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Hello. Since everyone has been so helpful on this forum, I wanted to check in and give our first timers report. This is not really an erotic post. So, feel free to skip it if no interested. We arrived at Colette Dallas about 9:30, which is a little too early IMO. As everyone here had said, the hardest part was walking through the door. As first timers, we received the grand tour from the host. Being a saturday night and also sdc.com night, it was really packed later. I would say there were easily 200 couples with most late arrivals (around midnight). For us as first timers, the big crowd was a plus as it allowed us to see the different types of people that the club attracts and meet lots of different people. It didn't take very long for us to settle in and become comfortable socializing with other couples. The dance floor was lively and that led to a lot of social interaction. As has been said in the forum, everyone that we met were friendly and patient with us being first timers. Nobody was pushy and boundaries were respected. Yes we were propositioned. But, it was done with class. I think the way LS clubs will work for us in the future is that we will go with no expectations, only to have fun with similar, open-minded couples and individuals. We certainly like the sexually charged environment. If the right situation comes up, we are both open to the idea of taking it further. We trust each other and agreed that no boundaries were needed. If something more had happened that night, I really think we would be comfortable with anything that took place. We considered playing in one of the private rooms with each other before leaving, to break the ice. But, all the curtains were drawn as it was packed. In fact, you could barely make it through the hallways where the semi-private and private rooms were located. We also noticed that most women seem either full bi or at least bi curious. I was asked a lot if my wife plays with other women. My response was that while she is open-minded and would play along, she really prefers men. At least, those have been my wife's words to me. I am not sure if bi or bi-curious women are ok with that or not. Overall, we had a blast. after the first hour we thought it might be a short night. But, it was 2:30 before we left. Would we return to Colette (or another club) ? Absolutely. It just won't be a frequent thing for us. But, the door has been opened and there was nothing negative to turn us off in the future. I know there is not much erotic here about my reply. But, it might help other first timers that are nervous about taking the leap. Cheers

Probably, but one can hope. We've laughed at the slinger ads too but we think there should be a follow-up ad. A couple walks into a party with 3-4 couples wrapped in towels. The hostess greets the couple with, "Hi, you're a little late but round two should start soon." The very prim wife looks at the husband and says, "Honey, I thought this was a slinger party" as she starts to unbeaten her blouse.

At the family resorts one will see, well, families with children of all ages. That's what seems a bit weird to me. Except that listening in to my European colleagues talk about it, their teenagers seem to be much better adjusted having seen most of their classmates naked at one time or another. Like drinking in Europe, the mystery and hyper-fascination with nudity is removed because it starts with the family under adult supervision in small steps at a young age.

I wrote this for a blog at some point: ~~~~~~~~~ Are you a cuckold? And do you care? In this world, cuckold is usually considered to be a derogatory term. Technically, any husband who's wife sleeps with other men is a cuckold, and society automatically condemns him. (Of course, any wife who sleeps with other men is a ‘slut’ and is condemned, but that’s another blog!) In actuality, there are three different connotations of the word ‘cuckold.’ If your wife is sleeping around, one of them fits you. The first usage is ‘standard’ and has a historical context behind it. The term was invented in the middle of the eleventh century and comes from ‘cuckoo’ - that bird has the habit of using other bird’s nest to lay their eggs. It usually meant a man who’s wife was having adulterous affairs with one or more other men. This was a big deal well into the nineteenth century, because a wife was a man’s property. There are plenty of court cases where men sued other men for improper usage of their goods. Of course, if they brought the Earl to court, the men usually got snickered at. This definition continues into modern time to describe a man who’s spouse is cheating on him without his knowledge or agreement. Now, of course, girls are much more equal than they used to be, and I suspect that many more married women are sharing themselves than used to be before the women’s liberation movement and the invention of effective birth control. (I, for one, applaud the revolution!) In the modern context, the term ‘cuckold’ has evolved. The second definition is used for some men who have the fetish of their wives having sex outside the marriage and humiliating them in the process. The affront can start with simple embarrassment of the man, (“I slept with Jake today, what are you going to do about it?) to the wife forcing him to watch as she screws someone. She might tell him about the large size of the man who’s screwing him, comparing it to his tiny penis. She might make him wear a cock cage so that he isn’t allowed to orgasm except when she’s willing. Often, he tends to think of himself as a sissy. While this isn’t my cup of tea, if it makes you happy, who am I to judge? Finally, there’s the ‘modern’ definition. Today there are many couples who engage in swinging and/or hotwifing. With her husband’s permission and (sometimes) participation, a wife is promiscuous. In these situations, the man is technically a cuckold. But since he doesn’t view his wife as ‘property’, he isn’t upset or threatened by her infidelity. In fact he often encourages it to both their pleasure. Are you a cuckold? If so, which kind?

Thank you all so much for the great advice! I feel so supported (and not alone!) in this community.

Take your top off in our pool and you'll get a lot of interest…..from both of us!! Sounds to me like you just need to move on and find a new couple.

