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So there we were, two days from our next event and I had not a single nerve or doubt about us. Usually I'd have unnerving anxiety, be fearful of him being with someone better or feeling inadequate.. but it had been well over six months since any playing, and tons had happened in our relationship. To my surprise and happiness, I felt nothing but excitement and longing to find a couple we could swap with at our next event. I WANTED to see him with another woman, I wanted him to have fun and I wanted it for myself as well. I wont go into the details of the evening, but we got just that. I wasnt worried prior to the event, I wasnt worried at the event or felt the need to establish myself as his wife in front of others or during our group (us and two other sexy couples) soft swap. Or even once back at the room. It was free flowing, relaxed, sexy and charged. I remember briefly looking over as my husband fucked the other wife from the back and either it was the sight of him that made me shiver in orgasm, or her husband smacking my ass as he fucked me from behind. The next day (despite not having had our "reclamation sex" yet due to small children) and even into yesterday and today, I cant stop thinking about how sexy my husband Is, how much I love him and I even linger longer on our hugs. It took me quite some time (about 3 years) to really grasp the idea. Not that whole "push through and hope for the best" but really grasp it. There are few things as amazingly sexy and reassuring in this world that you can have whatever little sexy fulfillment your heart desires WITH YOUR SPOUSE without repercussion, punishment or resentment, rather encouragement and praise. AND get to go home with them and bask in the afterglow. When sex is no longer the constraint and "cement" to a relationship, you both reach new heights of love, compassion, compersion, appreciation and respect for not only each other, but for yourself and you begin to realize that when you dont have to hide from that "one person" you can flourish in any situation. Perhaps I'm just now feeling the "honeymoon" effect of the LS but this last event really made it click. Not sure what the reason or rhyme, maybe it was time and experiencing that he still hasn't left me despite swapping. It took time and reassurance and talking even when he and I didnt want too , but here we are, on the other side of the "learning storm". Not entirely because you can always learn something new, but the "societal norm storm" has dissipated and I owe a large part to this board. To those battling the fight, it may not happen tomorrow, or next week or month or year, but the point in case is that patience, understanding and self reflection are key...oh, and obviously COMMUNICATION, LOVE AND TRUST. Cheers to the sexy, life changing adventure. Xoxo

HotEllie, Best of luck. My wife and I are total newbies as well. We attended a club party a few weeks ago for the first time. We were very nervous, and had the same concerns you shared in your post. We had a great time. We went in knowing that for our first dip into the lifestyle we weren’t going to swap with any couples, and just try and have fun. Meet people, dance, and take a dip in their huge hot tub. If there is one thing we learned from our first experience is be sure to communicate with your partner, and be clear what your rules are for yourselves and when chatting with other couples. We are going back to the club this Friday for their costume party. Not sure what we are going to wear yet. If you are going to TJs we might just see you there.

Keep in mind its ok to go to a sex club and not have sex with the other members, particularly the first time. While its great if it happens I've heard from a lot of couples how they 'just observed the first or second time they went. & had sex with each other. By the third time they felt comfortable enough to engage with other couples. I've done the same with two women who were having their first club experience. We watched, chatted, and flirted a bit with the other folks. On later soirees my lady friends felt a lot more comfortable & were happy having sex with people they had just met in a group setting.

Thank you all for the advice and encouragement. I will report back on how things go. Ellie

I am not into the much younger men. I recently spent a lovely evening with a gentleman in his 60’s. Sometimes it takes a while to meet new people. Do you have certs? Also location, Southern California is a whole other game.

My observation is that people do age out of the lifestyle, but most leave for some of the other reasons that have been noted in comments above. njbm and Nerds Are Fun have mentioned Florida as a fertile ground for older swingers. My observation is similar to theirs. I live in the Northeast but several times a year travel to central Florida to attend parties organized by a couple who are longtime friends. They are in their 70s and while some of the regular guests are in their late 20s and 30s, many of the attendees are in their 60s and older. The adjustment for age that I’ve noticed is that the parties start with a social hour at 7:00 and generally wrap up around midnight, a time when parties/clubs that cater to a younger clientele are just getting started.

It must be more difficult for single males and there are so many single men available at age 25-40 that 50 plus single men are at a disadvantage. We are an over 60 couple and we find a diminishing population of peers. Health problems, performance problems, maybe people experimented and are done. We’ve met single men who have paired with single women to play as a couple. That could be an alternative.

