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I will not need to ask the other nineteen questions. If this is the way that your man behaves, the problems would only become amplified if either of you tried swing.

from Oklahoma, Glittersomemore! The late Mrs. Alura and I promised each other that we would never become angry if a question were asked, no matter what it was, and that we would talk about the question until it was settled to both our satisfactions. I think that was key, not only to swinging, but to almost thirty years of happiness. Do what you feel is right, but in my opinion you won't be able to swing successfully with your man. Nor will you be able to create a lifetime of happiness together.

Relax. Early on it will come up. Be upfront about where you are on your journey. Guess what, most of us have a similar story . The first couple we met were perfectly content to just talk. They explained, asked us questions, gave advice and took us to a dance. After them we were more confident of the path we were on. You never have to step beyond your comfort zone. Anyone who pressures you needs to be dismissed. The two of you need to be first in your own eyes. Anyone worthy of your time will appreciate this.

I agree. If you don't trust your partner, please do not swing with him. It will probably lead to disappointment on your part, and perhaps drama with your swinging partners. Good luck.

We have been trying to do this now for over a year and have yet to bust our cherry as a swinging couple. We met an experienced couple on one SLS last spring/summer and we quickly liked them chatting on Kik. We all shared sexy pics and the flirting was hot and heavy. Eventually we met them at a club this past fall for the first time and boy did we hit it off. Things were looking like we were moving to a play room but they ended up in a fight moments before Mrs. Mixxed and my very first play session. Fast forward to my birthday this past December and Mrs. Mixxed planned a surprise play session with them but low and behold Mrs. Mixxed got sick the day before and canceled. Although they still came up to our area they found a local couple to play with. Now recently all seemed well and we were doing out typical flirting, pic sending on Kik then out of the blue the female half sends a message that the lifetyle is no longer for them! WTF? Especially just 1 hour before I was chatting with the male half on Kik. We were jus about to make plans for a March meet up too. While we totally respect and except their decision to say we are stunned and confused is an understatement. We still like them as a couple hoped that we can still remain plutonic friends. IDK if they did some intelligence and learned what I do for a career (I am in one of the top 5 swinger professions) and don't agree with it, they got tired of all the misfires, something happened in their marriage or what. Just when we both felt comfortable with them and Mrs. Mixxed even wanted to possibly full swap (which is huge for her) they bow out and we have to start from scratch. And people say finding a Unicorn is hard shit finding another couple for us seem harder.

The basic problem is the method we collectively use to find others. Poring through profiles, making inferences about interest based on photos of uncertain provenance, weight/height estimates that are often remembrances of things past, and text that reads more like a skill inventory than a view into the couple. If Amazon can find ads showing us what we desire before we are even aware, can we use those approaches to improve couples matching?

Agree with what others have said. Swinging will stress your relationship in new and innovative ways If there is distrust, or either of you have personal issues around boundaries, honesty, or abuse you need to deal with, those will likely get thrust front and center. With that in mind the above quote certainly throws up some significant red flags. It is my opinion that most successful long term coupled swingers aren't in it for the sex. That might have been the lure (and is certainly part of the fun), but what keeps them here is that playing with others gave them a deep look into the relationship they have with their partner, and they absolutely love what they found there. D

Both my wife and I prefer couples swaps. Yeah, it can be exciting watching my wife doing another guy, but it's even better while my dick's in another woman. If I had to choose a threesome, it would be MFF. I can lick and fuck at the same time. My wife's bi, so it happens.

Sounds delightful, but I and the other women need dick as well and cum in us to call it a good night. I hope those ten guys didn't masturbate to completion, wasting all that semen. My best night, from an earlier post: This past weekend was the greatest. Not only did Frank come over and Becky (who doesn't play) came as well to watch the children, but also Walter (Lora's ex-husband) was visiting the city nearby and we invited him. (When in our earlier poly family incarnation of 2 guys/2 women, we used to swing with Lora and Walter when they were married; after they split and Lora moved in with us, we sometimes invite Walter to play.) So for two days this weekend we three girls had four guys to satify us! In our usual family situation, two of us girls gets one good session from a guy, the third girl gets second efforts from them, then we're left still wanting, trying to suck up flaccid dicks to interest and hardness again. But with Frank and Walter there, there was a guy for every girl with one left over, and the competition got David's and Red's interest going again much faster. I've been with five guys in my life and four of them were with me (and in me) this weekend.

It's hard not to get discouraged! Brush it off and get back to hunting. This time, chat up a few couple's. Give yourselves a few options and have fun with it. I have learned to see the signs of people not ready and not give too many chances. I recently had a misunderstanding via messages with a unicorn, and we won't be grovelling. My husband and I are good fucks so it's her loss! ??

By all means explore swinging if you are curious. Personally though I would not try it with someone who behaves as you describe. For that matter I wouldn't be with someone who behaves like that.

We prefer committed couples, not necessarily those married long term. Our experience is that short term couples tend to be prone to drama. Mrs Doc and I met in our 40's after long marriages and started to explore swinging six months into our relationship. It was hard to tell that we were a relatively new couple since we behaved like the long term married people we had been. People were surprised when we told them we'd been dating for less than a year. 16 years later, damned if we aren't a long term married couple again!!

Well I am most intrigued by what a top 5 swinger profession is and why it would bother anyone. If you want to be a swinger, you need to have a thicker skin and a wider net. You are going to get rejected more than accepted. Lord knows why people say no. My newest theory, hatched today, is that my wife is very attractive and it is intimidating other wives. But who knows. Maybe it’s me. The couple you selected as playmates obviously has issues. Wipe the slate clean and find another couple. You can find them on line, at a club, meet and greet or party. Rinse and repeat.

We just need to find ways to meet people. We want to, we're just very nervous about it all (and timid). There has to be an easy way to get started! We had a single male come to visit her, but we haven't been able to move forward from there...