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If you read through the many posts here, you'll find that a lot of couples want to have threesomes. And some, like your friends, prefer the third to be someone they already know, trust, and like. OK, just so you'll know, there are two types of threesomes that involve a married couple and another guy. MFM is when, as it appears, the wife is the center of attention and the husband and other man attend to her. In this case it's sometimes only the other male and the wife together and the husband just knows and/or watches. In a MMF, as it appears, the husband is bisexual and the three are all involved with all. I suggest that you give this some thought and then discuss it with your friend. First of all, if you and his wife were single and met at a bar, would you want to be with her? If so, this might be a really fun thing for you. If not, you probably wouldn't be doing this couple a favor by going along. Just tell your friend that you'd really not be comfortable with it. I don't think you'd be here if you weren't interested. Take your time. Talk to your friend in length. Ask if they've done this before. Ask if there would be any rules, or limits, that you should be aware of. Talk to her and make sure that she's not just doing it for him. If everything sounds good, just flirt with her and let her know that you're flattered that they chose you. And, most important of all, always remember that you are their marital sex aid. OK, just two cents worth from someone who was the third for over five years for a great couple. And, I'll always have wonderful memories of that relationship.

The freedom of knowing if you meet someone and feel a sexual desire for them you know you can have that desire satisfied with your spouses blessing.

For my wife and I, it was the other way around. We are each others best friends, so there weren't any taboo subjects for our conversations. Talking about our past loves, then more casual relationships generally, then getting into the details of what we did and enjoyed with them sexually turned us (me at least) on. We (at least I) weren't thinking about swinging, but our conversations led me to think, then tell my wife that if she wanted to fuck a guy she told me she really enjoyed from her past, it was more than OK with me. She did, it was fun for us, now we both have fun with like-minded couples. As for the best thing to result from our actual swinging? The sex. The sex with other people and between us, and the feeling that we have reached our full sexual potential.

Here’s to friends We agree that friends make the best play partners

Has anyone ever had an "exclusive" relationship with another couple/person? Meaning, you and your partner only play with 1 other couple or person? How do you bring that up to the other couple as an option? I don't want them to feel pressured to say yes. I am leaning towards asking the female by herself (due to the dynamics of their relationship) and ask her to speak with her mate about it. We have been seeing this couple on and off for about 2 years. To my knowledge, it has been exclusive, though not necessarily intentionally. I could see the guys' (in this case) fear being that going exclusive takes away the "fucking someone new" aspect of swinging which they like.

OK, I'll start this. The absolute best for me was the ability to really talk to my spouse. Before we indulged in swinging, it just seemed like some topics were taboo. After we'd both had sex with other people, we could finally share fun details of our experiences before we were married. And, even better, we could comment to each other about people we see. I loved her becoming my best buddy as well as my wife.

So, the wife & I paid our first ever visit to a club at the weekend. This was the very first time for us both as we are total newbies to the lifestyle. We had discussed at length over the last few months what we were happy to do, we set boundaries but went with a complete open mind because we weren't exactly sure what to expect but were certain we were not going to go past our limits this time. So we got there & got checked in to our room (this club has separate hotel rooms for those wishing to stop over & it's an hour & half drive for us). We got ready, shirt & trousers for me & our lass in a stunning Basque & stockings under a velvet dress. We were shown round by one of the club staff who was very helpful. By then a few couples had started to arrive so we grabbed a drink & sat down. Now we had already decided about how far we were prepared to go if we met a couple that we liked but we sat & watched for a while just to get a feel for the night & how a club night went. After a few hours a few of the ladies vanished off to the locker room & returned looking stunning....lace, leather, boots, heels ??. There was one couple that caught both of our attention but they seemed very popular with other folk as they arrived so we didn't bother them. We had a look around the play rooms but by then it was getting way too hot for our lass in her outfit so we went back upstairs where she changed into a baby doll & heels & went back down. We found a private play room & went for a cuddle & 20 mins us time & spoke about how we both felt so far & all was great....She felt sexy! That alone made the evening for me as she's ALWAYS been so down & unconfident with her body but seeing her walking around in a club wearing a sexy outfit & not being bothered too much about her body made me so proud of her. She fancied a massage from one of the members who runs the dungeon (his massages are legendary there we were told) so she hopped up onto the table & started to receive a light spanking from this gentleman while I watched (she likes a bit of light bondage so wasn't phased by this). After a few mins of this she beckoned me over & told me to stand infront or her & she gave me the greatest BJ ever whilst she was getting a rub down. To cut a long story short, she ended up naked on her back, with my cock in her mouth, the gentleman playing with her pussy & having both her boobs kissed, sucked & played with by him & another lady that asked to join us. She was in heaven. That was as far as it went other than the pair of us going to our room & having the best sex we've had in many a year. Over all were we happy with how it went??? The answer is deffo yes. It was a great night even if it was slightly daunting to begin with. We know what we want from a night, we know we need to talk to more folk & hopefully that will lead to a bit more fun for both of us. The main thing is Mrs W was happy, her self confidence has grown no end so we can now start on building our experience up. We're planning on going back next month if we can get the time off together but we are in no hurry, we don't want to rush in & ruin the experience. I can see a lot of fun ahead of us both!!!

