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In the early days of the HIV epidemic, there was no effective treatment. The development of highly active antiretroviral therapy ("HAART") transformed the infection from "uniformly fatal" to chronic and indolent. The central result is the reduction in "viral load", basically the concentration of virus particles in the blood. Contemporary therapy can reduce the viral load to the (lower) limit of detection and beyond. The patient is not cured, and not infection free. So if the patient has been consistent about taking the medication, the viral load can remain low. Unfortunately, even modest interruptions in HAART therapy can predispose to the appearance of resistant virus. The problem, then, is that we live in an imperfect world, and populated by imperfect humans. In theory, really effective treatment can reduce the risk of transmission during sex to near zero. In practice, no matter how low the risk, the use of a condom will substantially further reduce that risk. There is no such thing as "safe sex". There is "safer sex". Part of that is going to be adherence to antiviral therapy; part of that will be use of commonsense barrier precautions (condoms). As a health care professional, I have cared for hundreds of HIV+ patients. Their lives are irrevocably altered by the infection. I suspect every one would tell you that they wish an ounce of prevention had replaced pounds and pounds of cure. In my view, and not knowing precisely what was said or claimed in the unreferenced Swedish announcement, public health officials should not and must not downplay risk of infection when effective and inexpensive preventative measures are available. That goes for all sorts of infections, not just HIV.

There are internal and external factors. Internally, state of mind, stress-relaxation, other discomforts,alcohol--the list goes on. Externally, what is happening in all five senses, and the pace of stimulation. We have one essential toy: the rechargeable cordless Hitachi Magic Wand. It travels with us (take note American Express: "we don't leave home without it"), is always charged in the nightstand etc. (We are on our second; one was absent-mindedly left in a hotel room in Santa Fe, that's another story...) When Mrs. FL wants some extra stimulation--it fits neatly between us on her clit--and is utterly reliable--she cums and cums.) Yes, we have many other toys. But this is the essential one. Interestingly, among the female half of LS couples we have met recently, one keeps a rechargeable cordless Hitachi under her pillow, and the other also in her nightstand. Not cheap, but absolutely the best dollars we have ever spent on sex stuff.

We talked about looking on different sites. My husband said just look for couples on this site. I figured how to do a search on here and read posts by people on here. Most posts but not all are by men. Some are just too out there. We have only played with a couple we met on vacation and then people they knew. We never went looking. I reached out and wrote to someone. Things moved fast. I was hoping not rushing. A few emails. Pictures. Thankfully no sex pictures. That would have killed any chance of us meeting them. I insisted verifying with talking to the wife. They were agreeable to separate rooms. I also said for me it’s more than sex. I need to take it slow. It went quickly to meeting them for drinks with the idea of spending a night in a hotel if we clicked. We almost had to cancel because we had a bad storm. We called and we agreed to chance the weather. There was flooding and down trees. The place we met was pretty empty. We spoke for three hours. They are an in shape couple. We laughed and told stories about how we met others. She’s on a cheaters site and only meets married men. Thought it was strange but the way she explained it made sense. I knew there was a hotel very close. With the bad weather it was easy to get rooms. We decided to get two adjoining rooms. It worked.

As I have previously posted, that's what happened to my older sister, and for that reason I've stuck to my fingers. Clair and Lora sometimes use dildos, but not vibrators.

Hell no! On those occasions when the guy's been too quick or I haven't cum for some reason (usually because I was accommodating something he wanted to do), he had better be willing to lick me/eat me even if there's semen leaking out of my vagina. If he cums while I'm giving oral, I smile roll it around my mouth and swallow; he better be damn sure willing to taste some semen for my pleasure. Fortunately, our guys in our poly family will do so, even if it's one of the other fellow's. They're not gay, but well trained.

This was a big issue for us too in the beginning. After much discussion and strategizing, we deciding that if it ever did happen there would really be nothing to be embarrassed about. They are there for the exact same reason that you are. They’d probably respect you more. And yes, mutually assured destruction will ensure that no one else will hear about it.

There is another thread currently running on this site entitled "First consensual sex age," where people have responded giving the age at which they first had sex. What struck me was that most said it was anywhere from crappy to just OK. Thinking about it, well yeah - no surprise. Just about anything we do the first time isn't that great, even if you become great at it later on. Think about it: riding a bike, swimming, kicking a soccer ball, we were pretty bad at it and it wasn't much fun the first several times. Sex is the same way: you have to learn the skills, what to to and what not, develop proficiency. Waiting and not doing doesn't make it any easier later - just read some of those articles about women (and men) who waited until they were married at 25 to have sex - things don't work out. I don't have the magic answer, but I'm beginning to think along the lines, "What is the best age to make your first mistakes and learn?" And "by developing proficiency" I don't mean being a sex worker in training, I mean proficiency in knowing yourself, what you want and how to deal with people. That's the message young women especially need to get, you do what you want with whom you want to do it. You can be taken advantage of by another 15 year-old boy (or girl) as easily as a 35 year old man (or woman). Parents can help by allowing semi-supervised sexual activities to take place at their home: at younger ages, be there in another room so that feeling, fondling, petting can take place without full intercourse, and it's easy for either of them to put a stop to anything that's uncomfortable by drawing attention to themselves or just getting up.

Then the two of you should both be working on helping her fix the self image problems instead of her fixing something that very few ever get to see. If her greatest self-perceived body 'issue' is her labia and this is what is causing her low self esteem...well there are other bigger issues here. BTW, we've never seen a labia that we didn't like.

It was this past weekend. Wind, rain, flooding and downed power lines. Mother Nature’s fury and beauty. The other couple is on this board. I want to wait to post details. I tried not show my fear of meeting and jumping into bed a short time later. I told my husband and he told me.

I was 17, my gf 16, both virgins, we stayed 4 years together. We started right after our final exams of the Fall session. My parents had bought a house that was 10 minutes away walking from the high-school. In the Winter session (Jan. to May), she failed 5 out of 7 classes, I failed 6 out of 7....lol...both my parents worked and the house was ours from 8 am to 6 pm. It was great!