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Well, it depends on your rules, what the two of you together want. Certainly a subject you should discuss before you get there. Normally, at a club, my wife and I rarely played alone, and then only with specific permission. Normally, we'd find a couple. If that didn't work, we'd go off and have sex with ourselves. That in itself is pretty sexy. Every once in awhile, we'd find a guy for her and have an MFM threesome. (We weren't into FMF threesomes.) At clubs, it's assumed widely that you'll play together. But, what if she finds someone she wants to play with, and you don't? Well, either give her permission, or don't. Your choice. Like I said, this should be agreed beforehand. And if she has the permission to play solo, you should have it as well. Now these rules didn't apply to house parties, where we always assumed we'd split off. Totally different vibes in our experience.

When the kids were young teens, we'd leave them at home for a few hours while we'd have a date night. The first couple of times we came home the kids were still up and watching tv, the shep wanted attention and needed a walk, there were phone messages and dishes in the sink. The frisky mood dinner had instilled in my ex-wife rapidly dissipated and we'd end up going to bed dis-satisfied and not a little grumpy. So, one Friday night, after a really nice meal and a bottle of champagne (those bubbles were the only thing I ever discovered that nearly always made her clothes fall off). We pulled off on to a road leading to a clearing in a state game land. We kissed and laughed a bit and I got a couple of buttons undone on her blouse, enough to see a bit of boob encased in black lace. We played for a bit but the console of the 73 Grand Prix got in the way so I suggested the back seat. She quickly agreed (I was surprised) so I came around to the passenger door and opened it. She stood up and slipped into my arms and we started to kiss. I ran my hand up under the back of her dress and under her panties, fondling her ass for awhile and eventually sliding her panties off with surprisingly no objection. Kissing all the while (that woman could KISS), I finished unbuttoning her blouse and reached around to unhook her bra and found her pink nipples hard as pebbles. I slowly removed her blouse and bra and there was my proper Methodist wife, the mother of two teenage daughters, standing in the woods with her nice 34b's aroused and exposed. As I started on her skirt, she stopped me and I thought the fun was over. But once again, she surprised me. She pushed me back a step and said, "I don't want to drop this on the ground". Holding onto me with one hand, she removed her skirt and was standing naked in just her sensible wedges. I was further amazed when she turned her back to me and neatly folded the skirt. I hastily dropped my pants without care for the ground and as she bent into the car to put the dress on the seat, I got an enticing view of her firm ass and her moist pussy trimmed in light reddish-gold hair. I couldn't resist and slipped my dripping hard cock into her. Again, I was surprised when she moaned and thrust back at me. We were naked in the woods at twilight on a warm June evening in Pa and I'm fucking my wife from behind. I thought it couldn't get much better but it did. She disengaged, folded the front seat forward and climbed into the back seat placing her left foot on the back of the console and lying there open and smilingly inviting. We fucked in the car with the dome light on (another surprise) and it took no time before we had both had cum. Completely out of character, she wasn't done. She want me to go down on her which I did to another orgasm. By that time, I was stirring a bit so she sucked me (usually reserved for my birthday treat or our Christmas Eve fuck which, interestingly enough, ALWAYS involved champagne). Once I was hard again, she then climbed on top and inserted my dick back inside her and slowly fucked us both to another orgasm. When she finally rolled off an nestled up against me she said quietly, "I wish we had a little more champagne". Epilogue: Those things happened less and less frequently until, like a long opened bottle of champagne, our marriage fizzled out. I wonder if she ever thinks of that night and the couple of similar nights that followed that summer.

Thanks! We've grown so much in these two months and talk more than ever. We were already close but I feel even closer to her now. The great thing is that our boundaries are solidifying and our idea of what we want and don't want is being firmed up. We both agree that we should take it slow and be careful and deliberate about proceeding. We both have a blast at Trapeze just dancing and being with each other so that will be the first thing we continue with. This Friday I'm going to take her on a nice vanilla restaurant date, just the two of us.

Petra here. This poll is written entirely from the male perspective, but I'll reply anyway. My boyfriend/fiance/husband, David, and I got into swinging because I kept my old boyfriend, Red, through dating, engagement, then marriage. At first, I was just still seeing Red on the side, David figured it out and said he didn't mind. David is the least jealous person who I know and it didn't bother him at all. In a short while I introduced them (talk about awkward introductions), and we started doing MFMs. Again,it was David who was more comfortable with sharing me. At first it was mostly one guy then the other and both would finish in my pussy; Red preferred me "fresh" and would go first, David preferred to maintain his excited state longer and would go second (Red would leave the room for that). Eventually we started doing DPs and the like. Neither guy was screwing anyone else until I got over my jealousy and started setting up David with other women, just to prove to myself that I could take it. It led me to open up to my Lesbian side as well. Now were in a poly family with two other women, and we girls share another guy on the side.

