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We just say they are friends and offer no further explanation. My wife (I was divorced in 2010 and remarried in 2016) was never in the swinger community, but we when I was living with my a girlfriend and her husband and for a couple years I was in a committed relationship with both of them. So she knows all about my swinging past and isn't opposed to any of it. Some of our best friends today are couples I used to swing with that I introduced her to. We went on a completely vanilla trip to Vegas with one of those couple a few months ago. People also ask us how we know them and we just say that they are old friends of mine and don't offer any additional context or background. It's not important and people needing more info are being nosey and rude.

This. Most cover stories work as long as they are simple and common. We've used "Met at work", "Through mutual friends", "common interest group" and other similar lines. Don't forget to coordinate the story with the other couple.

How many times? DON'T PLAY WITH FRIENDS! While some couples have been successful with this, it more often than not turns out bad. Now you are in a situation where they work together and your wife can loose her job if things don't work out how the other woman (who is now in control of the relationship because of this knowledge) wants things to turn out. Since she is a lesbian, she isn't going to want to play with you and since she likes your wife...well do you think she is playing with her just for fun? Even if your wife is only 'experimenting', eventually this is most likely going to end badly. The other woman is (more likely than not) interested in a relationship with your wife (hey, she warned you) and either your wife will have to tell her that she isn't interested in a relationship (which will most likely cause the bad ending) or (worst case) she does leave you for this relationship. Your friend not communicating with you as much...she's trying to take your wife. Are you being paranoid? Not sure, but I would be very concerned. This was a bad idea from the start but at this point you no longer have much of a say in what happens. Wife having a "you wanted this" attitude is not very good either. You need to talk with your wife and tell her that you are not happy with how things are going and that you both should (if you choose to continue) find a new couple to play with. Don't make demands, just tell her that you are not feeling good with this...that playing with friends may not be a good idea. See what she has to say at this point, it will tell you a lot. Good luck but start talking ASAP.

Here's what actually happened at a party we held where both vanillas and swingers attended: Mrs. Fundamentalist: "How do y'all happen to know each other?" Mrs. Playmate: "Our husbands met in a bookstore." (True. It was an Adult Book store that had a Swingers Bulletin Board. We were both checking out the board when Mr. Playmate pointed to a 3X5 card and said, "This is ours.") Mrs. Alura: "They had coffee together and made plans for the four of us to go out to dinner." (True. After dinner we went to our house, swapped mates and had sex.) Mrs. Playmate: "We've been friends since." Lies work better when they're (well, pretty much) true.

The bi situations you reference sound more like envy than jealousy, where the vanilla "I'd be devastated if he grabbed her boobs" is pure jealousy and I think has little to do with sexual orientation. Though, I think bi people may "get" it more than many vanillas because they have needs that they would like to fulfill with the other gender (even if they don't).

She may get wet at the thought, the fantasy if you will, but there is a huge difference between getting turned-on by the fantasy and actually wanting to do it. But this is where you two will need to have a long, honest talk with each other about whether this is a fantasy she really wants to fulfill and she's afraid of how you'll feel about it so she's telling you that you're enough, or it's something that is better left a fantasy for her. Of course the only way to find-out is to talk about it, outside the bedroom when you're not hard and she's not wet so that lusty thoughts are clouding rational thinking.

It’s said that one advantage of telling the truth is that you don’t have to remember how the lie went. But this is the kind of situation where there’s really no good alternative to telling a social lie. As Padoc suggests, keep it simple. And I would say a bit vague and be sure it’s not easy to check the veracity of your story. Also, I’d suggest, if the subject comes up again, either from the original questioner or someone else, be sure to keep the story consistent.

We met at a wine tasting or met them at a retirement party for a colleague. Keep it VERY simple. One of the things they taught us at cop school is that a lie often has a TON of detail. Keep it simple, it is more believable.

Nice try David….here's some unsolicited advice: Get a girlfriend, build a relationship, discuss swinging with her, join and pay for membership in a couple of swinger sites, got to sponsored M&Gs or on premise swingers clubs, play as a committed couple. I promise you that you'll get way more sex doing that than what you just did above. Single men looking for NSA sex are a dime a dozen and in this hobby it is most assuredly a buyers market.

Our story is that they are old school chums who now line in NYC or wherever. Nobody is likely to catch on until the number of trips out of town exceeds the number of the graduating class.

Should you let her? Yes, if it's both of your fantasy and you've thoroughly talked it through beforehand. Watching your partner fuck someone else will bring many feelings to the surface, both good and bad, and it's better to cover the "what-if's" beforehand than play damaage control and pick-up the pieces afterward. Second, is she on-board with this massage arrangement and seeing where it goes, also? It rarely works-out when these things are a surprise. Again, talk, talk, talk and then talk some more. Then fuck other people once the talking is done and you are both on the same page about what you want to happen and ultimately what you want to get from this. Good luck.

