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Showing content with the highest reputation on 05/01/2018 in Posts

  1. 2 points
    I think most swingers whether they consider themselves nudists/naturists or not, are comfortable with nudism. I've found that a lot of nudists are actually pretty prudish and want nothing to do with swinging or swingers.
  2. 1 point
    We got into this BECAUSE of our love and trust in each other. We were able to talk about our sexual fantasies with each other and decided to see about making some of them come true. One step at a time, we ended up here. This has been something we have done together and it has made our relationship grow even stronger and closer. If a couple doesn't already have a GREAT relationship, however, this can and usually ends up in disaster. It will not fix a broken relatioship, but it can make a great relationship even better. Yep, in a hot second. She is more important to me than swinging (and she feels the same about me). This is the 'sprinkles' on our relationship 'sundae', it isn't the ice cream or chocolate sauce or anything else. Ice cream without sprinkles is still pretty darn good but sprinkles by themselves...not so much. Not at all. Not everyone (in fact very few) are 'wired' for this. Even less have a relationship strong enough to do this. I know that we are one of the very few fortunate enough to be able to do this and as a result value her even more because of it. This is a fantastic gift that we have allowed each other to share. ALL relationships take work to keep them going good (even if they are 'vanilla'). It is when people take them for granted or don't put in the work that they start going bad. Love, trust, communication are all REQUIREMENTS for a good relationship. If any of the three are missing, it can begin a downward spiral where things just continue to get worse. I felt the same when I was your age. This is where the trust and communication come in. Some (most) people won't ever be able to do this, but some can. It's not that either is right or wrong, it's just how it is and they are. When I was young, I couldn't trust my partner enough to even think about swinging. The jealousy was just too much. It took years to develop the maturity and trust to even start talking about the subject and still I was concerned that jealousy would be a problem. We were very careful and slow as we started exploring this and I found out that it wasn't a problem. This was fun and I KNEW she was always going to be coming home with me. Still, not so fun that I would ever risk losing her if either of us wanted to stop someday. Don't know either. We have never found a sex club (not even sure where to look...Yelp?) I'm sure that this was their way of doing things. It doesn't make it the RIGHT way. Part of the difficulty is finding another couple (or singe) that meets the needs of everyone involved. Since they met at a club, there wasn't any way of finding out if they all were a 'match'. The other couple (it sounds like) were just looking for someone to play with and not see again. That's fine if that is also what you (or in this case, your friend) were looking for. If someone is looking for something different, then they need to talk about it with everyone involved before hand. We have always been looking for FWB so for us finding another couple that we 'clicked' with was the most important part. We would LOVE to find a unicorn that everyone clicked, but...they are called unicorns for a reason. As it is, we have found another couple that we all do click and we have a great time together...doing both swinger and vanilla things together. 'Right' is a term that can only be defined by the people involved. What may be right for one group isn't going to work for another. Would we have treated her the same way as this other couple: no. But that doesn't mean what they did was 'wrong'. It was right for the couple at the time. Is swinging right or wrong? For some it is right, for others it is very wrong but just because someone doesn't agree with it, it doesn't make it wrong for everyone. It's called 'dating'. Hope we helped answer some of your questions. We wish you luck with whatever 'right' path you choose.
  3. 1 point
    First of all, the right thing to do was to talk it out (sounds like you have). Second, your rules should adapt as time goes on (but NEVER without discussion in a neutral environment and agreement with both parties). It sounds like your rules are adapting, but a rule should never change when you are with another person or couple. I think that this is a rule that you should talk about for the future (and it should be almost a 'golden' rule). We also started out with a no kissing rule thinking the same thing you two do...but after our first or second 'adventure' we 'grew out' of this rule. We thought that we might have a problem seeing the other kiss someone else, but (for us at least) that wasn't the case so we decided to eliminate this rule. It was an important rule when we started (fear of jealousy, intimacy with another, and the like), but after testing the water, those fears never materialized so we 'moved forward' and removed that rule. Bottom line here is that it sounds like it wasn't too upsetting to either of you. Either you need to decide if this rule is important enough to keep. If it is, then make sure that she knows and go from there. Maybe stay close enough to each other so she can always see what is happening with you and not assume what might be going on. The most important thing is to keep the lines of communication open and you both keep talking as you continue. Good luck and let us know how things turn out.
  4. 1 point
    Being nude has nothing to do with swinging. Nudists will say it’s just a feeling of freedom and nature. I have seen families enjoying the sun together. Maybe there are more swingers percentage wise on a nude beach vs a regular beach. That doesn’t mean everyone on the nude beach is itching to swing with you.
