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Reminds me of a similar story - I believe if I remember correctly it was at the same music festival - may years ago. Lack of sufficient toilets resulted in a row of men peeing against a wall. One kept asking passing women if they would like to hold his penis for him while he urinated. Eventually one said yes. As he started she directed it on his shoes and pants and left it still peeing on his feet. Not a lot he could say but it certainly got some laughs from everyone else.

If it were me, I would do the same thing I'd do if I were going on a date and as a guy, that means just pay for everything. Talking about money isn't the best topic that leads to hot sex and by paying, the topic of money never arises. On the plus side, if you are paying, and you aren't sure you want to continue at any point, your decision won't be mitigated by any money you asked him to spend.

My statement was based purely on what I’ve seen, but I decided to take a look online to see what I’d find. The CDC estimated that in the US, 80.5% of men (ages 14-59) were circumcised. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prevalence_of_circumcision With the issue of women’s pubic hair though, it’s a little harder to get accurate data on that, as it’s not a medical procedure lol, but here’s an article I found that supports what I said, at least to a degree. A look at what women do with their hair down there The vast majority of ladies I’ve been with though have had their hair down there removed completely, the rest had most of it gone. I haven’t seen a “full bush” in a very long time, and I’d prefer it to stay that way. I *might* make an exception if the girl was hot enough, but I doubt my wife would.

Follow your gut on this guy she's been talking to. He's not worth the trouble. Perhaps you need to do some prescreening for her to weed out some of the undesireables. She may be getting frustrated at the amount of time it takes and it does take a lot of time. That's exactly why we got off the sites. Fortunately we have a much larger metro area and several clubs to choose from. It seems like perhaps you've got a little bit of Facebook syndrome going on. Unrealistic perceptions of your friends level of happiness. You have to move at your own pace and not compare that to anyone else. You're setting yourself up for disappointment if you do. There is always going to be someone who had a great time at the last party or met this perfect couple just they click with. What you aren't hearing about, most likely is all the disappointments it took to reach that one exciting time. This shouldn't be something you feel like you have to do or give up on. There shouldn't be goals you feel like you need to reach or items you HAVE to check off of a list. There should just be things you want to try. If it something either of you is feeling like giving up on then one or both of you is feeling pressure. You need to figure out why, where that's coming from and address it. Sure there will be frustrations and disappointments along the way but hopefully that strengthens you as a couple which will make it more fun. In the end you have each other and you're doing this together because you both want to. That's what it's all about.

Being one of the 93% of shy people, I feel better now after reading it. It was very informative and helpful in social situations should they arise.

You're trying, it seems to me, to not only find compatible relationships between four people, which is even more difficult that finding a match between two people, but expanding the universe to eight people. Without hurting anyone's feelings. I don't have experience with this, but my limit has been four. I don't have any advice beyond what is given above, but maybe you would do well to stick with one other couple at a time?

Couple 4 -- It would be kinder to just tell them the chemistry isn't there. There is absolutely no need to get into "well, we find your wife hot, but not you". The end result is the same if they are looking for both of them to play-- it isn't going to happen. I don't see the benefit of singling out the male. Trust me, he knows. I used to weigh more than I do now, and we know. If people turn us down now, and it isn't because of me (e.g., they say your wife is hot), it is a stab in the ego/feelings of my husband. For what purpose? There is no need to be rude. Couple 2 -- If you have no interest in playing with them anymore-- just tell them that. You don't have to give them a why. If they can't respect your no, that is further evidence that they aren't the right couple for you.

I would take it to mean he didn't give much thought to writing his profile to indicate what that meant, but he was able to get at least one sentence out of a phrase that doesn't say much of anything. Another possibility is that he bi or bicurious and he isn't sure how that would go over, so he's being careful by not saying it directly. Who knows? The one thing you do know is the profile wasn't written well enough to tell you much. Being open minded sexually doesn't mean you are open to doing things that you don't want to do. It's no different than being open minded about anything else. It means you can look at things and make an informed judgment about whether or not it interests you.

Everybody starts somewhere. You two have set your limits between you. Go, wear your costume, and have fun. People will look, they'll watch and you'll have a blast which will fuel your sex life at home for weeks to follow.

