Did your parents ever catch you ‘doing it’ when you were a kid? Or, have you ever caught your kids? What happened?
I got caught. It was probably 1966. I was 17, she was 18, we’d been boinking for months. The folks said they were going someplace, we took the opportunity and headed for my downstairs bedroom. We’re going at it, hear footsteps upstairs, we both know we’re busted ‘cause her car is parked outside. The footsteps are coming down the steps, she runs into the closet completely naked, I get my pants on. “Where’s Stephanie?” my bitch of a step-mother screams. Then she figures out what’s going on, yells for my father to come down. He stands there and demands Stephanie come out of the closet, I’m saying, “Aw, c’mon Dad!” He finally figures it out, I close the door, Stephanie gets her clothes on and just leaves, I’m there to take the heat. I basically listen to them yelling at me, just silently give them the ‘go fuck yourself’ look.
Funny thing was a few days later my dad tries to give me the birds-and-bees talk, I say don’t worry, we’re on spermicide. He didn’t know what it was, I had to explain it to him.