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We often find cheaters making their way to SB with the misconception that swinging and cheating are synonymous. They are, in fact, diametrically opposed practices. Cheating is a selfish act that disrespects all parties, and is dishonest and hurtful. Swinging, in contrast, is when all parties are fully informed, respected/respectful, and consenting. This is why you'll find so many swingers opposed to - or even offended by - the idea of getting involved with someone who is being dishonest with their partner/spouse. They spend a lot of time and energy working on their relationship, fostering positive, honest communication, and they deeply value the integrity of that relationship. Frankly, for us, it's a turn-off to find out that we care more about a stranger's relationship than they do.

Some chick on Facebook was trolling in one of my groups, saying from now on she only wanted to date married men. Exclusively. And her rationale? So she could blackmail them for hush money. Okay, so yes - obvious bait - but the idea of this made me feel physically sick. I gave her some practical advice, and wished her luck. Does this kind of shit affect anyone else like this? I know, I should just brush it off and scroll on. But it just sort of underlined how massively shitty vanilla attitudes can be. I am SO glad that Mr. intuition and I figured out how to do non-monogamy. People think I'm BSing them when I tell them how good my relationship actually is. We're sadly abnormal that way.

The names of the people staying in the room. 1. Dick Gozinya 2. Connie Lingus 3. Mike Hawk 4. Ivanna Mandic

You had me think why? I will try to answer even though as I write I’m not sure. Our experiences are mostly positive. The first time we did this was in separate cabins on a ship. It was a great experience. I was alone with a man for the first time since I was married. The next day, that man who treated me life a lover now used me in front of his wife and my husband. I also watched my husband act differently with the other wife. The sex we had as two couples in the same room was completely different than I had with our new friend or with my husband. The new couple did nothing wrong. She is very pretty. I keep saying that is not the reason. I don’t have a real answer if it is why I felt strange watching. That is the reason I am asking other women how they feel. There is plenty on here with men’s feelings.

I didn't read all the other responses when I posted mine. I've gone back through and read them all now. luvin is telling you like it is. Others have told you that you need to talk to him about it. Do it. I know it feels like having that conversation may drive a wedge between the two of you but in all honesty your reluctance to talk about this with him is a bigger wedge that's already there.

We can only hope they fail and fail really well. We know that isn't the case, but we can hope. Cheating is the opposite of everything swinging is. Lies, deception and deceit instead of trust, honesty and love.

We have hosted several and like them very much as our house also lends itself to the lifestyle. One of the first things I learned though is put slip covers on all you nice furniture. Deb.

Hello, and welcome to the site. First, I doubt size matters like you think it does. There are many many aspects to pleasuring a woman that have nothing to do with penis size. Second, if you aren't able to honestly communicate about how you each feel about your sex life together, then I assure you swinging is not going to work out well for you. Good communication is the foundation upon which swinging is built, and if you don't have it yet, then that's what you need to focus 100% of your efforts on, improving the communication. Third, swinging and surprise are two words that should never be said together, so no, arranging something without her knowing is not a good idea. One, it goes back to the communication thing, since by their nature surprises don't involve two way communication, and second, doing something like you are suggesting is not showing much respect for your wife. If a couple are already experienced swingers then some sort of special surprise on something they have already proven they like and are into by their past actions, then that's one thing, but to hit someone cold with swinging, that's a good path to divorce. Just talk to her, and keep talking, and the answers will come.

Was that like a Motel 6 or a better brand?? If it was a privately owned franchise hotel rather than one managed by the chain, it might explain the attitude. We had a similar experience at a Hampton Inn that we had used regularly. Hampton has a policy of honoring legitimate complaints by comping the night. We used the hotel because of its proximity to a swingers club. Unfortunately, the hotel was also close to a rather seedy neighborhood and had begun to let the upkeep sink to close to the level of the neighborhood and they began to permit conduct that would normally not be acceptable in a Hilton brand. After our third complaint about noise (faulty ac unit and drunks roaming the halls at 3:00 am), dirty rooms, and a non functioning shower we were told by the manager that we were no longer welcome to stay there. When we contacted Hilton Honors we were told that the Hampton in question was not company owned, we received an apology, several thousand reward points and a weekend voucher to any US Hilton hotel. Now, when we go to that club, we stay at a HI Express a few miles away that IS company owned and we've never had a complaint about the hotel. Prior to this, we thought that if the hotel bore the name of a big brand that it was run by that brand. Oh well, live and learn.

You forgot "Mike Hunt"!

Yes, our daughter swings and our son does occasionally. We used to try and avoid being at the same parties but eventually gave up as it was difficult and inconvenient to keep it up. We all decided it was better to make a conscious decision that "they're my daugher/parents, they have sex, get over it". Now it's not even an issue.