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“Hi” such a small word...yet so powerful! Everything starts with “Hi” including how we met our significant other We have had that message a few times, we take it like a nudge, or like, as to look at their profile. If we see something we like, then we respond. If not, then we leave it at that. We actually prefer a “Hi” over a long drafted over the top email that you know it’s been over used.

You are all giving answers based on Judeo-Christian beliefs. What about the Gods of Sex? Teicu, goddess of sexual appetite. Tlaco, goddess of sexual longing. Xocotzin, goddess of sexual desire Min, god of reproduction, love, and sexual pleasure Eros, god of love and sexual desire Himeros, god of sexual desire and unrequited love These are just a few Gods that others may look to. Do you think these Gods are made up myths? Oh, are only your Gods real?

Are you referring to a dating site? Those short messages are often bots. I don't respond to anything that doesn't fit my interest area and doesn't have something distinctive like a first name and a location.

Hang out here in the forums and get used to etiquette, custom, and language. The more you interact with like minded adults the easier it will be to find your particular space in the lifestyle. Post an ad on an adult site and see who reaches out. Reach out to couples who seem like a nice fit even though distance might be a barrier. Good communication is the ultimate intimacy. A club is a good start assuming you can find one. Look around, talk, get used to the scene. Age will not be an issue. The attraction must be mutual and there is no accounting for taste.

Then you have got to bring it all out in the open with her COMPLETELY. Voice your desires and voice your concerns in the same kind of way that you would talk about any other major life decision. You mention that she said(half jokingly) that it's all up to you. What exactly does that mean? She doesn't want to be a part of picking the guy? I think it's important, especially starting out, that you are both in 100% which means she is directly involved in the decisions, has input and veto power. I'd be afraid that she would pull the same, "I can't believe you did it" line. By having her involved she can back out at any time and not put you through what you went through before to get back to this point. Can you live with her decision? Some people just aren't cut out for the lifestyle. It seems like there is a recurring theme on this board where fantasy and reality don't intersect. Some people can separate and compartmentalize the emotions of love, lust, desire, excitement, jealousy, compersion, etc. and are able to deal with each on its own. Other's just aren't wired that way. It's one thing to talk about the fantasy of it, it's totally different to see her actually go down on another guy or watch her fuck another guy and enjoy it for what it is or for her to see you do it. You have to make sure it's something she truly wants to do.

She pulled a classic "shit test" the first time. Has she matured enough since then that you trust this isn't another one. It doesn't sound like it if you are having doubts. In your mind, what's the worst case scenario if it is another "shit test"? As far as finding a M for MMF. It's probably not as difficult as you might think.