Just a thought, anything you attempt in life you first must be taught how to do what you’re attempting. You’re taught how to drive a car, read a book, use a computer, and the list goes on into infinity. In this society the only education we receive regarding sex is from porn and trial an error. Most of us think we know what we’re doing, but the truth is that’s just an assumption, and you know what they say about assuming anything.
Luckily for me I met the woman that became my wife fifty years ago and she took pity on me by teaching me how to please her. Also, the lifestyle was an excellent teacher, any time she was with another person that sent her into mass ecstasy, as soon as I could I found out how they accomplished that and place whatever they did into my repertoire of techniques.
So, to answer your question, I don’t think it’s a male or female question, other than two people of the same sex in which most often the use of what one finds pleasurable is what they use on the other, it’s a question of being taught how to please the person you’re with. Being a pleasurable and talented sex partner is an acquired talent, the person that takes the time and effort to learn how to give pleasure is the best lover.