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I have to laugh when I read a post like this. Do guys just like to ask questions? Does anyone have a clue how birth control works? As long as you take your BC as directed you can pour a bucket of semen in a woman, an egg isn’t going to be fertilized. The odds are the same whether you have sex once or many more times. It’s better than 99% effective

One more thing to add. On the subject of splitting up or sticking together, it really wouldn’t have mattered. The home was very small so we technically was together or could’ve split up. We just was not approached in any way by anyone.

Let’s back up before we get on the wrong tangent. Neither me nor my wife, got to play. We was the lame duck couple. Their was 3 couples we had met before at the same house party and a few new couples. I guess an eye for an eye their could have been an odd number of couples and we became the only couple to not have someone. I thought we for sure would have clicked with someone. It was a depressing situation as our ability to go to parties is stretched thin. Our last party we attended was 2nd weekend of January.

Swingersboard has no facility for searching geographically. That is intentional.

We like to have both of us play, also. A lot of couples and singles want to just do my wife while I eat coffee cake, but we “come” as a package deal.

njbm, Yeah, we've been in the situation where people wish to play with one person but not with the other. We actually had it happen both ways. Our rule was if both don't play, nobody plays. This could be modified on the fly, ("Yeah, go ahead honey, I'll be fine") but we always checked in regularly to make sure. It's not fun to be the left-out person.

Nights like that are rough, feeling left out, whether intentional or unintentional, is never fun. Was this group new to you but not to them? Maybe the others not only know each other better, but also have sort of a routine going? If that's the case, just be patient and give it time and let things evolve and soon you will feel that same level of comfort they do. The other idea is to play with each other right in among everyone else. No rule that you HAVE to swap to have sex, right? Having sex with each other in front of others is still very exciting, and in fact, can be awesome since you get the swinging vibe and excitement factor but don't have the "am I doing this right for him/her?" anxiety that goes with being with someone new.

You have two minority positions. Most women will play bi, most men will not, from our experience. The four way match is tough. I second playing with a single bi man.

Just getting 4 people together to have sex is difficult. Now add these stupid agenda items. I totally get where you are coming from. My wife, who I describe as a gay man, trapped in a woman's body has the same attitude about pussy. She tried it, didn't do anything for her, off the table. Through many discussions and compromises, we came to the conclusion that if I'm bi, and she loves dick but not pussy, then why bother having another woman present? With a single bi man, we can both get what we want and not have to try to deal with the seemingly impossible task of finding a compatible couple. Is it super important that you have another woman present?

Pro tip: Women don't care about cock pics, and they don't really care to see cock picks in general. If you could take a photograph of your personality it would go a lot farther.

Very common problem, I've tried to analyze this many times. I get hard with my wife ALL the time. I get SUPER hard with my wife when another man is introduced into the mix. but with other women I have a good erection probably only 30% of the time. I absolutely have to have a mental connection with the woman or there's a problem. Clubs are the WORST for me. One on one with a strange woman almost never works. I take Viagra, Yohimbine, DO NOT DRINK. it doesn't matter. If the brain is ready the penis will follow. For me, it's a matter of compartmentalizing my sexual function and trying to only be in situations that work for all involved.

Mr. Sexyhornycouple, most males on this site feel your pain. One never knows if it is going to work or not. We are older and most men have trouble performing at this stage. We've lately had fun with massaging, caressing, touching the other partner, then having sex with our own partners. It reduces worries about erections, disease transmission and pregnancy if premenopausal. My other suggestion is to swap at home, at a hotel or even in a separate room to avoid distractions and to keep focus. Most men have had this problem and I know how bad it feels. I've met some patient women and I commend those who are understanding.

Id like to comment on this post. I am one of the guys that struggles with this. I can get hard for my own wife without a problem, but, struggle with anyone different. It's incredibly heartbreaking to a guy and me. Especially since couples are hard to come by. The opportunity don't exist often. I thought alcohol might be the concern, but, we gave up drinking and the concern still exists. The problem is psychological. Clubs are challenging environments. Your put on the spot to perform. A new partner is a total mystery. You don't know her expectations. If she will enjoy you. Guys need to have confidence for their penis to work. If you can't relax, you won't get hard. It's hard to relax with new partners. I've even had my penis not get hard on cialis and Viagra. The scenario is a recipe for failure until a guy acquires the confidence. Some never do. I am afraid I won't either. I am getting to the point where I may no longer look for a female to play with. I'll just enjoy guys doing my wife. I never fail to get hard for this scenario. I hate this as I feel I am being left out. But the frustration of disappointing the lady is adding up. So, ladies please be understanding. You may be disappointed. But I bet not as much as the guy is. It is something he has to deal with long after your done playing.

I am a big supporter of Viagra and Cialis. One at a time, of course. I am also a proponent of kindness and sympathy to the guy with erection problems. It is a disappointing experience and a little kindness and patience often pays off in a revived member.

I'd say our experiences are similar to OPs, I don't think my wife has ever waited 10 minutes before changing partners though.

If you are talking about pregnancy, my experience is yes it would hold up. I've had multiple creampies on many occasions and haven't had any issues. Of course, STD is a different issue altogether so even if your wife is on the pill, you should choose your partners wisely if they are cumming inside her.