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At the risk of beating this point to death I will note again that the one place where payment is mentioned is how much it will cost to get meaningful access to SLS in order to seek out sexual partners. I still have a logical problem with that

So you have a website that has a bunch of lifetime members. You've gotten all the money you are going to get from them. The free members don't give you any money. How do you get more money? Kill off the free members (who at least want to look around first) and the rest will most likely eventually fall. Create a new website and lifetime members have to start all over again. We are lifetime members but don't use the site too much (since we are 'involved' with only one couple at this time) but we set up free accounts on ALL of the swinger sites so we could see if there were enough other couples around to make it worthwhile to join. SLS had (by far) the most local couples for us so we got a lifetime membership. If another site would have had more, we would have joined them instead. I can see limiting the time for a free member (say 3 months...1 month, whatever) to see if there are enough locals to join, but to just kill off the free memberships: BAD business plan (unless you are trying to kill the business). Several years ago there was a new site trying to start up. They give free memberships (might have been lifetime) to people here who would set up a profile so they could get members. We set one up and found that there wasn't another member for 150 miles. If we would have had to PAY to find that out we would have been VERY UNHAPPY campers. Instead, I now don't even remember the name of the site.

Question for couples with straight guys...would you agree to swing with a couple knowing the male was bi? We have had an offer, but turned it down because I would not be comfortable with a bi guy in the mix.

What is it that makes you feel sexy and confident? I know Pet often says he feels sexiest after he's just gotten a haircut. I personally think he's freakin hot when I get to watch him work out.... I can't say what it is that makes me feel sexy and confident, clothes that just "feel right", sometimes just having my hair cut (if the cut turned out really well), having just had my nails done. A few minutes ago I was wearing casual slacks (for lack of a better word) and a printed t-shirt. I felt frumpy. We are heading out so I changed into a nicer pocket t-shirt and a pair of denim "petal pushers" (I can't recall the modern name for the short pants). I feel much better now. This isn't what I'd wear to the club or anything, but I feel comfortable and adequately sexy for what the evening has planned (drinks with another couple). So, what makes you feel sexy and confident? And what is it that makes your partner seem sexy and confident?

Having read many stories on swinging sites, there has seldom been any mention of the physical beauty of those involved. Are anybody, who will have sex with various people, usually acceptable for all concerned in spite of physical appearance? Or conversely are all swingers attractive? Curious.

A short free trial would make sense. Hope SLS hangs in and does not become MySpace.

I'm fairly sure SLS didn't want to kill off the free members as a result of a business model change, but they did it because of that stupid FOSTA law. They had a successful business model with limited free members who would, if they stayed in the LifeStyle, probably become paid members. I suspect that their revenues will slowly fall because they'll have trouble attracting new paid members. On a similar note, they put out a new policy today that says that ANY mention of payment, even for things like house parties, will be taken off. Stupid FOSTA law . . .

Thank you for your replies. I have beat myself up about this since the divorce. I blamed myself a lot for starting the ball rolling. I did try to talk to her after the no show, but she would not open up. I did think our relationship was strong, having survived my multiple deployments, some as long as eleven months. I still have the thoughts on having a mfm threesome. I am just afraid to go through it all over again. I will work on my current relationship and hopefully one day it will be strong enough to actually take our first step. But first I will put the advice I have received here to work...rock solid communication and trust. And if her answer is no, at least we will have a solid relationship.

In order to be successful in swinging, you have to first have a rock solid relationship where you have great love, awesome communication, and an incredible amount of trust. Couples that come into swinging thinking it will save their relationship...are going to be disappointed. Some couples try swinging because they are looking for their current significant others' replacement (sounds like what happened to you). Unless you already have a great relationship, swinging will only make the flaws and shortcomings much more apparent. If one of the parties are already looking for an out, they will find one no matter what happens. I'm sorry for what happened to you but learn from this. Make sure that you are always working on improving your relationship with great communication and trust and who knows, maybe the second try will be the one where you join the ranks of swingers (if the two of you mutually decide this is where your relationship should go). Good luck and best wishes.

First woman was gone before she agreed to the threesome.