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Good point by JandK. I’ve had bad first sessions with a couple of partners. We tried again much later and it went well. Even better in subsequent sessions as we figured out what we liked. The first session with a new partner can be awkward.

Just look at the encounters as fun. We are color, nationality and religion blind. If we see a couple say that they don’t play with certain types of people, they are not for us. As a mixed couple, you probably encounter some turbulence. Meet people, see how it goes, have fun. There is nothing predictable about this hobby. The best hitters make an out two out of three times. Just keep swinging.

How about asking your friends that you have already played with. Maybe they can introduce to people they know and you don't. They will be strangers to you but safer than meeting total strangers.

What is is about the men that is giving you problems? Selfish? Boorish? Too small? if they are too small, not much to do about that. Many shortcomings can be overcome though. These men want to please you, maybe you could show them how. We've had many lovers that needed time, practice and guidance.

Swinging is harder than one might expect, and takes a lot of patience...and then some more patience. It sounds like there are several positives to go along with negative, so I would try to stay focused on those and then think about what you can do to maybe increase your success rate at finding compatible couples that you really have good chemistry with. Maybe try some different venues? Maybe branch out a little further and change the location on your profile to reach a new audience? Or, maybe try another personals site all together. Just some ideas.

She may get wet at the thought, the fantasy if you will, but there is a huge difference between getting turned-on by the fantasy and actually wanting to do it. But this is where you two will need to have a long, honest talk with each other about whether this is a fantasy she really wants to fulfill and she's afraid of how you'll feel about it so she's telling you that you're enough, or it's something that is better left a fantasy for her. Of course the only way to find-out is to talk about it, outside the bedroom when you're not hard and she's not wet so that lusty thoughts are clouding rational thinking.

Our first playing was in separate rooms. It may have been a little too much wine. The night was fabulous. Most will say swinging is just sex, this was romantic sex. We made love. No I don’t love him so please don’t say swinging isn’t about love. I know the difference. We had sex in the same room as my husband and his wife. That was sex. It was much different. I am not interested in women. A FMF is not fun for me. Being with two men was meh. I also don’t need to watch my husband. There is something about being alone with a new partner.