This post in another thread...
...got me thinking - Girls, what is the most unusual or interesting thing you have had in your vagina?
Me - A little bottle half-filled with liquid I used to rock back and forth with when I was in my midteens. I know, not all that interesting, but it kept me happy.
Clair (our gf) - A banana she and a former lover used for foreplay, then ate.
Ah, it seems you're running into social conditioning.
You've been told through your life that anything but marital sex is bad, and you should be ashamed of it. And now, you're branching out, seeing what it's all about, and your mind is conflicted between what you are experiencing and what you've been told.
My suggestion is to read a good book on the subject. May I suggest The Ethical Slut or Opening Up. Both are available on Amazon. This should at least give you something to think about.
The best of luck . . .
An old girlfriend, when she and I were in our Early Twenties -- and this was before we had had sex, or had even seen each other naked -- had me over to dinner.
She told me later that night that she had masturbated with a cucumber before I came over, and it was the same cucumber that was in our salad. She said this just before I left, and told me she hoped I made good use of that information once I got home.
Jeepers, that still turns me on!
Years ago, at a club, I had sex with four different guys, one after the other. I've got to say, after four, I was tired and sore but, I did have a smile on my face (that my husband teased me about the smile lasting too long).