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Please read and re-read what CandDinCo stated. Embedded are the values of honesty and of honor. It may seem odd to newbies to mention these values; they are constant among those who embrace the lifestyle. You will be asked for permission to be touched, kissed, and to play. Different from the vanilla world where rejection is something to be feared, in the LS it is something that is honored. This is not mere etiquette--it is the foundation of the LS. Joining the LS involves a conscious decision to be vulnerable--but not in the way most vanillas think. Ask a vanilla what s/he thinks the LS is about, the conception almost always begins with sex with near-random partners and the vulnerability has to do with being compelled to have sex when you don't really want to. Ask an experienced LS person what s/he thinks the LS is about, the conception almost always begins with a different framework for relating to others and the vulnerability has to do with being told "no" and having to accept that decision immediately and without explanation. That is the foundation of the LS: no one will think less of you for saying "No", no one will pressure you to say "Yes". The social grace of "No thank you" is always appreciated, but a simple "no" is sufficient. Now here is the surprise. Once you get used to the fact that "no" is never questioned, it feels a lot safer to say "yes". This is why experienced LS people always advise newbies to discuss their boundaries and to respect their own boundaries. We know that those boundaries will likely change with time. What matters is that you (plural, as a couple) check in with one another about those shifting boundaries. Now here is the second surprise. As those boundaries change, you will see each other through new eyes. How you respond when you see others are attracted to your partner is up to you. For those of us who remain in the LS, padoc is right on target: the attention of others will "amp up" your marital sex life in ways that keep you grinning for weeks to come.

Since a lot of this seems to address the preferences of guys, I will address them from my point of view as a guy. I've preferred small breasts all of my life. Almost every gf I've had has been an A or B cup. That's what appeals to me. Didn't see a D cup up close and personal until I was about 40 and it was mostly, meh. No big deal. Well, that is one reason that I seem to prefer women with small breasts. Although some women with large breasts can be thin, (especially if the breasts are bolt ons), that doesn't seem to be the rule, at least from what I've observed. So, I can't see that being an issue. That seems to be the case when a women is aroused and if you are comparing that to women in photos, my guess is that models in photos are anything but aroused when posing for a photographer and crew. You stopped short on your research. That 4-5 inches of the average vaginal canal refers to the length when a woman is not aroused. Arousal can cause it to double in length as needed. Not quite sure what you are referring to here when you say loose on the outside. As for the labia (which I assume is what you meant by size, earlier), I think that's a personal preference. I actulaay find longer labia minora that protude out to be a turn on, and to be quite honest, in all of my years, I have never heard a guy say much of anything either way about labia size. I'm really not sure how this notion of labiaplasty ever got started, but trust me, guys in general are not going to pay that much attention. As for being loose throughout, yes, that's possible, but my personal experience has been that tight has a lot to do with physically fit, so exercise would be helpful if you really thought there was a problem. Most likely, you are not unlike the rest of us who would like to be greek gods and goddesses, but are stuck with being normal people with normal bodies.

Personal limits are important for you as a couple. We all have them. As long as you and your husband stick to your boundaries, experienced swingers will respect them. Swingers are not cheaters and we are not predators . Those are common misconceptions people not in the lifestyle have. We don't force ourselves on anyone.

We have been to Desire several times including our honeymoon. THAT is a blog topic all by itself!

Doesn't matter to me at all. This is about variety. If every pussy was the same what would the fun be in that?