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MFMs allow my wife to enjoy herself and build up her sexual ego. That's enough for me, but there are benefits for me. I get to watch her perform, join in the fun.

The opinions expressed here are not necessarily those of the management. I hope the analogy is not too strained. I suspect that too many people "shop" for the "just right" playmates using the same logic used when shopping for a major purchase like an automobile. They are aware of a model has all of the features they want but it's really expensive and decide to go to a different car dealer to look for others. They find one that has most of the features they want but it's the showroom model and when it's gone, there will be no other available. They see a pre-owned, reconditioned model. It works great but they wonder what their friends will think when it is discovered that they acquired an older model. It's 1:00 am and they realize that the somebody else snatched up the showroom model and they continue to fear what friends will think if they are seen with a used car. I have observed that people of my age find play partners early in the evening and are more likely to take a chance on a test drive.

We are exclusive now with two other couples. We had a serious talk about no cheating, and decided it was what we wanted to do so we could go bareback, do anal or anything else without fear. For now at least, it is enough for all of us. We've agreed that if it ever isn't we'd whoever would give notice first.

Are you here because you are researching and trying to work up the nerve to bring up the idea of swinging? Or have you alreaday brought it up and you are now both researching together? Which half of the couple (if a couple) are you and which one of you brought up the idea of swinging? If it hasn't been brought up yet, then share what you are hoping to discover.

Has anyone ever had an "exclusive" relationship with another couple/person? Meaning, you and your partner only play with 1 other couple or person? How do you bring that up to the other couple as an option? I don't want them to feel pressured to say yes. I am leaning towards asking the female by herself (due to the dynamics of their relationship) and ask her to speak with her mate about it. We have been seeing this couple on and off for about 2 years. To my knowledge, it has been exclusive, though not necessarily intentionally. I could see the guys' (in this case) fear being that going exclusive takes away the "fucking someone new" aspect of swinging which they like.

I group we know in a DC suburb is called "Saturday Afternoon Play". The door is open at noon and everybody is out by 8:00 pm.

Great advise on submitting edited pics, Alura! And also having the wife pop that magic question! Ed

1)She's my favorite porn star. I love watching her flirt then seduce then get busy. 2)It's an ego boost for me that other guys want her. 3)There is pride in our relationship that I can enjoy her taking pleasure from another man. 4)I get to be a part of it. 5)It's an ego boost for her to be desired and the sex for days and even weeks after is always intense. Sex in most forms is a turn on for me. I like watching and I like participating. Anytime that is happening I'm interested. If I'm involved even better How does she like it? She loves it or she wouldn't do it. I don't own her and I have never talked her into or forced her to do something she didn't want to do. I will agree with Achilles, when she gets going she is such a flirt, so seductive and gets incredibly turned on I think the pheromones she gives off just make guys cum before they even get started good. I've never had an expectation that because she gets to have MFM that at some point I'll get to have FMF. I'd love it but I don't expect it. We also swap so I get to have my fun with other women.

We heard of a local group that was called “Down and dirty by 9:30.” There motto was Home In bed by 2:30. Not sure if it’s an urban legend or what but never got any info.

Haha Gold-- yes, my entire life is filled with people making fun of me for eating early and going to bed earlier than my father. Oh well. I do what works for me I'm in my 30's if that makes you feel any better. You can always say that someone in their 30's has the same preference for time as you.

We have been 'exclusive' with another couple for 4-5 years (?). We call it 'couples dating'. We get together around once a month and have done multiple vacations with each other. The exclusivity just kind of developed since we when we started out we only planned on 'dating' (be it the same or a different couple) one weekend a month and they filled our dance card.

Most lottery tickets are not winners...Swinging with friends (IOHO) is like buying a lottery ticket. For some it has worked out great, but most of the time it will lead to disappointment. The price of the ticket (for us) isn't worth the potential winnings. Not saying that others will have the same result, but if you choose to travel this path, be aware of the potential problems from the start.