Like on Jurassic Park, Sure at first it's all beautiful and fun, but later, running and screaming. We have stumbled into bed with friends over the years. None are still friends. We have made friends from people we met swinging. It always gets weird at some point. Maybe a year or 3 down the road but it seems there is always someone that feels this would be a better situation if they shit all over it. So have fun and I sincerely hope it lasts forever. Watch for red flags though.

Maybe just a coincidence but we gave a couple 'one worders' a chance. They aren't casting a big net. They aren't trying to be mysterious. Its just lazy guys doing the bare minimum to get a chance to do the bare minimum.

So you would like to host a swinger party at your house. A number of things you need to decide: - Invite only people you know? - Invite people you know, but perhaps allow them to invite another couple? - How many couples do you want to invite? - Invite people you don't know? - Do you have areas in the house appropriate for play? Do you need to purchase blow up mattresses, sheets, etc.? - Are there areas in your house you don't want people in (typically closed doors take care of that)? - Are you going to ask guests to bring a snack to share? Are you serving food? - Do you have accommodations (bed/air mattress/sheets/pillow) for some people to stay over if needed? Parties we host as well as attend are typically bring your own booze and condoms. We'll supply soft drinks, water, and usually a few bottles of wine. Window coverings...you don't want neighbors and passers-by looking in. Noise...keep windows closed. So of course first you need to invite people, not much of a party without that The invite list is hard to put together as 1) There will be a number of people that decline right away, or accept and don't wind up attending for some reason and 2) If you account for no shows and create a larger invite list, you may find that EVERYONE shows up so you need to make sure you have room. Here's how we prepare, your mileage may vary: - Clean clean clean. - Prep food, soft drinks, get ice, etc. - In each bathroom have mouthwash and disposable cups. - In each bathroom have a bundle of clean washcloths, and a bucket/basket to put the dirty cloths into. You can get washcloths pretty cheap a Wal-Mart, Target, etc. - In our upstairs bathroom have towels available in case anyone wants a shower. - Clear our areas where we as going to put blow up mattresses. For us that means moving a few coffee tables. - Put sheets or comforters on any beds that are used for play. - Have towels available in the play areas for covering the bed...for the wet spots! - We have a hot tub and ask people to bring towels, but will put out extras in case people forget. - Though people usually bring their own condoms we will put a few out here and there. After all of the guests have arrived, and people have been talking a bit, but before play, we go over any "rules", bathroom locations, play area locations, etc. The only "rules" we go over is no means no (especially if your spouse says it! lol) and areas of the house not to go in. A closed door on the bedroom means do not disturb. Since we may be outside in the hot tub, remind people that the neighbors are not that far away so avoid any sex sounds!

Meeting some of the nicest people that are now my close friends

I felt very uncomfortable the first time I watched them kissing very passionately. In my conversations with my wife when I was trying to talk her into having sex with another man in front of me was that if it felt good to relax and enjoy it. I wanted her to feel free.