We are going on a Bliss cruise in a few weeks. We find cruises a lot of fun and generally an easy way to meet people. Desire and Hedo are fun, but more dicey to meet people. We are on SLS and SDC, but meeting people and actually playing is rare. A lot of frauds, men posing as couples and people who do not play on line.

So I'm brand new here, only been swinging for 6 months. But I've/We've had a good deal of interactions. I suppose the one that sticks out at the moment for me was after my daughter's soccer game. We are good friends with a couple whose daughter is also on the team, we've swung with them once at a part we went to very early on. After the game the girls were all going for pizza and that kinda left us parents with some time on our hands. Now honestly sex isn't always on our brains or anything but I guess K (the dad of the other girl on the team) was thinking about it all day. He said it was because of my sports top, a long sleeve spandex purple crop top. My stomach was showing a bit, little bit of a muffin top i'm still trying to get rid of. I'm not a busty girl at best a B but more an A cup. He invited us over to their house which was just a few blocks down the street from the fields so we walked. It was really hot out and so we were all pretty sweaty when we got inside. K invited me into the kitchen for some water while his wife J and my husband L went to the bathroom (not together just to actually go). In the kitchen we chatted about the game, drank some water and then K, as bold as I've ever seen sat in a dining room chair and asked if I'd ride him. I was stunned to say the least. I mean we are still really new to this life and hadn't been so very upfrontly asked something like that. Well it was why we were there after all so, blushing like a little girl, I started to take my top off. He told me to stop and keep it on. It was stained a bit with sweat and really clinging to my breasts, I wasn't wearing a bra so my nipples were poking through. He told me he loved seeing my breasts bounce when I was cheering on the girls that's what gave him this, and he pulled down his track shorts. K isn't especially long, maybe like 7 inches at best, but he's thick. And wow he was as hard as I've ever seen a guy get. Well i pulled my yoga pants down, i was wearing some simple seamless purple lace panties with a wide waist. They were kinda sweaty too. Honestly at this point I still wasn't used to the whole, other man inside me thing. It was still and still is like some kind of strange dream. He told me to leave the panties on too, so i straddled his lap. He pulled my panties just enough to the side to see my vagina and complimented it. Telling me he loves how smooth and tight I looked for a mom. Surprised me a lot but was kind of a turn on. His penis was straight up and so he very gently but firmly put his hands on my bottom, half exposed in the panties, pulled me to him and lowered me on. I told you he's thick so it was intense. I'd only had sex with him one time before and that was after I'd had a load of semen inside to help lube me up. Now it was just me, my sweat, my already warming juices and him. His eyes were locked on his tip pushing my lips open, entering me, slowly sliding in. I'm kinda tight so it was slow, pushing in a little sliding back out then going further. It took several minutes but soon every inch was in me and it was soooooo intense. He was long enough to just tickle my cervix but it was that girth, stretching me that was making me shiver. K just sat back his hands on my bottom and slowly helped me rise and fall on him. Going about halfway up then down, hitting my cervix. Then almost all the way up to the tip and back in slow. He kept that pattern and pace up for a while. He'd alternate watching his penis slide into me and watching my breasts gently bounce in my top. We were already sweaty from being out in the heat at the game but this worked up more of a sweat, like we were dripping on the floor more than my juices, which themselves were dripping down his balls to the floor under us. My tummy was bouncing a little too as I rode him. He has some incredible staying power and I think we were like that for nearly ten or more minutes before I couldn't hold back anymore and I orgasmed. I'm a little bit of a crier when I orgasm so I teared up whimpering, crying, body shaking and vagina squeezing down hard on him just making the orgasm more intense. I'm not sure if it sent him over the edge or he just let himself go because right in the middle of my orgasm he pushed deep into me right up against my cervix and blasted thick streams of semen. He's a very heavy thick ejaculator and i felt it splashing inside so hot it was amazing. We just sat for a minute after that, dripping sweat and now some other fluids. Then we saw the clock on the wall. Our girls were due to get done with the pizza party soon so we were going to need to pick them up. K pulled out of me and put my panties back over me before anything could drip out. He patted my stomach and kissed my stretch marks and said he loved filling a mom's tummy. Totally made me blush. I put my pants back on went to check on my husband and J. I walked in on L orgasming onto J's beautiful C cup breasts. She kissed his tip and thanked him, waved to me and got up. Gave me a kiss on the cheek as she walked by going to take a shower. I left with my husband to go get our car and pick up our daughter and the entire ride home my vagina was FULL of semen. My panties were a total mess! I'm just glad it didn't leak and show through my yoga pants. That's a stand out experience for me.