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Like Gold. "Oh, we happened to bump into them in a bar and became friends." We leave out the part that we'd been chatting on SLS for going on two months, or that later that evening we were all in the same bed.

We have few rules so while Im busy with my face is buried in a new pussy and her husband is balls deep in Mrs Doc, neither of us have to check off on rules. We like the same room because I LOVE watching her and she enjoys seeing another woman get off with me. Plus, we really like switching back and forth. We HAVE separated at some house parties where we know all of the couples. One time at Trapeze, we met a relatively new couple and there were 2 other couples there who had been friends for years. The new wife was a bit intimidated by the big public play area at the club so she asked if we could go to a private room. Mrs Doc said. "sure, you two go, the boys (the new husband and the 2 other couples)will take good care of me". We ALL had a great night. Jesus, this hobby beats hell out of collecting baseball cards or christmas plates!

WesternSwing, I pretty much agree with you except for your comment, "We also realized that the "same room only" rule was really about not trusting that each other wouldn't "break the rules" For us, we liked to hear and see each other having sex with others. I remember one night where she was on the bed and my partner and I were on the floor and the foursome lasted a very long time - for over an hour and a half. Afterwards during reclaiming sex, she asked me if I really came three times, and I told her yes I did!

We are open to it. I think it would have to be with a couple. Not one of us finding a person and then the other finding a person. I don’t know that I need or want full Poly. But a caring loving friendship with a couple is very desired.

Honestly right now my heart goes out to you because I get sense that you feeling very alone right now. I agree with most of the advice above so won't repeat it here but I will say that if you need it take that break, don't ask insist on it. If your partners friend is pushing boundries remove her from your relationship and if your partner is breaking rules and causing you hurt or pain then confront him and ask yourself if this is how you want to live your life. I hope you can work through things and find the middle ground but do not put up with a lifestyle that makes you unhappy.

First off, welcome to the Swingers Board! Maybe some more information is in order here. You want to "make sure she gets what she wants", does that mean just getting fucked, or do you mean something more specific like by a certain kind of guy or whatever? Since it sounds like she'll basically be playing as a single female, and those are in short supply at clubs along with everywhere else in the swinging world, then she'll have no problem having sex. Now, having sex with a guy that is perfect for her and she is really into? That may be a little more difficult. It's harder than you might think to find someone that you have really good chemistry with, which experienced swingers know is the most important thing for a good experience. It often takes some patience, since experienced swingers also know that rushing into things or not trusting your gut when the spark just isn't there rarely works out. If you go into a swinging experience thinking it will get better once things get fired up...it won't. So, assuming everyone wants that first swinging experience to be a great one (so hopefully there will be a second, third, and so on), then maybe slow down just a little here. That doesn't mean don't go to the club. Absolutely go to the club, just don't go with any expectations other than having a fun night together.

How many times? DON'T PLAY WITH FRIENDS! While some couples have been successful with this, it more often than not turns out bad. Now you are in a situation where they work together and your wife can loose her job if things don't work out how the other woman (who is now in control of the relationship because of this knowledge) wants things to turn out. Since she is a lesbian, she isn't going to want to play with you and since she likes your wife...well do you think she is playing with her just for fun? Even if your wife is only 'experimenting', eventually this is most likely going to end badly. The other woman is (more likely than not) interested in a relationship with your wife (hey, she warned you) and either your wife will have to tell her that she isn't interested in a relationship (which will most likely cause the bad ending) or (worst case) she does leave you for this relationship. Your friend not communicating with you as much...she's trying to take your wife. Are you being paranoid? Not sure, but I would be very concerned. This was a bad idea from the start but at this point you no longer have much of a say in what happens. Wife having a "you wanted this" attitude is not very good either. You need to talk with your wife and tell her that you are not happy with how things are going and that you both should (if you choose to continue) find a new couple to play with. Don't make demands, just tell her that you are not feeling good with this...that playing with friends may not be a good idea. See what she has to say at this point, it will tell you a lot. Good luck but start talking ASAP.

The best story is always the true story with some parts overlooked. The couple that we have been dating...well, we met at a restaurant (after communicating with each other on SLS) and became friends from there. Done. If you tell (most of) the truth, you don't have to have a good memory (Judge Judy).

We met at a wine tasting or met them at a retirement party for a colleague. Keep it VERY simple. One of the things they taught us at cop school is that a lie often has a TON of detail. Keep it simple, it is more believable.

Breaking the rules once can (but not always is) a mistake...breaking them a second time is an 'on purpose'. He is being disrespectful to you...and you are allowing it to happen. Neither of you are ready for this lifestyle and should take a break until your relationship is much stronger and in a better place. I know you love him, but I remember an old story about a man having to break up with tequila. See, he loved tequila with all of his heart, but the tequila didn't love him back and treated him poorly. Not saying that this is what you need to do, just saying sometimes you loving someone isn't enough. Until he loves you and RESPECTS you enough to put you ahead of everything else, you both need to stop. When my SO (or anyone for that matter) leaves the room for any reason when we were playing, we all stop until she returns. We always play together meaning everyone has to be there. If she were to leave without saying something, everything would immediately stop and I would want to know what was going on. That's the way this has to work. He needs to be told this (point him to this board). You should come first always. He seems to know that you are having issues, but he doesn't want to talk about them is not good. You need to have trust and communication on an epic scale. Not wanting to talk is a lack of trust and/or sign of poor communication. Finally, while some couples have been successful with playing with friends, we strongly advise against it since there is already a connection of some sort between friends, but also there is the risk of everyone in your group of friends finding out if things do go south. Bottom line, you need to stop until you both can work on the relationship and he is better at understanding what you want and need. Not for one talk or a week or two, but until the relationship is in a much stronger and better place. Good luck and let us know how things progress.

I had my first male/male encounter in an MFM threesome about 40 years ago. What a surprise, when my VERY straight friend cupped my balls & stroked them while I fucked the young lady with us. The ice broke, & we spent the whole night taking turns fucking her as we stroked & sucked each other in between. The next morning, I felt amazing, & more completely my sexual self. & I have done it many times since.