Leaderboard

Excellent questions. Swing clubs are social and sexual. Moreover, as a single male it is essential to remember that you are there to fulfill a couple's (or a lady's) fantasy, not the other way around. Things that matter: 1. Perfect grooming and hygiene. From eyebrows to toenails, you want to be at least attractive to all five senses. 2. Choose clothes that are simple yet in perfect repair. Choose neither exotic nor elaborate--you are a blank canvas for others' thoughts. 3. Be rested. Avoid depressants such as alcohol. No street drugs of any kind. You may find it useful to "drink socially at the party". Very light drinks (such as a white wine 'spritzer') or not at all. 4. Smile. Let your expression and body language be open to all. 5. Choose conversational topics that are at least upbeat. Think about how you might compliment a lady on her dress, her shoes, her jewelry, whatever. As a single male you have to strike a balance between letting people come to you and reaching out to those who seem either interested or isolated. The latter is important. It happens from time to time that the gent goes to the swinger club and does not stay close to the lady. One of your most important tasks is to spot ladies who seem not only isolated but even uncomfortable. Your greatest successes will come in making those ladies feel wonderful about the club and wanting to come back. People who come to swinger clubs are there to fulfill fantasies. As a single male, that's your role--to help singles and couples fulfill fantasies. Have three or four ways of asking about their fantasies for the evening, and what you might do to help fulfill them. Listen carefully, and look at body language. At some point, intimacy will be suggested. After all it is a social and sexual experience. You must learn to ask two things with clarity and with grace. The first is asking for consent. The second is asking for boundaries or limits. This will seem terribly awkward at first. With practice it will be easier. Once you have established consent and limits, it is important to ask likes and dislikes, turn ons and turn offs. Again, it will seem awkward at first. Ask both, but especially listen to the lady. Ladies run the lifestyle. Err on the side of safe sex. Err on the side of gentleness. Focus on her pleasure. Regardless of the experience, make sure you tell every lady or couple how wonderful the experience was for you and how they are unbelievably hot. No one goes into the fantasy with the idea they are terrible at intimacy. At the same time, if the gentleman asks you what you did to make is lady scream with pleasure, be generous with the information. Have a plan and toiletries and extra clothes as needed to freshen up after a play session. The next couple wants you to be just as fresh. Never, ever, "kiss and tell". What you do with one lady or two ladies or a couple or whatever the scene happens to be, it is for others to discuss and never you. Such discretion will always be appreciated. Do not ask for their names or contact information; however be generous with yours if asked. They will remember you to the club and to other members. Above all, remember the golden rule: do unto others. Good luck.

Hi everyone! I'm new to this forum but decided to write a thread because of the following: - I'm a single guy (know how it sounds...) in his late 30's who've been invited to an audtion night at a swinger's club. The question is, how should I behave during my first visit? Should I just be myself? Should I walk around and introduce myself to others? What unwrittten rules and social codes are at play? Why am I doing this? Because I love sex & erotics and because I enjoy giving pleasure to others, maybe fullfilling their dream. When they feel good, I feel good. My worst fear is that I'll be isolated and keeping to myself, with others judging me as a freak. It's difficult to prove that I'm a serious and respectable guy by just writing here but I consider myself being one. Hope to get some advice, and thank you in advance!

There are many first timers who start out with a single male. We did and found out that those times were the best times. I'm not saying everyone so lower your weapons Just be yourself. Don't try to be the person you think other people might want. Let them decide. It's an audition. If you are not someone that handles rejection well then maybe you should try a different approach.

I wanted to avoid this but felt the need to say this, as little help as it will be. I haven't been diagnosed as bi-polar but I know enough about the disorder to know I am probably there. Hyper sexuality has been the bane of our relationship for all 40 years. This can be managed. I went to therapy, got on the pills and moved 'forward'. My wife, who is full of life, loving new experiences, and wanting to laugh as much as possible, was living with a shell of who I was. Sure, I was no longer a sex addict, no longer freaking the fuck out at every little issue. I also was no longer quick witted, no longer an amazing, inventive lover, just a zombie. Through a breech in the mental health system, I was forced off the pills. The problems returned. We are managing them as best we (she) can. The only way a marriage can survive this issue is with a spouse who is capable of dealing with the consequences of remaining married. She did give me very good advise "don't put yourself in a position where the opportunity can arise". I was constantly doing that, feeding the addiction. I stopped, the problem is there, the drive is strong but since I'm nowhere I can do anything about it, I don't. I can't. We have agreed on me having a fwb which I do, who I see now and then, who my wife is aware of but doesn't want to know when or what I do. Having somewhere to go to bleed off the desire has been a big help. It's just the guilt is really horrible. I feel for ya. Really though man, avoid the LS as much as possible.

If we have to define a prostitute or a swinging woman for you, you're either a 14 year old troll in mommy's basement hunched over a computer or you're simply ignorant.

Swinging isn’t a one size fits all sport. There also isn’t a single answer to cover every aspect of your question. Mostly though it’s like everything else in life, you get out of it in direct relation to what you put in it. It’s kind of like the fisherman that goes to the lake with one lure, he usually doesn’t do as well as the fisherman who brings a number of tricks to cover every occasion. My advice would be to keep an open mind and don’t tie yourself down to a single fantasy. Swinging is about sex and having fun. Your mindset should be to have fun and enjoy yourself. Sex is best when spontaneous. Be open and inviting with the people you meet, and be open about what you’re looking for. Don’t focus on what you don’t like or won’t engage in, instead focus on the positive of what you are interested in. You will find swingers everywhere, your focus should be on what you're going to do when you cross paths with them instead of where to find them.

We don't post ANY certs. Nobodies business who we have been out with. We are looking for quality not quantity so we stay towards other couples with low or no certs. Bottom line is it depends what you are looking for.