Ah, it seems you're running into social conditioning. You've been told through your life that anything but marital sex is bad, and you should be ashamed of it. And now, you're branching out, seeing what it's all about, and your mind is conflicted between what you are experiencing and what you've been told. My suggestion is to read a good book on the subject. May I suggest The Ethical Slut or Opening Up. Both are available on Amazon. This should at least give you something to think about. The best of luck . . .

honestly whats not fair is that you are keeping it to your self. It's not fair on him - because he does not know you feel this way - so he has no understanding of what he can do to make this a better experience for his wife. If fact he probably thinks there is no problems. It's not fair on you - because your feelings are valid to you as well - and the more you keep them bottled up the worse for you and everyone around it will get - resentment will soon be able to find a crack into your marriage and it will snow ball. The only thing you need to do is talk to your husband and let him know - then the both of you can move forward to the place where you both can have fun - Your husband loves you - you love your husband - you both are willing to share each-other with other people - but you want to keep this to your self? ( if it was turned around and he thought of you, what you do of him, and then you found out latter - how would that make you feel? ) if your husband posted this same thing only he was keeping it from you i would give him the same advice ( yes and i would off given him some stick like i did you )

The thing I'm wondering here is that you saw the pics of the guys before you arranged the dates, correct? If they were so unattractive, why did you agree to meet? Also for us, personality has won over looks before. People who didn't look so good in their pics won us over with their personalities and we ended up playing.

Would you go to a nudist beach? Why would you go? So Mr G and I are 'beach babes'. We frequently spend our weekends with our children on a beautiful secluded, tucked away beach with miles of wild coast line. When ever we invite friends (vanilla) friends to join us they always say...that's a nudist beach!!! We have never seen 'the nudist' part, we've always been busy playing with our kids along the shore with the other beach-goers...I actually thought it was a myth... So last weekend I'm walking along with the shore with my brother-in-law, deep in conversation, when after about 20 minutes of walking we look up and realize that we have strayed from home, yes everyone around us is in the buff... Oops we say to ourselves with cheeky smiles and turn back to return to our family and friends about 1km back along the shore. When we return I say to my husband and friends...guess what we found? Mr G finds this amusing and says "really, let's go for another walk and check it out". So off me and Mr G go again...before we leave our family and friends we ask cheekily, does anyone want to come with us...to which one of our friends says "absolutely not, I don't want to go and look at people naked". I replied, "we're not going to look at people. People don't go to a nudist beach just to look at people naked. They go to feel free, liberated, and natural." Or do they? I personally think there's nothing sexier that laying around in the sun, teasing Mr G, naked, covered in oil, tanning my white triangles while He lays next to me getting really turned on but not being able to do a thing about it...

Personally, I could never let my GF have sex with another man on her own. It may be her fantasy but she should respect your wishes and vice-versa. If the other man feels intimidated by you being there, I think that with time, he will feel more comfortable with you being there. This is something that should have been discussed before you two decided to bring other people in to your sex life. I bet she must have concerns about some things and will not want you to do certain things as well. I don't like having my GF off on her own with another guy mostly because of my concerns for her safety. It's a give and take thing when you are involved with another person. Make sure to talk about any other concerns and set additional boundaries if you have to. Good luck!

You are letting him get away with it so why wouldn't he? (not saying that this is right or acceptable, but its most likely how he sees it). It even has a name: New Relationship Energy or NRE. The new girl is...new and exciting. A new play toy and he is going to play with it as often and as much as he can...until it gets old. You are the toy that he's had for awhile and while you are his all time favorite, you have been tossed to the side until he gets tired of the new toy. Stop allowing him to do this. You've been told by several people that you need to stop swinging until he gets his priorities straightened but it doesn't sound like you are being firm enough with him (or that he is taking you seriously). If you can't be more firm, then send him to this thread and we will try to explain it directly to him. For him: Any man lucky enough to have a woman who will allow him this pleasure and honor of playing with another woman should ALWAYS make sure that his SO (Significant Other) gets as much attention, if not more, than the other woman...always, without exception. She is your queen and should always be treated as such. Any man who is making his SO do something that she doesn't totally enjoy (as in having sex with a guy who she doesn't enjoy having sex with) or is willing to put someone else's pleasure above his SO's will quickly find that he no longer has a SO. In swinging, the woman is the one in control...don't ever forget this. There are other couples out there, find a new couple where you both can enjoy the experience but you need to walk away from this couple...now. What you are doing is hurting your woman.