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(M) I went out to dinner alone with the female half of the couple we play with recently. We sat at the bar and made out. It was dangerous and exciting at the same time hoping no one we knew spotted us!

Sorry, but you're going to have a problem with that no kissing rule. It's such a natural part of sex that it's going to be hard to not do it.

I don't think think is about whether or not the lifestyle is for you two but more are you okay with this level of disrespect. Please reread what you have written. Everything is great except he won't take the time to acknowledge your feelings. The lifestyle isn't the problem but sometimes can highlight issues.

We use our first names, but only after initial contact -- usually by e-mail. Only after we meet face-to-face do we give out last names. What's troublesome for us is that we have a dedicated "adult play" e-mail address, at the big G. We use it only for contacting play partners or requesting party info. The trouble started a few years back when Google decided everyone had to use their real name to have an account. Nuh-uh, No way were we going to do that, so we picked a fake name. Google no longer requires a 'real name' (anonymity helps people escape domestic violence -- and that's a fantastic reason to be anonymous), but we can't figure out how to remove the fake name. The upshot: Neither of us are named "Benny Vandergast". And it's not even an alias. The fake name? "Benny Vandergast". Go look it up; Kermit and Miss Piggy would be pleased you did. So when we write "Hey! We're J--- and J----, nice to meet you!", but the e-mail reads "From: Benny Vandergast", it's always a problem. We're trying to mitigate the issue by putting the "That's not our real name" disclaimer in e-mails and taglines,

The easy way to do it is to just do it without thinking about it. How do you think women swallow cum, it is not as gross as you think.

It sounds to me like you have some legitimate concerns. I agree that you guys should take a break from the lifestyle, at least until you can both sit down together, have a serious conversation and get your relationship back onto firmer footing. I would suggest that you need to calmly and clearly explain to him the concerns that you have and he needs to respect them. You also need to listen to his concerns (whatever those might be) and respect those. When you can talk through things completely, openly and honestly, you'll be in a better place.

We use an alias in our selection of site usernames. That way it is a bit harder to find us through the search engines and keep a bit of a lower profile. But once we start to communicate with people, either by email or other direct method, we always use our real names.

Seems to me that he sees your relationship with your wife as a cuckold relationship rather than a hot wife relationship. There is a big difference. Because you have allowed him to have her whenever he wants and saying nothing he sees you as the beta male and himself the alpha. You already said he disrespects you. In his mind that's his pussy now and he can use it whenever he wants. I suggest taking charge, standing up to him, and kicking him to the curb. I bet your wife will be a little turned on by you taking charge of the situation. After all, that's what turns her on about him. After that, look for a play partner who respects your marraige. That's when the hot wife relationship starts.

We use our real names. less confusing that way.