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Single professional female (travel for work) looking for a male swing partner (over 45). I am looking to explore the lifestyle.

We have been to house parties before. The open playroom is the norm. I also like adamgunn’s approach where they swap with a couple first, then go onto other situations. I consider myself to be pleasant looking, but I am laid back, not aggressive or predatory. So I am not on the prowl to pick off another guy’s wife/partner so that I can play and leave out my wife and the other husband. That party was not our cup of tea, so we politely folded our tent and left.

I've been to some house parties like the one you described. Most house parties I've been to are more of an orgy atmosphere with one common play room for everyone.

Unless there's a medical condition or age issue, not getting wet is usually translated as "not getting aroused". There could have been many reasons for that, perhaps she just wasn't into him or he DID push her head down when she was unwilling??? In any case, you need to chat with her about it. And just to address the no-kissing rule, we think that kissing is an integral part of the sexual experience, and such a rule is so tenuous and the probability of violating it so great that we routinely pass on any couple with that rule. Not saying it's not fine to have that rule, just that we know (from experience with some folks that "followed" it, that it's kind of a landmine waiting to be stepped on...... T

The OPs gave you good advice, but I would suggest that you focus on your first observation--that you have improved your comfort level in social situations. Most people were not born with all the social skills that you need to feel competent and comfortable in EVERY situation. You learn these things, either by mistakes or by "study," like anything else. Most of it comes from learning about yourself, what you like and what you believe. One of the other things you learn as you mature is that what one person says may not be the whole story. The "other girl" you mentioned may believe and practice what she told you, but that doesn't mean that everyone else does. For instance, "I did have a discussion with another girl who told me that apart from what you do alone with your partner doing more adventurous stuff with other people or couples was what made you feel alive (in her own words). She told me that in the end monogamy doesn't work and the majority of people after a while in their marriage just stop wanting to get intimate with their spouse." If you read the posts on this board, the majority say something entirely different. The marital bond is strengthened by playing and experimenting. The ultimate reward is in how it makes you closer and better with your spouse. So, I would read more, get some "second opinions" and take what the girl told you as one person's opinion, not the gospel. Also, your command of English, not your mother tongue, is fantastic. A lot of the stuff I read is not close to as good. Congrats.

Looks like everyone has their own rules. Kissing, if you read all the posts, is a big rule for some couples. I don’t understand that rule, I think it just is a way for some to think they aren’t being intimate. To me that’s crazy. If I can kiss a penis or vagina why not lips? For not giving your all on a blow job I ask why are you there with someone else. Do you hold back too? I can’t answer on dryness. Is it age or an infection? Does she ever have this at home?

I have been thinking about your question since I first posted. Just saying that I have no problem didn't really answer you. I used to have a jealousy problem, this is before swinging. During the time of transition from Vanilla to swing I owned that my wife was not a THING (wife ) that I owned, but a PERSON (WIFE) who gives herself to me freely. So much of what most of us learned growing up was the possessiveness of relationships. MY boyfriend , MY girlfriend etc. We were taught that this was the good and human way to be. When we step outside of that training, I can see how one turns around to check if they are right in proceeding. Giving up the ownership idea freely was a good thing for our relationship. I did have to convince my wife that I was not crazy and was serious when I gave her a no strings attached green light. I was not certain that I would maintain on that path until the first time that I saw her with another man. I was very happy with myself that I could enjoy her joy. The end result is that the bad remnants of the ownership mentality are gone. Along with them went many of the subtle poisons of ownership that had been dysfunctions of which we had been unaware. ( Small example: Each of us expecting something because it was owed not joyfully receiving what was freely given. I think this is what most people refer to as "the rut") For us we have fallen back into courting behaviour, without the uncertainties of courting.

Why do people post unflattering pictures of themselves? Out of focus, poorly framed, cannot see the person. And I do not want to see close ups of genitalia. We presume that you have them.

The problem with this line of reasoning is that intoxicated people are not decisional, and cannot give consent. A useful analogy is elective surgery. The prior consent process is quite detailed because, once sedated and anesthetized, the patient cannot give consent. The process must include, at a minimum, a description of what is to transpire, and with whom (as the surgeon); an enumeration of the expected benefits, potential risks, and alternatives; and a clear statement that consent may be withdrawn at any time. Most consents will include language to the effect that if an unexpected situation/finding is encountered, decisions will be made in the best interest and safety of the patient. The club host appears to have some serious responsibilities here, as the activities you describe may well not have been consensual.

One of the few advantages of being an older swinger: you can't get pregnant after menopause. As exciting as bareback and cream pies may be, we devoutly use condoms when playing. We don't pretend to know who has been where.

In general, hormonal contraceptives work by inhibiting the body from producing the hormones which cause ovulation. If ovulation does not occur, the volume of semen isn't an issue because there is no egg to fertilize. However, as there are a wide array of hormonal contraceptives, I highly recommending researching the specific "pill" your wife is using to determine exactly how it works. Also remember the pill does not prevent sexually transmitted infections, so condoms are a good idea in general. Birth Control Pill: Side Effects, Effectiveness, How the Pill Works, and Types

Maybe because most great artists were men. Make that heterosexual men. Just saying.

I find it confusing when people say "men aren't as sexy as the women" as a reason for the lopsided pics. Men are sexy to straight and bisexual women...well, at least they are when they're not hairy, wart-covered trolls with decayed teeth. Which I assume they are when they won't come off with a face pic

I have enjoyed this several times. One of my favorite positions. Easier to get another woman to do the licking but feels wonderful either way, male or female. First time he sat on the corner of the bed and laid back, I straddled him, and she was on her knees licking me. Worked wonderfully for someone who wasn't real flexible yet. Getting better at it though!!! facelick