I have developed the confidence for social events to walk right up to any woman in a room and begin a conversation.

There is comfort in playing with someone you know and trust. Your relationship will change/be different if you have sex with them.

There are some remarkable truths in this post. Connections do matter. For some couples, that connection is purely at the level of fantasy--dress up in some costume and connect at a party while playing a role (e.g. "naughty schoolgirl"). For others--and we count ourselves in this group--the connections that matter are grounded in reality. We have to like the other couple. Perhaps more important, we have to trust the other couple. Without "like" and "trust", a connection cannot be made. "Why," you ask? Because the values of honesty, affection, trust, communication, and honor--values that underpin swinging--are the values that keep us close and our relationship strong. Random hookups run counter to those values. Attraction will occur based on physical appearance, presentation, confidence. Durable connections require much more. The search for those durable connections outside a marriage has the desired secondary effect of illuminating and strengthening bonds inside the marriage--at least it did for us.

We prefer smooth. I wax every 4-6 weeks and hubby shaves. Neither like picking pubes out of our teeth.

We had a husband ask my wife, "Are you my girlfriend?" Since we were all four present at the time, I thought it was a joke. Laura didn't. She told him (leaving no doubt) that she was a wife, which left her no room to be a "girlfriend." I think some men (and women) enter the lifestyle not quite understanding the difference between "making love" and "fucking for fun," so they try to do the only thing that falls within their experience, make love. This was an aspect of swinging that Laura and I discussed in depth with a potential couple before we ever crawled between the sheets. "Sex for fun" was probably the most compelling reason we swung. (Swang?) (Swinged?) We could do it with other people, but our sex acts together always ended up with great emotion involved. With other people we could laugh, joke, and giggle when we came. Your friends seem like decent people. I'd arrange a discussion (not accusative) over dinner.

We had a similar situation. The guy half of our first couple was got to be sneaky, tried to kiss me when no one was looking, was always grabbing me and this was outside of playtime. He was generally just too involved. This couple also did not seem to enjoy being with each other as much, they never really touched each other or seemed to communicate. Come to find out he was cheating on her with another woman. We just got an icky feeling from him like he would have replaced her with me very easily. We are no longer friends.

Several years ago I decided to let it all grow out. I was so used to shaving regularly that it was strange not to do it. As the hair grew in I thought it was funny. I even think sex felt different. Mike even said it was different. We decided to find someone to play with. We enjoy finding guys who aren’t on the prowl. We met a younger guy and he said he never saw a full bush. He almost bolted but he didn’t. We then decided to dye my pubes. We dyed it a bright red. I even put a strawberry lotion down there. We met a man who went crazy when he saw a red bush. We swore to him it was natural and that we call it my strawberry patch. He was hesitant but he was down on me and asked if anyone every said that I tasted like strawberries. Of course we played like he was joking. Of course we knew it tasted like that. He thought he was original when he came and said strawberry and cream. We never told him.

It's not about what people do with each other, but with whom. Among real friends everything is good.

The hardest part about going to a club is just walking through the door. Once you get inside you will find that people are nice, sincere, and honest. You don't have to do anything and you won't be expected or pressured into feeling that you have to do anything. In fact I suggest going the first time with the intentions of not doing anything except maybe just yourselves if it feels right. Just observe. What you will find is that the women are in complete control and you will quickly see that there are people there of all ages, shapes and sizes. If you are approached simply let the other couple/single know what your intentions are. The first rule in any club is No means No and it really is that simple. You just have to be able to tell anyone what your boundaries are. It can be extremely liberating for women to be in an atmosphere where they can express their sexuality without judgement or pressure.

Everywhere have played with were already friends. Don't ask me how the subject was breached, I don't remember. But it did make it easier to keep in line with our number one rule; don't screw up anyone's relationship. Not our own or others. Being friends first, none of us want to ruin our friends marriages, so we don't do anything to make any of the others mad. No private play ect. So far it has worked well. And been at it for 14 years.