  5. 1 point
    At first, I'd like to apologize for a little bit of a long post. I am a 30 year old male and my wife is 25 year old. We have been married for almost 7 years. She is Muslim and was quite conservative from the beginning. On the other hand, I always had different types​ of sexual fantasies that I have shared with her. Over the past few years, she has tried to become a little bit more adventurous in terms of talking dirty or some other things. While having sex, we talk about her friends who I'd like to have sex with & my friends who she would like to have sex with. She enjoys sharing those fantasies these days. So, safe to say that over the past few years, we both have adapted to each other quite a bit. We both are from a conservative country and being a Muslim didn't actually help our cause. Recently, like a year or so ago, we have moved to Europe. Since being here, she has become just a little bit more adventurous person I would say. She has always wanted to wear different things that she could not wear back in our country. Since being here, I'm proud of her that she has already pulled off mini skirts albeit with stockings. She's also going to parties with friends and I always encourage her to go to those events. Recently, she had been to a party with one of her friends and she was looking really gorgeous in her black mini skirt with a short top. In that party, she had some experiences that she has shared with me and also showed me some pictures from the party. Over there she met some guys from her study programme & she showed me the pictures she took over there with some of guys. The pictures with those guys were pretty normal by any usual standard, but for her the experience was a new one. Like in some of them, she was hugging some other guys that she met over there and in another one, a guy photobombed her picture by grabbing her from behind. She didn't mind those things at all I suppose. After the party she has shared some of the other experiences that she encountered over there too. The suggestions or advices that I'm looking for are regarding those experiences. When someone she newly met touched or kissed her cheek, although she told me that she enjoyed those, yet became a little bit uncomfortable. The particular situation that she mentioned to me were that while dancing with a guy, she felt his hands near her ass and boobs. She said that she didn't follow through with those and immediately stopped dancing with that guy. She has shared those in details with me and as always I get a little bit of sexual arousal from these experiences. Although she hasn't asked me what to do, I think for her the biggest surprise was that like the stories we used to share, she actually enjoyed quite a bit of the party experiences. As always, I'm really cool with that and I would like her to explore her sexuality even more. But, I think, she's been in a little bit of a pickle as she would like to continue, yet she is a little bit shy still. Next week she has some sort of a new year party that She really wants to go and she seemed pretty excited about the dress she's gonna wear over there. To be honest, it's pretty revealing by her standards. The thing is that she's still thinking back and forth about what to do over there because of their earlier experience. It's not like that she disliked her experience over there, rather like stepping into an Uncharted territory. So, what should be my advice to her?
  6. 1 point
    I use the ELMAM diet. Anybody heard of it? ... Eat Less, Move Around More
  7. 1 point
    Changing rules on the fly is a bad idea in my book - only because you have not talked with your partner and found out how they would feel about it. which is what your saying happened - now lets look at that - you say he did not push her head down and she says he did, there are a few things that can explain this, did he touch her hair or head at all and were you watching her head for the show? He may of touched her hair and she took it as a push, you may of glanced away at the time he did it, and so on - the real point is how did she feel about it? did she say something to you? did you jump on her straight away and say some thing? what i see from your post is that you need to ( with and upset/anger with each other ) sit down and go over how you both felt about it all - the whole time not just bits of it. also who wanted to try this and how long before you did it? From what you say about her dryness i would think she was not into it at all and you should off checked in with her ( and used lube if needed ) It's you and her then the rest of the world. make sure that comes over when talking and playing. lastly, about rules - if they are your rules (both of you ) and you both can play by them then who cares what others think.
  8. 1 point
    "That party was not our cup of tea, so we politely folded our tent and left." Reasonable and mature response. You stayed honest to yourselves, a BIG plus in my world.
  9. 1 point
    This couple didn't end up working out with us. We found a new couple not long after I posted this thread. They are amazing people, and it's turned into so much more than swinging. We met them for the first time, alittle over a month ago, and connected with then instantly. It's been intense! We've spent time with them every weekend since we started chatting, and even took a roadtrip to Galveston last weekend. We were sure we wanted friends with benefits, but we've all come to the conclusion that this is a poly relationship. It's not what we were looking for, but it's what we found, and it's wonderful!
  10. 1 point
    If you live in an isolated area, your best bet, if it is in your budget, is a lifestyle vacation. Hedo, Desire, Caliente, Bliss cruises. A lot of choices of people over a week.
  11. 1 point
    When I was a teenager, I had the hots for a number of my friends mothers. Of course, at that age I also had the hots for a fence post. What a guy feels as a teenager is just the hots.
  12. 1 point
    While there can be dangers, we feel secure enough in our relationship that I have been doing this for a few years. Quite early after we started swinging, my husband would leave me alone in the room with the other man after a threesome, letting the two of us play some more. However, more recently, I have traveled alone, even out of town, to meet up with friends. (This is only for men whom I know well. I would never meet a new man alone.)
  13. 1 point
    I have written about my experiences before. Our first time swinging we were in different rooms. We met a couple on a cruise and we swapped spouses. I went to their cabin, my husband stayed in our cabin with the wife. That night was fabulous. It was the first time with someone other than my husband since we got married. I can say we made love. I know have taken exception to that comment. We did make love with kissing, touching and sex. It's not that I did anything new or much different than I do with my husband, it was different because he was different. Looking back, and memories do change, I was totally comfortable kissing and having sex with this new friend. I didn't think about my husband or what he might be doing in our cabin. It was much different when we had sex with them in the same room. My new partner changed. In front of my husband and his wife we had sex. It felt detached and more like putting on a show. The romantic oral from the night before was replaced with him having sex with my mouth. When he entered me the long sensual strokes were gone. I also saw my husband watching us as he was getting a blow job. It just wasn't the same. Even though we have been in same room situations since and I have become more comfortable with it, I still prefer different rooms.
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