. All are non-self measured and non-self reported as they should be and arousal methods vary, so it gives a very good overview of average and ranges of both length and thickness. Level of arousal at any given time can and will affect results and the article covers this too. The surveys agree quite closely and the overall average consensus ("white/caucasian and all others" except Black and Asian) is 5.5", with the range between different study averages being 5.1" to 5.8". Length is correctly measured by non-contact or "just touching" methods with the penis erect and straight out from the torso, along the top surface from tip to belly. (The "insertable length"). Thickness is measure at mid shaft (so either end could be larger or smaller depending on shape) and it measured as DIAMETER, not circumference. Measurement of circumference is unreliable due to the methods available and usually yields exaggerated values. (That's why you see so many men advertising "thickness" with circumference - it sounds big! Plus it gives no real idea of actual size.) Also note that all those stupid photos with beer cans and other crap are usually exaggerations and erroneously measure from half way down their balls!! I think some of them must stick the end of the rule up their ass! Regarding ethnic variations, medical studies and the WHO all recognize only 3 groups. "Black" "Asian" and "White/Caucasian and all others". Interestingly the AVERAGE Black penis is actually slightly shorter (but the range and shape of the "bell" curve is different - so yes, the "BBC" is only a partial myth, there are percentagewise more of them than in other groups - but to maintain the average, the converse is also true) and the AVERAGE Asian penis it shorter still (sorry guys). But the averages all fall within 4.5 to 5.5" and there is a huge overlap between the groups. AVERAGE thickness variation by ethnic groups is slightly different, with Asian still smallest, but Black largest. In fact the WHO recommendations for standard condom sizes worldwide are based on that. The article also covers things like the micro-penis (under 3" and a real medical term) and some information on sexual preferences, etc. This information is of course only a small synopsis so don't go jumping to any massive conclusions or get all upset. If anyone wants a copy PM me or may be I can post it on here somewhere? There is no copyright on it. BTW: In all groups, the median (midpoint of the range) is larger than the average so there are more smaller than average than larger than average. So all you 4-5"ers are right in there with most. It also means that in all groups the "bell curve" is slewed - less bigger ones than smaller ones. One other thing to note is that gaining weight will shorten the measured size of your penis, however the actual organ itself remains the same - just partial buried so to speak. But it's the exposed "insertable" length that counts - maybe another good reason to loose those extra pounds!! (And for the record I guess I'm partial blessed at 7.25-7.5" erect depending on arousal but a bit thinner than average.) I hope this is of some help and interest.

We find that splitting the differences in our ages and watching for mid 40's couples occasionally works for us. MFM is too easy to arrange with new men, so it seems so we vary rarely swing that way as it is too difficult too check the man out reliably. FMF is really difficult to arrange, as meeting a single new women has not worked for us. The exceptions are that we have 3 couples we are long term good friends with. If one 1/2 a couple is out of town, etc., the other couples will invite the single for MFM or FMF if going out. Rob is a professional but has outside jobs that keep him really active. I have good coffee shop managers so with a bit of notice, I try to travel with him as entertainment director and entertainment. He run/jogs 4 days a week (outside routes in good weather and on the machines in bad) and does weight training 3 days of the week, so He's is in better physical shape than most men we know. He always mumbles something about using it or losing it, so he uses it a lot (LOL). Going to a couple of lifestyle clubs and clothes optional resorts, liking them and then returning much more often did result in both Rob and I upping our games with regard to being in shape, watching diets, tanning, etc. Julie

