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WE agree with the above. Our play time is way less frenetic than it was 15-20 years ago and generally our playmates have equally mellowed. Consequently, sex with others seems a bit more intimate and relaxed for us which leads to a gentle afterglow and often times a group cuddle. If we've played separately, we often find that we cuddle with our partners far more often than we did when we started this hobby. This happens without any kind of jealousy with either of us. Sometimes being all grown up has its benefits!

Like death itself, sexuality has its own lifetable--in or out of the lifestyle. Perhaps its a bias of ascertainment, but folks in the lifestyle seem to stay sexually active longer. Thus there are important considerations for seniors in the LS. There are physiologic changes. Working to stay healthy, attractive, engaged takes effort. Medical conditions and medical interventions can favorably or unfavorably affect participation--there will be "ups and downs". Counterbalancing those medical/physiological issues are seemingly much more relaxed attitudes about sex and intimacy. Bear in mind that the two most toxic emotions -- envy and jealousy--are based on fears of inadequacy and of abandonment respectively. Long-married seniors tend to be past that and can relax and revel in the hedonistic pleasures without judgement or concern for alienation of affection. It does make a difference. We do need to find different approaches that respect senior body clocks. Most seniors (count us among them) do not sleep as well as in our younger years. We also rise earlier and sleep earlier. The "club that starts at 10 pm" is not realistic--or at least less fun-- in the 7th decade of life, so smaller and local parties work better. Pool parties, hot tub parties, naked cocktail parties, cook-outs and so on are among the different approaches that seem to work better with our age group. A reminder: pregnancy might not be an issue, but STI's are rampant among seniors. Perhaps paradoxically, connections do matter to seniors. It remains important to bring folks together in a non-pressured situation, let them explore connections before moving to a more sexually charged atmosphere. It might be a matter of a social hour followed by an icebreaker, a bar-b-q before the skinny dip, a clothed social hour before everyone goes for naked cocktails. Just our $0.02

OK, I'll start this. The absolute best for me was the ability to really talk to my spouse. Before we indulged in swinging, it just seemed like some topics were taboo. After we'd both had sex with other people, we could finally share fun details of our experiences before we were married. And, even better, we could comment to each other about people we see. I loved her becoming my best buddy as well as my wife.

I see no problem with cuddling and enjoying the person you have just been with intimately. I think I would feel used if after his orgasm he got up and left. Then again I enjoy spending the night with a swap rather than a group sex party. My enjoyment is the whole night and not a wham bam screw. I realize everyone has their own rules. Our rules are "have fun". Kissing to me is a must. The afterplay is as important as the foreplay. Cuddling on my partners chest, even falling asleep in his arms and waking for more intimacy makes for a wonderful night. For me a night with a man is not much different than a night with my husband. The rule my husband and I have is that we don't forget who we are going home with. We both know it is sex and intimacy, not love, but making love is fine. Just so people don't jump on my response negatively, our marriage is as strong as it has ever been and we have been doing this now for a few years. We do discuss our nights in detail after. I only hope that my husband treats the other wife as well as he treats me and that she can enjoy the sex as much as I do the other 364 nights, or so, of the year.

I would say I did things that would be considered for the team. I was brand new to this and my husband and I swapped with another couple that we met on a cruise. Had a really great time in separate rooms. We both liked the couple so that wasn't the problem. The next day we had some play in the same room and I wasn't very comfortable with the situation. I didn't like putting on a show and the sex was very much different. I also didn't want to play with the wife sexually although I really liked her and to this day still like her. I just wasn't into women and I am still not. We have remained friends with this couple and have taken vacations together again.

We check with each other before play to make sure we're both on board. I've been surprised a few times by her in regards to a few guys she was willing to play with in regards to the guys looks. I think the closest either has taken one for the team was me in a group play setting. When the time came for everyone to start playing I started off with a wife who I wasn't really attracted to. The sex ended up being pretty good and I did end up switching to another wife I was attracted to when people started to rotate. During round two I took the other wife back to a bed and the original joined after a time and I ended up having a threesome with both of them. It ended up being pretty fun but I don't think I'd seek that one wife or again. In order to make sure I could keep the fun going with her I kept my eyes focused on her eyes and facial expressions while she was orgasming.

Curiously (or not) our after sex reflections tend to be more than afterglow cuddling. Conversation wanders. It is not an emotional tie as much as it is a sharing of our stages in life. There is an old saw to the effect that the partners within a particular couple begin to resemble each other after a time. We observe that the journeys of older LS couples lead to a relatively common perspective on life, and there is something quite calming and reassuring about exchanging bits of those tales.

Owing to the fact that swing situations are for me nowadays in relaxed, casual venues, cuddling happens with most play partners. A short nap often ensues. In the old days with club visits and such, it was wham, bam, thank you, ma’am.

