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OK, I'll start this. The absolute best for me was the ability to really talk to my spouse. Before we indulged in swinging, it just seemed like some topics were taboo. After we'd both had sex with other people, we could finally share fun details of our experiences before we were married. And, even better, we could comment to each other about people we see. I loved her becoming my best buddy as well as my wife.

We are friendly with a couple and have played several times. At our last session, the other husband was a little too romantic for my wife and my taste. He told her he would dream about her that night and did a few other things that were sort of possessive, clingy and characteristic of a bf/gf relationship. We both felt he was being disrespectful to his wife and we were uncomfortable. We see them at house parties and we do things with them of a vanilla nature ( have one thing planned) , but we both feel icky about it. It is not jealousy for me, my wife agrees it is over the top. We both swing together for variety and fun, but other husbands are respectful and do not make it like my wife is their new gf, to the detriment of their wife. Discuss with him? Downshift? Cut ties? We both like the wife.

I would like to state the reasons For playing with friends. I see on to Poll topic on this board this topic never ends. The great majority say don’t play with friends, not even friends you have made while playing with them. I ask, who better to play with? I understand some people like to have sex with strangers. No attachments sometimes without even know a name. Have sex, go home. I had one nighters as a single woman. I’ve had a number in college as well. To be honest I had guilt after one nighters. Self doubt. I know I am younger than most on here but I am sure the vast majority had one nighters. My intro to the LS was with a colle friend. I was the unicorn. It was a threesome and I had sex with a girlfriend. It did cause guilt. Guilt of having sex with a female. Guilt of cheating on my boyfriend. What I loved was having fun with someone who I have shared many other fun things with. Our relationship was not based on sex alone. I soon learned that other friends from college were into playing too. It surprised me at first. My boyfriend, who I have since married was upset with my newfound experience. I think with the help of a few girlfriends his being upset was turned into being the luckiest guy. For the most part our play friends are friends of mine from college and live hours from us. We have met new friends mostly from my old friends. We enjoy the parties we have gone to. We also enjoy tailgating, going to games, and just hanging out. Not everything is sex. Bringing our LS to our local friends was scary for me because I read the downside so many have written about. My husbands best friend and then my best friend. Our guy friend was very eager to play. Surprise surprise. What really amazed me was the willingness of my girlfriend wanting to join me and my husband. Both of these people are close friends who we enjoy being with. Our friendships go much further than sex. Sex has just added a new dynamic to what we already have. The only thing that might be better, and I did say might, would be my girlfriends willingness to be more open with bisexual play. I respect her and won’t push.

It's not just big and small, although I agree my wife and I like all the different sizes, it's also the shape, how they hang, how they bounce. And don't get me started on nipples! The variety is wonderful.

There are some remarkable truths in this post. Connections do matter. For some couples, that connection is purely at the level of fantasy--dress up in some costume and connect at a party while playing a role (e.g. "naughty schoolgirl"). For others--and we count ourselves in this group--the connections that matter are grounded in reality. We have to like the other couple. Perhaps more important, we have to trust the other couple. Without "like" and "trust", a connection cannot be made. "Why," you ask? Because the values of honesty, affection, trust, communication, and honor--values that underpin swinging--are the values that keep us close and our relationship strong. Random hookups run counter to those values. Attraction will occur based on physical appearance, presentation, confidence. Durable connections require much more. The search for those durable connections outside a marriage has the desired secondary effect of illuminating and strengthening bonds inside the marriage--at least it did for us.

Yes, it might be minimal investment "fishing". An alternate explanation is that the authors have forgotten (or never acquired) basic social skills. In our era of emoji-laden texts, communication that is respectful, meaningful, and direct has become rare. Given that the LS is essentially "adult dating" and thus requires some semblance of etiquette, respect, and sensitivity, we tend to ignore contacts limited to "Hi!". We receive them especially frequently on Kik, where they are clearly robotic in origin.

Exactly how we broke in, which then turned into wanting to be watched. Blossomed from there. GoldCoCouple is absolutely right. Go to a club, don't be afraid to watch others. Part of the reason they are there is because they like to be watched. You guys would be doing them a solid - same as they are doing for you by allowing you to watch them. Club is the way to go. Good luck, and have fun.

Hi!

This seems to be a lot like what I think we are looking for us as well with people we can have a connection with. We have found out so far that's gonna be harder to find but like you stated it's already enhanced our sex just just getting started exploring. It's made us both more comfortable with our selves.

We saw this a lot from single guys but some couples as well when we had an online profile. I suspect the "couples" were male dominated in most cases meaning the guy did all the online stuff. In both cases, my analogy is that they are fishing with a trot line. They're putting a lot of hooks in the water, as many as they can, with a little bit of bait on each hoping the fish will do all the work and jump on the hook. If they put a thousand hooks out there and are successful 1 percent of the time that's 10 connections. You can't spend any time on any one couple(fish) though. You've got to keep moving and baiting. Writing and then copying and pasting a form introduction would be slightly better but it's easy enough to see through so the same 1% is probably going to respond. They need to be fishing with a crank bait. Cast a a single line and make a skillful presentation of the bait to the couple(fish), work it a little, maybe even throw it back to the same spot a few times if you know the prey is there.(A couple that openly says they want what you offer or a fish you can see in the water). Show them or tell them why it would be a good idea to bite and then follow up especially if there is a nibble. Just put it on your profile what you need to hear from them. If they can't read the profile and do what you ask they aren't going to be worth spending any time on. They're fishing with a trot line and obviously you need to see a crank bait. Don't waste your time responding. Just ignore them or block them and keep looking. Sorry if the analogy is confusing or offensive in any way.

As a guy this thread makes me feel like a cut of meat attached to a swinging penis...And I'm totally OK with that

I think a lot of couples, particularly new ones, are embarrassed to be in the lifestyle. Some would like nothing better than to meet nameless in a dark room. Perhaps you and your husband should draft a "form" letter to send to inquirers that expands on the information in your profile and asks them to respond in kind. Spend your efforts on those who are willing to tell you who they are and what they seek. Your title is what it should be, to the point. Good job!

We had a similar situation. The guy half of our first couple was got to be sneaky, tried to kiss me when no one was looking, was always grabbing me and this was outside of playtime. He was generally just too involved. This couple also did not seem to enjoy being with each other as much, they never really touched each other or seemed to communicate. Come to find out he was cheating on her with another woman. We just got an icky feeling from him like he would have replaced her with me very easily. We are no longer friends.

I think we're beginning find out how subjective it all is. Hubby and I decided a while back we want to play - but with certain rules. And the worlds not going to end or our relationship be any less happy if it doesnt happen. We also don't want it to be just the physical act of sex/lust with strangers, but with someone or a couple we truly like and feel some sort of connection/compatibilty with on some level. Others, however, don't seem to care as long as they get their rocks off. For us, we know this means it could take longer to find the people/person, but we're ok with that. It's our lives, so whatever happens in that area will be on our terms. Even if we only get to keep on pretending and playing with toys, that great because we love each other.

Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs to find a prince or princess, not every one is compatable, just hang in there. Over the years we have met some fun people had some hot sex and ended up with some funny stories. Kind of like unwrapping a present you don't always get what you want, and sometimes you get things you did not want but find out they are still a lot of fun. Good luck and don't give up to easy. Remember it's better to be easy than give up easy!