I met my fiance online on a traditional site two years ago. I was able to communicate in my profile that I wanted a relationship that had a swinging component. Over the last two years we have joined a swinging site that we quickly abandoned and attended a couple of clubs. I have felt like, at times, that we weren't on the same page in what we wanted. My desire was to have the kind of relationship that I've seen other couples have that I had played with as a single male. I'm not naive, I realized that it would take some time, communication and a strong foundation to get there. Being over 50 I put it all out there and told this woman that I had certain expectations, I was very detailed in how I saw a relationship progressing and I was certainly open to anything she wanted in a relationship including marriage if my needs and desires were willingly and enthusiastically met. The first year was devoted to building the relationship and talking about the possibilities. Like I said we joined a site and quickly abandoned that having recognized that we weren't ready and the online thing is kind of overwhelming. Going into the second year we visited an on premise club a few times. The first time was fun with ourselves. Another time she let a guy touch her a little while she blew me. After that it was disastrous. Nothing happened on several occasions and I was blaming her. I felt like she didn't want to do this. It has caused some tension to say the least. We recently talked about trying again and we went out on a recent Saturday: Saturday morning M(my fiance) made a couple comments about feeling turned on, teased me a little but told me I had to wait til we went out. She even made some Jello shots for us to take along. She wore a lace Teddy with a skirt and a sweater. Her tits were barely covered. She wore her gold Jimmy Choos and she knew she looked hot. We got there early, about 9:30 and several couples were already there. We sat down fairly close to another couple. We'll call them H and R. I tried talking to them a couple of times, tried making eye contact with H. H was a cute blonde, curvy. R was a regular guy. No Ken and Barbie but easy on the eyes. She was probably late 40s he maybe a little older nearly identidal to our ages. Responses were short and glances were quick though. There didn't seem to be a lot of interest. B and E walked in and asked if anyone was sitting next to us. B was a decent looking guy, Emily was of Asian descent, maybe Filipino. I'd say both mid 40s. They were carrying several bottles including a bottle of Tito's. M, my fiance immediately said sure, anyone with a bottle of Tito's was welcome to join. The sweater hadn't come off yet because it was actually kind of chilly since the place wasn't full yet. We talked to B and E for a while, M was relaxed and flirting a little. She even asked about them, how often they came, what they were in to, stuff like that. They were into anything basically and asked about us. M just said we were still figuring that out but open to most anything. At one point B noticed, no he had already noticed, he mentioned M's tits looking good. I think he actually said something about the girls wanting to come out to play. We talked a little more and they got up to walk around. M was feeling good. By this time the club was filling up and the seating was limited. I had noticed a couple about our age standing outside of our little area. We had a corner with a couple of seats left. M was getting warm and had taken off the sweater. She got up to go to the bathroom. I told her to let that couple know that we had a little room by us. She did and they came and sat down. This was E and K. E was a tall guy nothing special in the way of looks, almost a little dorky. K was a knockout. Very fit, straight shoulder length blonde hair, great smile. She was wearing tight black pants and a kind of leather bustier that showed of a great slim figure. M came back sat down and we talked to E and K for a while. Not much in the way of flirting. M mentioned how hot K was but it just didn't seem like it was going anywhere. We would find out soon why. B and E came back, left again, came back. Each time they would leave M would tell them something like "hurry back!". She had a Jello shot and made a show of sucking it out of the cup for B. He commented on her skills and she asked for some of his Tito's to finish cleaning the cup out. I was really liking the flirting that was going on. We talked to them for a while and tried to involve E and K but they didn't seem interested. E & K soon excused themselves and headed to the back to see, they said, if anything was happening. We talked to B and E some more and B asked if we would like to walk to the back to check things out and see if anything was happening yet. M, to my surprise, just about jumped up and said sure, lets go see. We walked in the back near to what we knew to a private room with a just a King sized bed in it. There were a few people standing around inside and B said there was a St. Andrews cross in there. M didn't know what that was so I quickly explained it to her and she wanted to go see it. She likes being tied up. We walk in and there is E sitting on the bed and K is tied up to the cross by the hands facing out with a scarf over her face. She is completely nude and her body is even hotter naked. Some woman was playing with her a little and she left. M and E both stepped up and started touching her. M licked and sucked her tits. B asked E if only the girls were allowed to play and he said no anyone could. B stepped up and touched her all over. He started rubbing her pussy and she loved it. He stuck a finger in her and I think he was able to make her squirt. After that, E squatted down, put her legs on her shoulders and ate her out. I finally got a chance to touch her. Her tits felt amazing so I licked and sucked them a little while E was eating her. I turned around and M had made her way over by B. We walked out together and went to the Voyeur room area. The Voyeur room is a sunken den with a railing just wide enough for two couples to stand and watch. There are some couches and a big bed in the actual area. As we walked up to the rail M had maneuvered her way in front of B. She reached back for my hand for some reassurance. I squeezed it and let go. B leaned into her a little and M reached back to feel him. He turned her around and they started kissing. E had pulled me closer so she could feel my hard cock on her ass. I turned her around and started kissing her. She wasn't too much into the kissing. M was really in to kissing B. (Kissing was something we had had several discussions on. I like kissing and she does too. She was afraid of that it first but we agreed it was an integral part of getting turned on so eventually decided it was OK, we would give the green light and revisit it at an appropriate