To answer your question "Am I crazy to think ... " Yes! (lol). There's nothing wrong with what you have. It's your insecurity and a bit of paranoia speaking, thinking that everyone is looking at your "small" breast, judging you ... You sound like a reasonable person and no, most people do not care. Personally, I would prefere your 34A before something along the lines of 36 DDD. No, seriously, you have nothing to worry about. If someone has a probalem with it, screw them (not literally), they are not worth of your tme. Stop worrying abut it, you are just fine!

The best thing that happened was our marriage. I had my first threesome while living with someone and he wasn’t part of that first time. I had guilt and admitted to what happened. We had never discussed swinging or my bisexuality which I didn’t know I had that desire. It originally caused a bump in our relationship though it opened thoughts and conversation which led to a better understanding of our love for each other. It also led to our love being sealed with marriage.

My wife and I and the couples we play with don't let a woman's period stop us, just throw down some old towels and go at it. The girls are pretty horny as well, so it's appreciated. Oral is limited to a cleaned clit, but other than that it doesn't slow us down.

It's not just big and small, although I agree my wife and I like all the different sizes, it's also the shape, how they hang, how they bounce. And don't get me started on nipples! The variety is wonderful.

Being polite might not be popular, but it can be extraordinarily effective. Social graces matter, even when (especially when?) intimacy is contemplated. We observe that negotiation towards mutual consent for adult play underpins the LS: politeness matters.

Exactly how we broke in, which then turned into wanting to be watched. Blossomed from there. GoldCoCouple is absolutely right. Go to a club, don't be afraid to watch others. Part of the reason they are there is because they like to be watched. You guys would be doing them a solid - same as they are doing for you by allowing you to watch them. Club is the way to go. Good luck, and have fun.

I really feel for you. Meeting people on swinging and dating sites is incredibly hard. My wife and I have been on a site for a few years, and would offer a couple of observations from our experience - at least half of the 'couples' on these sites have no real intention of meeting or being with other people. They are there to socialize or are fakes. So when things don't work out with them, its not them rejecting you... they simply don't exist in the capacity you are imagining them to exist in - energy and openness is much more important than attraction. We've been to Desire (a 5 star lifestyle resort in Mexico) a bunch of times and one of the things that really strikes me about the lifestyle is how open people are to different body shapes and appearances. There are (of course) many who place huge preference on looks, but there seems be far more who just want fun, friendly, sexy people. - examine how you 'present yourself' . My wife is a master at this. Whenever she enters a room (vanilla or otherwise) she radiates a positive, friendly energy. As a result, people are absolutely drawn to her. Its not her looks necessarily (although she's lucky to be attractive) its the energy she puts out when she's in a room of people. You say you lack confidence... we all do to some extent. But there is training and tips to allow you to still present yourself as confident, friendly, open .. even if you are not 100% feeling that way And I final point... I was intrigued by you saying that your vanilla friends feel like 'half friends'. Have you ever thought about why that is? Its trite to say (but soooo true) you need to be a good friend to have good friends. Do you show yourself to the 'there' for your friends when they need you. Do you go out of your way to do ice things for friends. Are you 100% open and honest with them. These are the things that deeper friendships are built on

We deleted online profiles after a major disappointment and realizing we were spending way too much time sorting through all the fakes and flakes. We also weren't looking for friends and are pretty much homebodies otherwise. It's not that we don't enjoy meeting people and getting to know them we just don't need to be lifelong friends with people we want to swing with. We found that we can go to our club when the mood strikes, meet and socialize with like minded people and have a good time. We can also have variety and not be tied to specific people. We like the variety a club offers whether it's another couple or a single guy. The not knowing what you're going to get is kind of exciting. Sometimes we don't get anything but each other and possibly an audience and that's fine too. We have fun. Confidence is a major factor in this lifestyle. It's a turn on for us and lack of it is a turn off. If this is something you're lacking in it may be the reason you're not being as successful as you would like. If you happen to try a club make sure you aren't wallflowers, get up and mingle. Get yourselves some sexy new clothes that make you feel attractive or maybe find a club that has a theme night that would encourage you to go in costume or at least in character. Sometimes stepping outside yourself is a way to overcome a lack of confidence and it's not really lying about who you are if everyone knows it's playacting. With success will come more confidence. Good luck!

AARP? Seriously, why bother? I am 67 and we are doing just fine with SLS and related events. Most of them younguns just gather together and us seniors just sit back and ignore them while we have too much fun.

Well I am not alone in loving ladies with small breasts, the only thing I like better is having them pierced a sign of a true kinky lady. I have know a couple of ladies that have had implants what a waste of a nice pair of breasts. Stick with what you have they sound wonderful.