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We went to Ottawa last weekend to hang out with our friends. We went to dinner, toured the ice sculptures and ate beavertails at Winterlude, and of course, made good use of the two double beds in our room. When we checked in, the manager happened to be standing there. He sounded friendly, but there was no smile. One might even say he was glaring at us. "That's one night stay, with two double beds?" Hard stare. At Mr. intuition, that is. He wouldn't look at me. "Yep, that's right." "Can you please sign here, and write the names of the people staying in the room?" Uh...what? Maybe that's normal, but I can't remember having to do that before. Pft. Whatever. Fuck you, dude. Us old farts are the least of your worries, or do you not realize what sort of freaky shit goes on in your hotel?? We are ordinary people, having ordinary sex. You won't be scraping anything off the walls or ceiling, okay? Anyway, other than the judgmental dick front desk manager, we had a lovely time making a proper mess of the hotel room. Fuck you, buddy.

The names of the people staying in the room. 1. Dick Gozinya 2. Connie Lingus 3. Mike Hawk 4. Ivanna Mandic

Was that like a Motel 6 or a better brand?? If it was a privately owned franchise hotel rather than one managed by the chain, it might explain the attitude. We had a similar experience at a Hampton Inn that we had used regularly. Hampton has a policy of honoring legitimate complaints by comping the night. We used the hotel because of its proximity to a swingers club. Unfortunately, the hotel was also close to a rather seedy neighborhood and had begun to let the upkeep sink to close to the level of the neighborhood and they began to permit conduct that would normally not be acceptable in a Hilton brand. After our third complaint about noise (faulty ac unit and drunks roaming the halls at 3:00 am), dirty rooms, and a non functioning shower we were told by the manager that we were no longer welcome to stay there. When we contacted Hilton Honors we were told that the Hampton in question was not company owned, we received an apology, several thousand reward points and a weekend voucher to any US Hilton hotel. Now, when we go to that club, we stay at a HI Express a few miles away that IS company owned and we've never had a complaint about the hotel. Prior to this, we thought that if the hotel bore the name of a big brand that it was run by that brand. Oh well, live and learn.

We started out with quite a few rules, but pared them down over time. At this point, it's just a couple: 1. We're fucking not making love 2. Condoms for penetration 3. She's never alone with another man she doesn't know WELL (Angel totally zones out and can't remember what happened once she's aroused. It's for her safety). 4. No anal. Quite frankly, if a couple has a "no kissing" rule, we generally pass. Too difficult not to break that one, and it's important to both of us. Angel often doesn't know if she wants to fuck a guy before she kisses him, and that may make or break it...

Every person/couple in the lifestyle shares a common experience: we began. The "why, what, and how" is unique for each person and each couple, but the act of taking that first step binds us together. The anxieties are predictable, the concerns heartfelt, and the physical/spiritual/emotional tensions all surface. Looking back, the angst is not about sex, it's about intimacy. Looking back, the angst is not about 'dating', it's about 'relating'. Looking back, the angst is not about what we do, it's about who we are--and who we aspire to become. That step forward into the lifestyle, at least for couples, is all about the foundation of their relationship, the meaning of sex(ual exclusivity), why they (we) chose to live our lives together. Candidly, that's really scary territory for many couples. Surely it was for us. Yet we began. We began our journey into "alternative lifestyles" with our first trip to a nude resort, now more than two decades ago. Exposed. Vulnerable. That, in fact, is the root of the angst. That by joining an alternative lifestyle--nudism, swinging, whatever--that somehow will place your relationship with your partner at risk. It is a common refrain that swinging exposes every fault in a relationship, and yet those who stay in the lifestyle are stronger for it. Swinging does not expose the faults--the faults (we all have them) were there and simply expressed differently. Why is "beginning" a courageous act? Why do vanillas say "I would never be so brave with our relationship?" Remember the wisdom of Thucydides, "The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it." Those who begin in the lifestyle have bravely done the hard work of introspection--not of themselves but of the relationship with their partner. What does that relationship mean, what do I bring to it, what does my partner bring to it. Some who step forward will step back. Others who step forward will continue. Yet all who take that first step, become 'newbies'-- they have earned our respect. They have asked themselves what they mean to each other with greater clarity, requiring greater transparency, and have started to find answers. What surprises so many newbies, yet us utterly unsurprising to those who have been in LS for a while, is the degree to which couples "fall in love with each other all over again". Why that should be is a topic for another time.

The answer is simple - have an MFM and let the other guy cum in your wife first, you can eat her out while still in the mood, then you can take sloppy seconds. Everyone's a winner - the other guy will be happy, you'll be so wound up excited you'll accomplish your goal, and your wife will have three orgasms. As for us in our poly family, the women will deliberately eat another girl's sloppy pussy because we're all bi, and well, we all like cum. The guys are bi and don't want to lick cum, but if they will go down on us afterwards.

Those are some good ones...I'm kind of jealous lol

I've never met a guy, in real life, who doesn't find the difference in sensation between wearing a condom and going raw significant. You, my friend, are in the minority. Condoms are clearly a necessary evil, but when couples find that elusive FWB couple in the lifestyle, I completely understand why they would forgo using them. I don't know who dislikes them more, my wife or myself?