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We decided to check out a hotel party near us last Saturday. It was a new group, so we didn't really know what to expect. I'll tell you what we didn't expect, though... We're standing in line at the bar right after we arrive. The host comes over and introduces himself. "Hey. I'm so-and-so. I'm the host." Then, from behind me my wife says, "Oh, this is awkward." Awkward? He's confused. I'm confused. Until... I turn around to see her standing right in front of her boss. Well, we're all adults. We're all there for the same thing. So we acknowledged the awkwardness, exchanged brief small talk, then all went about enjoying the party. Separately. Some bridges you don't cross. The first time in 10 years of swinging that we've ever run into someone we know in vanilla life. Frankly, I can't believe it didn't happen sooner. So, I guess it does actually happen.

We had adventures with five couples. Three were friends before we knew that they were into swinging, or they knew that we were. We remained friends even after we stopped swinging. The 'swinging' was simply something we shared with them and we all enjoyed. Honestly, being friends or neighbors just gives you something more in common than only the sexual attraction and enjoyment.

It happened to us at about five years into our journey. We, like you, could not believe it. But it was not, like you, the boss lady. I was simply a member of the shul (the Jewish congregation). We did, ultimately, have a big laugh about it. You are right. There are some bridges that you do not cross.

This is why we always say don't waste time about meeting for the first time. If it looks like a possible connection, then schedule a meeting for dinner or drinks (only). You will find out more in the first 5 minutes than you ever will via texting or email. On the other hand, at least they said something and didn't just not show up. Better luck with your next meeting.

This matches my "greatest flake" story exactly. All I could think was, "was her ex really this handsome?"

Years ago, we had a date set with a lovely young woman who we were going to take to dinner, then the club for some fun. The day before, she sent us a message that she had suddenly fallen in love with a blind date she'd met the night before. We figured she was just being flaky, but it's a hazard of the lifestyle so why let it ruin our fun. When we arrived at the restaurant that next night, she'd called ahead and had a bottle of champagne waiting with an apology for not being able to join us. Never did hear from her after that. We both hope she's happy and doing well, though.