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We met a couple 4 years ago with whom we connected and played regularly. Unfortunately, he got cancer. We were supportive and loving all through the chemo and surgeries and recovery. Unfortunately, he is no longer sexually functional. We remain friends. When Mrs Doc has vanilla plans of has to go out of town for family things without me, she often invites the other wife over. She told me over the weekend that she's going back to Pa for a weekend in Sept for a hs reunion but she said, "don't worry honey, I called the sitter". This hobby is so much FUN!!

What Gold said!!! Don't feel bad about it. I'm sure they were not bored. Bored couples usually move on. That they continued to interact is indicative that they remained interested. Perhaps that 1st experience with that couple could be the impetus to modify your rules a bit if the couple is there the next time. Discuss too what your next steps could be. Isn't the point of getting your feet wet to progress a bit deeper into the pool? It helps to have a plan for the next one or two baby steps.

There's a dictionary definition for "fit" and beyond that there are many individual definitions. We think we're fit. We exercise, my penis is average but I don't have to use a mirror to see it, Mrs Doc jiggles when she walks but only her boobs. We don't search out dictionary "fit" couples but we do look for HWP couples. On the other hand, we've met couples who say they're HWP but if they had been, both would have been over 8 feet tall! Did they think we wouldn't notice?

Will do! Thanks so much!

They probably did want more to happen, but they already knew your limits and respected them...I don't see what the problem was. It's OKAY to have limits, in fact you NEED to have limits (although they will probably change as time goes on). You current relationship is more important that what another couple MAY want; limits allow you to experiment and see how things go without really threatening the relationship. That they respected your wishes is a good thing, don't feel bad about it, feel great that they are interested enough to wait for you to maybe someday be ready for what they (may or may not, you don't really even know) want. Either way, you have already been there and are back by now. How did it go? What happened?

We've been 'dating' one couple for several years. Sometimes we go out to the movies/dinner/vanilla activity and have a great time then say goodnight, other times we get together just to 'play'. We call each other 'nbbf' (naughty bbf's). Occasionally the wives get together and do a spa day, community walk, or something. Sometimes the guys get together and work on the boat/house/cars. The only thing we do not allow is girl/guy cross interaction. There just isn't any reason for it to happen and just easier/safer/more comforting to keep things this way. So far things really couldn't get much better...

I'm friends with both, when I mean 'connection', I mean that we are both, the husband and I, are chatty on text, volunteer in the community and just always have something to talk about. Our spouses both make fun, because we were all out at a club, and the spouse 'husband' and I were chatting with each other and other people, and they , our spouses, were on the sides being quiet but talking to each other about us being so chatty. It's no problem, it's just funny how opposites do attract for your life partner, but a similar personality in another person is good to hang out with sometimes that's all.

First and foremost, welcome to the community. Second, keep the questions coming, they are all good. It's well to understand that the dance floor at an on-premise club is a bit different than the dance floor at vanilla event. There is an understandable assumption that everyone at the on-premise club is interested, on some level, in the LS. Both of you are, otherwise you would not be planning to attend. You interest at this point may be interest in looking and watching. That's fine. What's important is to not send mixed signals. Let's assume that your wife (and you) have "put your sexy on". Well groomed, attractively (if not provocatively) dressed. You (plural) are in the dance area and one or both of you is approached by a couple and invited to dance. 1. It is perfectly okay to say 'no thank you' at this stage. (It is perfectly okay to say 'no thank you' at any stage, more on that in a moment.) If you (singular or plural) do not want to dance with him/her/them, just say 'no thanks, we're going to sit this one out'. No one will take offense. 2. Alternatively, let's assume that you (plural or singular), have at least some curiosity/interest in dancing with this couple and say yes. You have just agreed to some level of physical contact in an on-premise club. Dance is, after all, something that is done with a partner, and you have agreed--on some level -- to a partner exchange. In a vanilla setting, there is an explicit limit to how far the contact will go. In an on-premise club, there is no explicit limit. 3. In principle, escalation should occur only with clear consent: "May I touch/feel/kiss you?" (True gentlemen in the LS develop ways of asking such questions gracefully, sexily, exquisitely, yet clearly. Practice on your wife. She will tell you what sounds reasonable and even endearing. ) Sometimes, there is an alternative statement, "Please stop me if I say or do something that makes you uncomfortable." More often than not, the man will simply explore the boundary until he is--gently or firmly--asked to back off, stop, or whatever. Your wife should be prepared for this. And she should feel absolutely no discomfort in saying "no" at any time. That is part of the social contract of the LS. 4. Touch is often used as a surrogate for asking permission. A light touch on the arm that is not gently pushed away, an arm around the waist that is not pushed away is a signal of comfort. Pulling the "toucher" closer is a signal to continue. 5. A light kiss is hardly unusual and might even be expected. All of this is readily manageable. Here is what is likely to happen, assuming the other couple is more experienced than you are. This might not happen with the first couple you dance with. Or the second. Or the third. But it will happen. One or the other of them might invite you to have a drink with them after the dance. One or the other of them might ask if the two of you might like to find someplace 'more private'. Among experienced couples, it may well be the wife who says something to you. Really. Women run the LS. What has happened is that the other couple has already somehow communicated that they like you enough to 'get to know you better', and they have just thrown the ball into your court. At this point, you have a decision to make. Stop. Or continue the exploration. This is easy if there are no sparks, there is no chemistry felt by even one member of the foursome. But remember, they asked you to dance, so they already have shown at least a flicker of interest. And by whatever prearranged signal, you agreed that you found them attractive. And then you danced. So there is some probability--again, maybe not in the first or second or third couple but at some point --that all four of you found your dance partners interesting, intriguing, attractive. Here is where it gets interesting. You wrote: My wife is not at a point where she is comfortable with the idea of soft or full swap, (I am but have realized by reading up on this forum that the name of the game here is to go at the slowest partners pace so thats my intent, no pressure on her) so our intent is to go and have a great time and just be with each other sexually in the play area. You have already established that you are comfortable being in the play area and playing in the play area, and others will be watching in the play area. To a high degree of probability, both you and your wife are thinking--"it would be really nice to have this couple be the first to watch us in the play area, as opposed to some random strangers". So here's the advice: 1. Make sure that you have some prearranged non-verbal signals to verify that BOTH of you find a particular couple attractive enough to want to dance in the first place. Both of you should have veto power, no questions asked. And practice declining gracefully. 2. If you are invited to have a drink or more, again make sure that you have some prearranged non-verbal signal to verify that BOTH of you want to move forward. Again, BOTH of you have veto power, no questions asked. 3. When you decide you want to go to the play area, take advantage of your newbie status and say--quietly and clearly--"This is our first-time in an on-premise club. We'd like you to be the first to watch us." If the other couple is at all experienced, they will say "Sounds wonderful. Would you like to head to the play area together or meet us there?" This gives you a chance to confer with each other one more time, if you want. 4. Expect the other couple to be playing nearby in the play area. For the first time at a club, we would suggest that you two stick together as a couple. If there is no couple that you connect with on visit 1, do not fret. It will happen on visit 2. Enjoy the journey.