Where to begin? First of all: all of our homework and preparation for Hedo was worth it. We weren't shocked by anything that we saw there around the pool. We also fit right in with the group we went with, even though we weren't as wild as some of them were. We hung out with them and laughed, drank, and told stories the whole time. My wife and I deepened our connection with each other and it was absolutely wonderful to spend time with her around the clock with no kids and no responsibilities. The first night we were there we were approached by a couple. They were relatively new like us. We had some drinks, hung out in the hot tub, and wound up in the open air play room. Neither of us anticipated going this fast into debauchery, but we had good chemistry and they accepted our boundaries. We started off side by side with our spouses. Somewhere in the middle the other wife rolled over and started kissing all over my wife and BAM.... she had her first girl on girl experience. She was surprised how much she enjoyed it. The rest of the experience was just touching, feeling, and being with our own spouse. The second night we met up with the same couple and went back to our room. About 3/4 of the experience was good, but it seemed a little off this time. Rather than be about the two ladies, it seemed like the husband was quick to transition to my wife. At one point we all thought he was about to 'go for it' in terms of penetration and I stopped everything and reminded him we weren't doing that. So we resumed. Well.... a few minutes later (I find out afterwards) he desperately whispered twice into her ear to 'let me fuck you'. It was so low that I couldn't hear it, and neither could his wife. I could sense something was up though...I really don't know how. It was the way he was kissing her -- like he was almost a little too much into her. When we were done the other wife got up and got them the hell out of there very abruptly. I think she sensed something too. The rest of the trip we exchanged passing niceties but didn't really hang out with them. Very very weird. Overall the trip was fantastic! The aforementioned experience did nothing but strengthen the communication bonds between us. I have to admit that I was surprised that her sounds of pleasure didn't bother me at all, but seeing him kissing her like that did. Remember that boundary that everyone says usually gets tossed out first? I'm not sure I can toss it. At least I have to think about it some more. My wife didn't get to see me kiss the other wife so she's not sure if it would bother her or not, but she definitely knows that it would bother her to see me have intercourse with another woman. If she knows that without us trying it -- then we definitely do NOT need to try it. Trust your gut! What has happened to us over the past two months: -- we now openly talk about sex to each other, and we do it a lot. Before she didn't really want to talk about it unless we were having sex at that moment. -- she has discovered that she is a bit of an exhibitionist. She didn't want to have sex in the daytime at the pool (understandable), but she LOVES to do it in the playroom. We will be extending our membership at the Trapeze in Atlanta. -- she has discovered that girl on girl in the right situation with the right girl is totally hot, and she likes it. Our adjusted boundaries based on what we have learned: -- girl on girl is a yes. In fact we think for us it should kind of center on that and the husbands just touch and feel -- intercourse is out. We are a soft swap couple methinks. That's ok. That first night went just about perfect for us. -- kissing is out for now. I don't know if it was the situation or not but it made me uncomfortable. Thoughts? could it have just been the situation? -- the wife of any couples should be highly self confident and own a room when she enters it. That might sound strange but we think it could save some intimidation for the couple of my wife's very energetic and confident personality I'm sure I'll think of more and will follow up. Thoughts? Suggestions? Questions?

You are quite correct. 1. Finding that elusive 4 way chemistry take some time. 2. Couples come into...and nearly all eventually leave...the lifestyle. Your post suggests that you are looking for something more than playmates--you found a couple that you (thought you) genuinely like. And now you have received conflicting signals. You have received good advice here--when conflicting signals persist, time to move on. Continue your search. There is a couple somewhere for you.

You just got introduced to DRAMA which is an occupational hazard you should try to avoid when involved in this hobby. As you get more experience you may recognize that you two dodged a bullet with this couple. Time to move on.

Hi there! I definitely understand the concern! However, speaking as an almost-30 pair, we wouldn't rule out 60 year olds! Age is a number; if the physical and intellectual attraction is there, I couldn't care less what the birth certificate says! Hell, I've seen 50's, 60's, 70's in better physical shape than 21 year olds! (I - female half - actually have a shy crush on good looking silver foxes, and would welcome the opportunity to explore it!). If you're concerned that they might be playing a cruel game, maybe you could test the waters by sending them a message prior to meeting. Perhaps comment about how you were flattered that they reached out, and would they like to exchange more revealing photos before meeting? It at least would give you some more information and a chance to gauge the situation. On the other hand, I also totally understand your wife's concern! If you both are willing to even ENTERTAIN this couple, maybe discuss not doing full-swap with the Other Lady. On the other-other hand, I feel like a lot of swinger women (myself included) use a hormonal birth control back-up (IUD, the Pill) in addition to condoms for precisely that reason. Depends what you're ultimately willing to risk, and how much you trust the Other Woman to protect herself in case the condom fails. Let us know what you decide to do!