Your questions deserve answers. Until around about two years ago Red and Clair did not have a sexual relationship, now they do. It is complicated, but had its origins in what those two believed about the relationships. Now we all have sex with each other, except between the guys. The other parts of it are: 1) Lora's ex-husband, Walter, plays with us occasionally (like three or four times a year for a couple of days) whenever he is back east. [backstory - Lora and David lived together (and planned to get married) before he and I met, but Lora's parents are proud black folks and put tremendous pressure on her to marry a black man. I met Lora independently at the gym and we started socializing. I was fascinated, not jealous about her and David's past, and got them together again. Lora and I also share a Lesbian side and a strong attraction for one another.] Lora first played with hubby, then me, and later Clair and Red in our forming poly family. At that time Lora was just dating Walter. He was then brought into the fun and it all seemed great, and they got married (Walter is black), and Lora thought she had it all - a good life with Walter, happy parents, and the chance to be with my husband. But long story short, Walter and Lora moved to California to advance their careers and Lora realized (and I believe my husband did as well) that they were deeply in love. So Lora decided suddenly to leave and divorce Walter and move in with us. She now also has a child by David as well. David loves me as much as ever, but I believe that he loves Lora more. But I'm happy with that and for them. Plus Lora and I love each other, both romantically and sexually. 2) As everyone in the family passed thirty, we found that we three women have a greater desire for male sex than the two guys (not counting Walter) can provide. As I've told in another post, Clair as the stay-at-home mom meets a lot of other mothers. One woman (Becky) whose husband (Frank) and child we had already met, confided to her that she wished that she could find a safe sex partner for her husband because she has a severe negative psychological reaction to having an orgasm or even sexual stimulation. (I posted a link about the condition in another post about them.) After carefully dancing around and approaching the subject, we ended up with an arrangement where Clair, Lora and I have sex with Frank when the need and opportunity arises. Sometimes it's something quick at their place or ours, and sometimes we all get together on a weekend where Becky or another one of us women watches the children and we all just have fun. Messy, often literally, and complicated but it al works. Any other questions?

From the men and women who have shared such thoughts with me most men, including "vanilla" men, don't consider Lesbian sex cheating. Guys worry about other guys doing things with their woman, another woman is not a threat. So what did the man you love say when you told him?

Let me start by saying it is totally your decision. Does it matter to you who the father is? It is implied from the fact that you're bringing the question here that you do not agree with your husband's position. In the end it is you who will live with the joys and tribulations of the decision that you make, and as with most women/mothers, be the one to raise the child. Put your husband's wishes aside for a moment and think of what you want. If you are considering keeping the child against you husband's preference, I suggest that you immediately get legal counsel to determine the rights of your child; they vary by state. And it is the child's rights, not something for you to bargain away or waive on his or her behalf. Your husband may have an obligation by reason of being married to you, and obviously the biological father has an obligation to the child. Do not feel as though you are being unfair to the men, it is both the law and the consequences of marrying and/or having sex with you that they may have to pitch in to support a child. We in the poly family (we are mostly monogamous) have discussed the question and all agree that if one of us women became pregnant and the time was right for a child, we would keep it regardless of paternity. If it was not a good time, considering all factors, we would have an abortion, regardless of paternity. And call it was it is - an abortion. An abortion is what it is - at this point it is not a "child" or "baby", it is a potential person. And it is without shame if that's what you decide to do. I have not had an abortion, but would if that was the right decision at the time. Both Lora and Clair in our poly family have aborted, before any of us met. They made the best decision that they could at the time. It is your decision and your decision alone to make because it is your body and you will be the one most affected either way. Weigh the factors, make your decison, then go on without regrets.

That's hillarious. Poor bastard.

I think it's probably code as well in most cases. If it's someone you otherwise might be interested in the best thing to do is simply ask them what they mean by open minded. You are opening the door for them to explain themselves. It they are bi-sexual or curious I think at that point they will tell you. If it means they are referring to something else they should be able to explain what that is.

Your first post made it sound as if this was something that had happened with more that one couple. Now It sounds like this is more of an issue with just this couple. That would make more sense to me. Some people just don't find chemistry individually. You may have chemistry as a group of friends and your husband and his wife may have sexual chemistry but you and the other guy just might not have it for whatever reason. It happens and that's OK. It may just be that he really is more interested in seeing her pleased. Some couples like that. From what I've read I doubt that you are doing anything wrong, you're trying. You're attractive and sound intelligent from what you've written here. He just isn't feeling it. Looks to me like it's his loss. Taking one for the team sometimes means you are letting your partner play while you don't because it's just not going to happen with the other person. If that's not OK with you speak up. You and your husband are in this together and he needs to know your needs, desires, fantasies aren't getting met. As much as he likes what's going on with her it sounds as if you probably should leave this couple behind and find one that fulfills you both.

I think that 90% of men are straight and 90% of women will play with women. So you are in the 10% and 10%. To get both 10% in one couple is mathematically tough. I guess you know this and you just have to try harder to find your happy space. Would you consider playing separately? With one bi male?

Its not a double standard, its a choice. We don't play with couples with bi men nor do we play with bi single guys. Your choices limit your available demographic. Live with it and quit complaining. Nobody is forcing you into a closet, there are couples who might fit your needs, too bad for you that its a way smaller group than swinging couples in general. And don't talk about tolerance. We're a very tolerant couple. We REALLY don't care how many dicks you suck just don't expect to suck mine or me to suck yours. That's our choice, it reflects our standards and what we want and enjoy. We do not begrudge you your fun we're certainly not "bi-shaming" (whatever the hell THAT is)you, we and apparently others are just not interested in getting naked and playing with bi sexual males. This isn't a civil rights issue, it's a simple choice that couple make for themselves and they have a right to do that.