time if it bothered either one of us.) During the "making out" M was making all the right noises that told me she was getting really turned on. She reached up and put one hand on the back of his head, a sure sign she wanted more. She likes it aggressive once she gets going. B saw E and K leaving the private room and asked if we should go grab it. M and E both said Yes! We get in the private room and close the door. B grabs M and they start kissing again. Keep in mind, all this time I'm busy with E but that's really not what I was focused on then or writing about now. E starts unbuttoning my jeans and I see M doing the same thing with B. M pulls B's cock out, squats down and starts licking him then sucking him. I hear her tell him at one point he's got a really big cock and she can't wait to feel it inside of her. By this time E is sucking me and it's honestly all I can do not to cum because I'm so turned on watching M. I had to stop E several times. She kept pulling me in wanting me to fuck her face. I would make a few strokes and then I'd have to stop. M stood up and climbed up on the bed and asked B how he wanted her. B dove in and started eating her pussy. She gets really turned on giving head and she likes receiving for a bit but then she just wants penetration. At this point M was so turned on she wanted B to fuck her. She asked him a couple of times to fuck her and he finally got the message. I had been eating Emily's pussy. I stuck a finger in her and made her squirt. B had tried to make M squirt as he was licking her pussy, she got close but she's never squirted before. I think she's embarrassed by it and doesn't want to make a mess. E eventually hands me a condom signalling she's ready to fuck. I start fucking her but I'm really more focused on M at this point. E's pussy is really tight and I'm fighting off cumming too quick so I pull out and restart several times. I actually apologized to E later when we went back out to the main area and got a drink. I explained to them it was our first swap and I was really worked up. Anyway, M is just about begging B to put his big, hard cock in her and fuck her. He puts a condom on, enters her and I think she had her first orgasm almost immediately. B was really aggressive the way M likes. She kept telling him to give it to her, fuck her harder. After hearing this for several minutes can't take it anymore and get my nut with E. I hear M orgasm again. Feeling bad about E, I go down on her for a bit but then she rolls over and starts sucking M's tits. B tells E to rub M's clit. Robert keeps talking about how tight M's pussy is and even says he can feel her pushing him out so he knows she might be wanting to squirt. I'm still hard so I crawl up on the bed closer to M and start kissing her and telling her how hot it all is. She tells me she wants my cock in her mouth. So...M is sucking my cock and licking my balls while B is fucking her and E is sucking her tits and rubbing her clit. M cums again. B asks how many times she's cum and she says three. He tells her he's going to make her cum again and he's going to cum with her. She enthusiastically said "go for it". She cums again and so does he. He pulls out, puts a couple fingers in her and I see her squirt all over his hand. Fucking AWESOME! We get up, get dressed and M is completely cool. She's laughing about finding clothes talking about getting a good fucking, everything I had hoped for. We get back out to where we walk out and I ask her if she's OK. She assured me she's fine and she obviously enjoyed it. She tells me that B had a really big cock and that she liked the way he fucked her. She seems all good with it. She Still does several days later. We went back out and sat down. H gets friendly all of a sudden. She asks if we had fun and M immediately says Yes! We start talking with them. R is kind of quiet but H is now a bundle of energy. She comes and sits next to M. They are brand new. Only their third time out to a club since November. they're not sure of their swapping situation. They've had one soft swap but said they would be willing to full swap if they found the right couple that let them move at their pace. M told H some of our history and that we just had our first full swap. They talk some more. R is kind of joining the conversation but not situated where I can talk to him very well but he is listening to M and H. B and E come out and sit down. Like I said, I kind of apologized to them and explained why. They were excited about being our first. We talked some more. They got up and went to the back again. H and R got up and went to the back for a few minutes. They came back, sat down and said B and E were on one of the open beds with E and K. B is a fucking machine apparently. We talked some more. H said she wanted to go back again and see what else was going on and asked us if we wanted to go. We ended up at the rail at the voyeur room again just watching. We watched a several couples and a pair of threesomes were going on. The semi private beds were all taken so we just watched everything A pair of couples got done on the semi private beds. H had expressed an interest in the bed but obviously wanted it cleaned up. Someone came right away and changed the sheets. They walked over and grabbed the bed. By this time M's feet were hurting in those Jimmy Choo stilletos so We sat down in a couple of chairs for a minute. M said she had hoped they might invite us to join but they didn't make any gestures or anything so we went back out and started gathering stuff up and talked about waiting for them to finish so we could at least tell them bye and maybe get a number. About the time M sits down she says "oh, There's R, he's motioning for us to come back" We go back and get on the bed with them. M tells me she just wants me to fuck her to finish of the night. We fuck while H and R fuck right next to us. M tells me she still likes my cock best and loves me more than anything but she really did have fun. We finish up. Get dressed, go out and sit down and the lights come on. It's 3am! We walk out, H asks when we'll be back and says they'd like to see us again. M tells them she is going out of town, and probably won't have another chance to get out again for several weeks. H seems disappointed but m asks for H's phone number and tells her she'll be in touch. They texted on the way home telling M how much they enjoyed meeting us and they hope we can meet again when she gets back because we are the kind of couple they have been hoping to meet. So, that's about it. It was a good night. We've fucked several times and M has mentioned something about that night almost every time. It really turns her on. I really hope this wasn't the best it gets. It almost seemed to be too perfect. I know they won't all be like this but I don't want all the next times to be anti climactic to this.