There's definitely a rhythm to life here, not just on times of day and days of the week but also months throughout the year too. A bit of Swingers Board trivia - the day of the year with the lowest number of page views? Christmas Day.

I think you have several preconceived notions probably stashed in your spank bank. A swinging couple are likely already satisfied with their spouse. Sex with others, for either of us, is recreational and is not as a result of any short comings we find in one another. Add recreational sex to your spank bank too.

I'm certainly no expert, but I fully endorse at least two of Alura's concepts: emotional monogamy, and rejection of the cuckold idea in favor of "hotwife." I know that is playing with labels, but the principles involved, in my mind are: 1) Total respect between you and your spouse, 2) Desire on my part to provide every opportunity for her to have the most varied and best possible experiences, and 3) Make sure we explore the experiences that accomplish all of this MUTUALLY. Selfishness and disrespect do not fit with any of this.

Bear and I are 51 - we prefer couples from 40-60. Our kids range in age from 22-33 and we agreed it’d be too weird for us to go lower in age than our kids. The other night We met a group of people in their late 20’s and we had some great conversation but it was too similar to talking to our kids and their friends so we kept it light and fun.

Yes, our poly family and Frank did play last night. I woke up with Lora and hubby. Red and Clair are sleeping together.

We started "in the lifestyle" with my wife playing alone. It was with guys she dated, had relationships, and fucked before me so there was no nervousness and no safety or security concerns. It made her comfortable in our start to swinging, moving to me joining in MFMs, FMFs, and now couples, which we prefer, either swaps, threesomes, or just alone play.

The wife met a guy at a bar from SLS. This is the first time she's met anyone alone, so I was a bit nervous. Our unicorn helped her get ready for the date. I told her if he acts weird in any way, call me or tell someone from the bar to walk her to her car. So they had drinks and apps, then i got a text that they were heading to the backseat! She came home shorty after and handed me her bra and panties...then told me all the hot details of how they played in the parking lot! All in all I would say it was a success.

It almost did. We went back on Saturday night after much debate and had a much more enjoyable time. Headed back in September for another Saturday night. Hoping to do more than just watch this time, but only what the Mrs. is comfortable with.

My wife and I got into the lifestyle recently, about last six months. We did a ton of research. Actually, this forum helped to answer many questions we had before we ultimately decided to jump in. Jump in we did. We made a couple of profiles on free sites, and began talking to some couples online. At first, we really didn't know what we wanted, other than to spice up our sex lives. The first couple we spoke with, in hindsight, was pretty aggressive. I won't go into details, but we ended up hooking up with them on a first date after a few weeks of very flirtatious chatting. They ended up being a little too different from us. After a couple of other dates with different couples, we realized that we were looking for friends with benefits. I mean, we're not club people, and sex parties never sounded appealing to us, but we still wanted to bang other couples together! The only other couple we've hooked up with since we got into the lifestyle, seem to be what we were looking for. We made a good first impression, and on the second date, we made it to the bedroom with them. It started a little rough, and not in a good way. I had some performance issues the first time with her, but those have since been resolved. We chat with them on a regular basis(several days per week), and we've seen them several times since our first vanilla meeting. My wife and I, are looking forward to continuing to build our relationship with these two. They are good people, and I'm happy to call them friends. Friends that have a good time together on a king size bed, banging each other's spouses! All that said, I don't know how big of a part we will play in this couple's lives, but we're going to ride the wave till the end. Why not, it'll be fun while it lasts!

Relax. Early on it will come up. Be upfront about where you are on your journey. Guess what, most of us have a similar story . The first couple we met were perfectly content to just talk. They explained, asked us questions, gave advice and took us to a dance. After them we were more confident of the path we were on. You never have to step beyond your comfort zone. Anyone who pressures you needs to be dismissed. The two of you need to be first in your own eyes. Anyone worthy of your time will appreciate this.

Update: We are still with this couple, and we have fallen for them! It seems this sort of thing is rare! It's been a wild ride to this point, and we did hit a little bump in the road, but it's all good now. Next up is a trip to the mountains in Colorado!

This couple didn't end up working out with us. We found a new couple not long after I posted this thread. They are amazing people, and it's turned into so much more than swinging. We met them for the first time, alittle over a month ago, and connected with then instantly. It's been intense! We've spent time with them every weekend since we started chatting, and even took a roadtrip to Galveston last weekend. We were sure we wanted friends with benefits, but we've all come to the conclusion that this is a poly relationship. It's not what we were looking for, but it's what we found, and it's wonderful!

If this was easy, everybody would be doing it. In many ways, swinging is worse than high school. Then, all you had to do was like the other person and ultimately decide how far you wanted to go in the back of a Plymouth. With swinging, you need some kind of 4-way connection and after that is established you need common ground on rules of engagement. Generally speaking, the venues are better than a Plymouth but everything else requires effort and thought and some degree of trial and error.