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So, you want to swing. You’ve had all the discussions and you think now you’re ready. But wait, how do we get started actually finding people to have sex with us? You could always ask a close friend that you are comfortable with but this is not recommended by most. Some have had good luck with it and others have lost friends by even mentioning the fact that they are interested in exploring an alternative lifestyle. The two most popular ways are placing a personal ad on one of the many different adult ad sites on the internet and attending a swinger’s club or event. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. Geographic location also plays a part in which of these will work best for you. The club route: If you live in an area where there are clubs available this is a very good option to start meeting people with. Clubs come in many different forms...Off-premise, On-premise, Socials and Meet & Greets...you also have house parties in the mix but they are not something I would recommend for a newbie. Off-premise clubs are basically like any other night club you would attend, with the only difference being that everyone there is a swinger or is interested in becoming a swinger. They are great places for new people to check out the scene, interact with others and ask questions in a no pressure atmosphere. There is a sexually charged atmosphere, lots of dancing and talking and getting to know people. No sex occurs at an off-premise club, if you meet someone for playtime you have to leave the club and obtain a room or head out to someone’s house before play can occur. On-premise clubs are the same as off-premise with the exception that sex can and does happen on-premise. Usually in rooms that are provided specifically for playing, which range from private rooms to group rooms. Socials are basically like off-premise clubs, but are usually held at a hotel that has a large meeting room or ballroom, and are usually held only once a month. You will find dancing, socializing and lots of flirting going on. Sex does not occur at a Social but the advantage over an off-premise club is that you are only a walk away from a hotel room if you happen to meet someone for playtime. Meet and Greets are basically just a group of swingers who get together only for the purpose of meeting face to face for dinner and conversation. Hook-ups can and do occur but it’s not the main focus of a M&G. All of these have the advantage of getting to see the people you are meeting right away, there’s no waiting for pictures to be sent and no time between e-mails and/or phone calls trying to arrange a time that is convenient for all to meet. Play can and at times will occur the same night you meet someone, if everyone is in agreement. The disadvantages are that you can be overwhelmed at times with numerous people vying for your attention as well as having those you would rather not play with asking to play and then dealing with having to turn them down gracefully. The ad route: Ads are a way of meeting people when you don’t live in a place where there is a club close enough to visit and/or you’re just not a club type of person. By placing an ad you are able to spell out everything that you are interested in exploring. What type of people you enjoy spending time with, if you’re just looking for a one time hook-up or if you’re looking for long term play partners. When placing an ad you’re able to tell what type of experiences you have had, what type of experiences you want to have, what you like to do sexually and with whom you would like to do it with. You are also able to search ads and find people you are interested in and contacting them. One of the things that you will have to deal with when placing an ad is answering the responses you get. Some will be from people you might have no interest in. You will have to write back and let them know. Another possibility is that you might wind up playing tag with those that you are interested in trying to find the time to meet. Also, you will have to deal with those who are not really serious about swinging and those that will stand you up once a date has been made. No matter how you decide to meet people for sexual play, be it via the ad route or attending a club, you will only get out of it what you are willing to put into it. You must be able to put effort into your search. If you’re at a club get up and talk to people, don’t wait for them to come to you. If you have an ad out and you’re not getting the response you want, look it over and see what you can do to make it more appealing to others as well as looking for those you’re interested in and making the first move with contacting them. Always remember, there is no right or wrong way to go about it. Find the way you’re comfortable with and have fun in your adventure.

The guy has a blood volume issue. He doesn't have enough to allow both his dick to get hard and his brain to function simultaneously. Add to that, he has no respect for you or for your marriage or even for the sanctity of your home. I can't see why you even want him involved with you two. He's clearly nothing but trouble. The man to man talk should consist of 1 sentence. "Don't ever show up at our door uninvited again and don't expect an invitation any time soon."

If you live in an isolated area, your best bet, if it is in your budget, is a lifestyle vacation. Hedo, Desire, Caliente, Bliss cruises. A lot of choices of people over a week.

Geographic location definetly stinks. We live way up in northern Maine, and it feels like we are so alone when it comes to swinging.

Hi! I don’t think it would be a problem honestly. Hubby is 42 and I am 29, and we have not ever had a problem. —Em

If she brings it up again it might be because she is interested in it. I think most people would let it go after mentioning once. You can in a fun way ask her if she ever thought about playing with more than one person. Maybe she has a fantasy. If she does have a fantasy you then have to decide what you want to tell her. If she doesn’t bring it up again just forget it. I just wonder if you want her to ask. Have fun.