We kind of stay away from the clubs for this very reason. We WANT to go more often, but the closest club to us is 2 hours away and we are also morning people. We live on a ranch and I can't remember the last time we weren't awake by 7am (usually earlier) and really ready for bed by 10. Going to a club then means most likely staying overnight in a hotel (not a big deal but it does require a bit more prep and planning), but when we are already fading at 10pm (and the club only opened at 9)...well, by midnight we are DONE. If a club opened earlier...say 7pm, we would be there! Problem with that is most people have it programmed into their heads that the party doesn't start until late (midnight or later) and so they just don't go until late. We actually enjoy playing in the afternoon. This way there's no rush or time crunch. Laying around the pool relaxing, BBQ some dinner, just having a good time and good conversation without any pressure is the way to do 'it' (plus it's much easier to see what is going on ). Once you've tried this, most will find that this is a great way to play. Until our 'local' club starts having an 'early bird' opening, we will continue to not attend as often as we would like. We wish we could attend more, but our bodies say otherwise (I feel like we're asking for a Dennys senior early bird menu here...ugh!). Getting old does have some drawbacks (although neither of us would be swingers if we were any younger)...

YES! We are early risers (generally by 5am most days). I require more sleep than most people, so we are usually in bed by 8pm. If I am out and about, I have a better chance at staying awake, but the clubs here don't open until 9pm. No one arrives or starts playing until after midnight. Even on the nights when the club opens at 7:30pm. It is so frustrating. Even outside the clubs, couples we meet want to do things late. I would much prefer to get the ball rolling earlier in the day. On weekends, mid day sex? Why not? Staying up that late really throws me off for a few days. I disagree about it being better than Netflix and popcorn. I am a homebody at heart. I'd rather just stay at home and do our own thing. We don't have much luck at local clubs anyways, but the husband likes the environment and atmosphere. I like the music (when they play good music) part of the atmosphere. And pretending that, (as long as I don't look around too much and spoil the illusion) there are people there that find me desirable.

First off: we are all broken in some manor...sexually, emotionally, physically, spiritually. Anyone who has lived any time at all has been broken in some way. You are not special in this and you are not alone. The trick is not to focus on your brokeness, but knowing that it is there, put it away and try not to repeat the same mistakes. When I first met Ms. Gold, she told me that she was all messed up, broken, but I didn't see the broken parts...and later I realized that what she took as being broken are things that I really kind of liked about her. What she took as a shortcoming, I take as a benefit and a positive. Don't dwell on your perceived shortcomings, know that they are there, but keep them put away. As for everything else: neither of you should be thinking about swinging or hotwifing or whatever at this point. Swinging is a team sport, something that you both do together to make a great relationship even better. It will also break a weak relationship, utterly and completely. Your relationship sounds closer to being a weak one than being a great one. That doesn't mean all hope is gone. Work on rebuilding your love, trust and communication. Make all three as strong as possible, and then return to this conversation. Relationships that have been together for awhile...well, there are usually things that crop up and break down, usually in communication. You need to bet back to a point where you can, will, and want to tell each other everything (without fear of punishment, shock, or retribution). Instead of thinking about bringing others in, maybe think of your SO as a new person that you are just starting to date again. Start over and fix the cracks in the relationship. Make the relationship strong again. Start doing the things you used to do (like dating). If you continue on the path you are currently on, I just don't see it ending well. It sounds like she is 'interested', but I worry that she is interested for the wrong reasons (finding a replacement instead of just finding some fun). Take a step back to reevaluate things and work on the relationship. You have cracked Pandora's box open, but before opening the lid any more, make sure the two of you are back in sync and working as a team again. Then and only then you can revisit the idea of swinging in whatever manner you want, but please work on where you are before you find yourself somewhere you don't want to be. Good luck.

Is the lack of confidence because you don't feel like you've had as many experiences as you thought you might? njbm and SAMnTINA are both right. It's not easy. We've left our club several times without engaging with others any more than conversation. When it doesn't happen you can still enjoy each other. If you lack confidence in general then that probably is dragging you down. If you're comparing yourself to others and feel like you don't measure up for whatever reason, just stop it. Sounds like you've got a good woman and a great relationship. She obviously sees something in you. Together the two of you have made it to the point of wanting to do this together. I'd say you have a lot to be proud of and a great deal to be confident in.

Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs to find a prince or princess, not every one is compatable, just hang in there. Over the years we have met some fun people had some hot sex and ended up with some funny stories. Kind of like unwrapping a present you don't always get what you want, and sometimes you get things you did not want but find out they are still a lot of fun. Good luck and don't give up to easy. Remember it's better to be easy than give up easy!