Call me boring all you like lol but good old missionary is my no.1 Next is cowgirl and doggy.

Every person/couple in the lifestyle shares a common experience: we began. The "why, what, and how" is unique for each person and each couple, but the act of taking that first step binds us together. The anxieties are predictable, the concerns heartfelt, and the physical/spiritual/emotional tensions all surface. Looking back, the angst is not about sex, it's about intimacy. Looking back, the angst is not about 'dating', it's about 'relating'. Looking back, the angst is not about what we do, it's about who we are--and who we aspire to become. That step forward into the lifestyle, at least for couples, is all about the foundation of their relationship, the meaning of sex(ual exclusivity), why they (we) chose to live our lives together. Candidly, that's really scary territory for many couples. Surely it was for us. Yet we began. We began our journey into "alternative lifestyles" with our first trip to a nude resort, now more than two decades ago. Exposed. Vulnerable. That, in fact, is the root of the angst. That by joining an alternative lifestyle--nudism, swinging, whatever--that somehow will place your relationship with your partner at risk. It is a common refrain that swinging exposes every fault in a relationship, and yet those who stay in the lifestyle are stronger for it. Swinging does not expose the faults--the faults (we all have them) were there and simply expressed differently. Why is "beginning" a courageous act? Why do vanillas say "I would never be so brave with our relationship?" Remember the wisdom of Thucydides, "The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it." Those who begin in the lifestyle have bravely done the hard work of introspection--not of themselves but of the relationship with their partner. What does that relationship mean, what do I bring to it, what does my partner bring to it. Some who step forward will step back. Others who step forward will continue. Yet all who take that first step, become 'newbies'-- they have earned our respect. They have asked themselves what they mean to each other with greater clarity, requiring greater transparency, and have started to find answers. What surprises so many newbies, yet us utterly unsurprising to those who have been in LS for a while, is the degree to which couples "fall in love with each other all over again". Why that should be is a topic for another time.

Good observation. ... And Welcome! What I find the most attractive about what I've learned here (on SB.com) is the confidence in the partnerships. That a couple can feel so secure about their relationship, they are comfortable breaking the barrier of commonly held social taboos, and exploring the limits of physical fun... that includes others outside their relationship. Try starting a thread of your own. Ask questions, share your experience, whatever. Most folks are here, reading and posting, for the very same reasons your are. Enjoy the journey. ;-)

We don't use the term gang bang we use club rub! Much nicer connotation!

Nobody will usually try to make anyone do something that they are not interested in. Just let them know that your wife isn't interested in girl/girl play and I don't think she will have any problems. Most of the time everyone will get there, talk some, and then someone will either suggest a game or just start underssing to get the ball rolling (but sometimes everyone is waiting for everyone else to start and things can stall out). I would assume that the couple hosting who already knows everyone would take the lead here. You may want to ask who the other couples are so you can read their profiles and see if there is any interest and you can get to know them better remotely. In my experience, house gifts are optional but appreciated. Let us know how things go.

It is like any new encounter with the opposite sex. What does she like? Will it stay hard? Will I get off too fast? Will I get her off? add the element of the same room and your other half is having a blast: Stay focused on my play partner Do not blow a nut hearing my other half get off, before my play partner is ready Enjoy hearing her enjoy herself All in all it is nervous good time with the extra element of something new while something you love an know being in the same room.

Step 1: get out of your abusive marriage. Step 2: Have sex with other people. Do not try these in reverse order.

Some of my friends and I are all headed for Swinger Hell together. At a weekend getaway, several of us toddled up the stairs of the B&B to our rooms. Some folks were tired, some were inebriated, and some of us were feeling frisky. I'd gotten an invite from "Mr. Winters" to join him in his room. Mr. Sweet was practically comatose, but I passed the request on to him, fully expecting a negative response. He said, "That's fine, go have fun." I asked him at least three times if he was sure, and got the same response each time. So I started upstairs, only to be stopped by Mr. Winters again. Mrs. Winters was also a victim of the Sand Man, but did not wish to interfere with our fun. So Mr. Winters and I decided she could crash in my room with Mr. Sweet, who was already asleep. So we headed upstairs, and proceeded to have a round of mind-blowing sex. We were almost finished, when the couple in the room next door wandered in. "Mr. Moon" announced that he has worn the wife out, but could still use some assistance. Without breaking stride, I told Mr. Moon that I'd be happy to help him out--after Mr. Winters and I finished what we were doing. Mr. and Mrs. Moon commenced playing with each other while they waited for Mr. Winters and me to finish. Mr. Winters had barely rolled off the bed before Mr. Moon took his place. Mr. Winters returned from the restroom, but was having trouble finding room on HIS bed, so I suggested to the Moons that we head to their room. Once we finished there, I had to sneak back into Mr. Winter's room to get my clothes (and try not to wake him), then go downstairs to my room and wake his wife up and send her to her own room. We're looking to see if they'll give us a group discount on our hand baskets . . . =)

I think any playmate that gives me a hicky, where I can't hide it, should go to Swinger Hell. It has happened to me. Won't happen again!