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My wife and I got into the lifestyle recently, about last six months. We did a ton of research. Actually, this forum helped to answer many questions we had before we ultimately decided to jump in. Jump in we did. We made a couple of profiles on free sites, and began talking to some couples online. At first, we really didn't know what we wanted, other than to spice up our sex lives. The first couple we spoke with, in hindsight, was pretty aggressive. I won't go into details, but we ended up hooking up with them on a first date after a few weeks of very flirtatious chatting. They ended up being a little too different from us. After a couple of other dates with different couples, we realized that we were looking for friends with benefits. I mean, we're not club people, and sex parties never sounded appealing to us, but we still wanted to bang other couples together! The only other couple we've hooked up with since we got into the lifestyle, seem to be what we were looking for. We made a good first impression, and on the second date, we made it to the bedroom with them. It started a little rough, and not in a good way. I had some performance issues the first time with her, but those have since been resolved. We chat with them on a regular basis(several days per week), and we've seen them several times since our first vanilla meeting. My wife and I, are looking forward to continuing to build our relationship with these two. They are good people, and I'm happy to call them friends. Friends that have a good time together on a king size bed, banging each other's spouses! All that said, I don't know how big of a part we will play in this couple's lives, but we're going to ride the wave till the end. Why not, it'll be fun while it lasts!

Congratulations! You have clearly described a common pathway in the LS. From the outside looking in (aka vanillas, interesteds, just about to dip the toe, breathless reporters,.. )the LS is all about sex. That's what is talked about, envied, disparaged, ... From the inside looking out, the LS is all about your primary relationship with your spouse or S/O, and how that journey unfolds. For a few in the LS, it really is "all about sex". For many others, it is about building relationships with like-minded couples. The friendship piece really does matter. Trust, intimacy, honesty in a space where no one is embarrassed to be having fun\. Compare that to the issues of ordinary life.

I am sure lube was used. And my wife toughed it out. But it was not comfortable. For a male, what do you do when you get a toothy and rough bj? It’s hard to give directions,but one can try. With a big penis, he can’t shrink it.

The more I think about it the moreI wanna try it. Had a good talk with the wife last night and this morning over breakfast. I feel my apprehensions fading the more we discuss it. We agreed not to hold anything against each other and to stop if either one of us is uncomfortable. I've read swinging with friends can bring drama. They are great friends and would remain that way regardless of what happens. I believe that is my biggest concern. However we've already opened Pandora's box somewhat, and Im kinda anxious to see what's inside. We already had a really active sex life, but playing has amped it up to 10. I've always been a thrill seeker, into racing and extreme sports, so I feel I'm built for this. So hoping all goes well next weekend. Thanks for the advice.

I have never gone past four fingers. No woman I have ever met has ever made it past four fingers. The fourth finger starts to get a little uncomfortable.

Well, there’s the method used by this cowboy buddy of mine. He walked into a bar the other night and happened to see this good looking young lady sitting alone at the bar. He walked up and sat down on the stool beside her without saying a word, he just gave her a warm smile and a nod of his hat before diverting his attention back to his watch. As he was totally focused on his watch the young lady kept taking furtive glances in his direction, attempting to figure out what he was doing. Finely curiosity got the best of her, “excuse me, I don’t mean to pry but would you mind telling me what you’re doing?” With a warm smile he replied, “oh it’s nothing really, I’ve just got this hi-tech watch and I’m testing it out. It telepathically communicates with people near me and relays that information back to me.” The young lady was now intrigued, “that’s fascinating, did it tell you anything about me.” The cowboy replied with a sheepish smile, “yes mam it did, it said that you weren’t wearing any panties.” The young lady chuckle as she replied, “well I hope you didn’t pay too much for that watch because it’s giving you faulty information.” The cowboy feverishly goes through the functions on the watch for a few moments before stating, “Oh here’s the problem, the damn things an hour fast.”

We have never thrown one but have been to a few and your concerns are well valid. It can be tough if you are not comfortable, perhaps a little shy. I have the luxury of a attractive wife so she attracts couples right away. A great door opener. I am not a "dog" but it makes life easier when they come to you. We usually start by chatting about travel,etc... and then if there is the energy we may play. Other couples get right to it while others are reserved.

Not failure, really. More like rejection. The problem is that failure convolved with rejection begins to feel like abandonment. Of course, it is not. Declining any offer can make the the person offering feel awkward or even bad. This is why social graces matter. "No, thank you." feels different from "no". "What a flattering invitation! We truly appreciate it. However, no thanks." feels a lot different than "no". The grace is to decline the offer while thanking the person.

The wife and I have been here a few times and always had a great time. This last time was for the Valentines party and was it packed!! We got there around 10pm so the only tables left were in the smoking section back by the pool table . Anyway, they had a mix of music but played WAY too much hip hop for my taste . Around midnight we moved to the "play" area that has several beds (attendant changes sheets), 3 beds with large viewing windows, a sex chair, a clit vibrating saddle, a HUGE multi-couple beanbag chair and a sex swing, The swing was free so I immediately took the wife to it and undressed her. Now, we are new to swinging so she just allows me to fuck her in front of others on the back beds so her fucking in the middle of the room on the swing was a BIG step. Anyway, I put her in the swing and she leaned all the way back where her head was pointing to the floor. I brought a lipstick vibrator and started to play with her clit while eating her out now and then and she was going crazy . People started to stand around us and I LOVE showing off her body. She has D size cups (man made) and a nice landing strip that I was showing everyone that wanted to see. A couple walked to the front of her and the woman leaned down telling her she was sexy and touching my wife's breast.....she didn't object and I could tell she was cumming. WOW, what a HUGE step. I then took her to one of the beds and fucked her till she came again along with me. WHAT A NIGHT!! We got home about 2am and hit the hay but the next day she said she got up around 6am so horny and used the vibrator again......I think she's starting to loosen up.....what you all think? Also, I highly recommend this place so if you're in SA you may want to stop by and have some fun

LOL....that is awesome!! Thanks for the input