We kind of stay away from the clubs for this very reason. We WANT to go more often, but the closest club to us is 2 hours away and we are also morning people. We live on a ranch and I can't remember the last time we weren't awake by 7am (usually earlier) and really ready for bed by 10. Going to a club then means most likely staying overnight in a hotel (not a big deal but it does require a bit more prep and planning), but when we are already fading at 10pm (and the club only opened at 9)...well, by midnight we are DONE. If a club opened earlier...say 7pm, we would be there! Problem with that is most people have it programmed into their heads that the party doesn't start until late (midnight or later) and so they just don't go until late. We actually enjoy playing in the afternoon. This way there's no rush or time crunch. Laying around the pool relaxing, BBQ some dinner, just having a good time and good conversation without any pressure is the way to do 'it' (plus it's much easier to see what is going on ). Once you've tried this, most will find that this is a great way to play. Until our 'local' club starts having an 'early bird' opening, we will continue to not attend as often as we would like. We wish we could attend more, but our bodies say otherwise (I feel like we're asking for a Dennys senior early bird menu here...ugh!). Getting old does have some drawbacks (although neither of us would be swingers if we were any younger)...

End it immediately. I was in a situation where a man I let my wife play with, tried to end our marriage and take her from me. This clingy attitude is unsafe. Seems he caught feelings and maybe feels as if the grass is greener on your side of the fence. And that's the last thing you need, is for your wife to have a shoulder to cry on, who might have alterior motives, if you two ever have an argument. The chance is not worth the risk.

If he acts that way with other women too then I'm not sure it is as much of a concern "romantically". The question really seems to be whether he is just acting like too much of a dick. We've seen couples in the clubs like this. He is hitting on every woman there and she's somewhere hiding in a corner. You never really know the dynamic going on between the two. It's almost like he's using her as a ticket and for whatever reason she goes along. Whatever the dynamic is I doubt it will change. I've had to run guys like this off before. They just move on to the next opportunity.

My college roommate Terry carefully and privately asked any woman he thought could be interested if she'd like to get together to play. He had more college sex than anyone else I ever knew. We were both 19 and for several months he had a 28 year old state office worker named Tina who came by for sex during the week or when she had time available on the weekend. I was on the sofa snuggled in a comforter trying to study when they came out of his bedroom after a session. She had on one of his button front shirts and he had gym shorts on and they joined me on the sofa. Tina scooted her feet down under the comforter, and as she did, I told her I could see Paris. She started rubbing my bulging shorts with her foot. After a bit, Tina suggested that she and Terry take me to the bedroom. Into the bedroom we go, Tina strips off and Terry drops his gym shorts and climbs on for the second go round of the afternoon. Me, shy and embarrassed, finally lose my shorts and tee shirt and lay next to them feeling Tina's boobs and licking nipple... When Terry finally came, he rolled off and he said your turn with Tina agreeing. Until this point in my life, I figured I just as soon would rather go where no man had gone before. I thought about it about 2 seconds, figured it wouldn't kill me and I climbed on, slipped in for sloppy thirds. It was the best 5 seconds of Tina's life (LOL). 4 strokes and I popped the cork came.... SOOOOO embarrassing........ Rob

Sun&Moon, thank you for your opinions on the matter. We have mulled over the possiblity, with new information that has come to light to us, that the couple (Bill and Ann)each had the following in their backstory: *Bill had been married before for 11 years, and he and his previous wife were in the LS. They divorced two years ago. * Ann has been a unicorn for a couple for 4 years ago, for a period of about 2 years. she then took a break from the LS to try and go vanilla for a bit. *Ann while she was a unicorn, was a sub to the husband who was her Master. *Bill and Ann have only been together about 6 months, they are not married, but are in fact GF and Boyfriend. With this new info we gathered from asking around, we realize that their issue maybe that being in a new relationship, may be their whole cause of why Ann was unresponsive / talkative to me in our chats. As you said "maybe she doesn't want to get too heated in the group chat so her own husband doesn't worry," in a new relationship with someone, I can see that being the possibility. We continue our search and continue to grow and love as a couple. Thanks to all for the responses.

When I was younger I was very self-conscious of my late development. I never met anyone who ran because I wasn’t big.