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I normally avoid these conversations but I figured Id try to offer some advice to the white couples here on SB. Please stop asking this question. If you see a car that you like, you take it for a test drive. If you see an article of clothes you like, you go in the dressing room and try it on. The fact that you would come to a forum like this and ask a question about a particular race of human being without taking the initiative to get to know one of them and find out for yourself reeks of privilege, ignorance, and racism. Any person w an internet connection can go to one of the free porn sites and see videos of men of various ethnic backgrounds with big cocks. IMHO, what you are really saying is that you are interested in being with a black man but you want to see how other people feel about it. The fact that you get mad when someone says it appears racist is just a cover up of your own guilt. I refuse to believe we as human beings are not better than this. If you want to fuck a black man, just do it. But realize, just because a black man has a large cock doesn't mean the sex will be good. Just because a man is black it doesn't mean he has a big cock. I mean you and your friend may even have sex with the same man and have a different opinion about how good the sex was. Take some time to get to know any human being that you want to have sex with and you may discover that even though he is black and has a big cock...there is no chemistry between the two of you and you don't want to fuck him after all. I know that I cannot speak for all black men but there is a large number of us that are turned off by the ignorance of some white couples seeking black men. I am more turned on by a white woman or man that can articulate the fact that they grew up in a racist environment but have always been attracted to black men. A couple that can articulate the fact that their sex life has become stale and they are looking to add another man to make it more exciting. Or even a woman that can articulate the fact that she was abused or mistreated by men of other races and only feels comfortable dating black men. I know this is asking a lot but like I said, I refuse to believe that we as humans are not better than this. Sorry for the rant, just my humble opinion.

Many couples think they want to try something new. We have found it is many times the husband who is pushing the subject. There is a huge difference in being curious and acting it out. As others have said communication is the biggest step. Discuss the real reason each of you want to swing. You might have different reasons. You started the thread by saying you tried. I wish you started with “we tried”. We had fun finding our first couple. Finding the right first is not easy. I don’t know how you are looking and if both of you are looking together. Are you on a swinger site? If you make contact with a couple make sure all four of you are on the same page. Some couples may look better than they really are. Meet them first. I can tell you are more eager than your wife, let her take the lead when meeting. Don’t push her to do things outside her comfort zone. We have met a number of newbies. Almost 100% of the time the wife is more nervous. My wife is very good in calming down an over eager husband. We always let the wife go at her speed. We have watched husbands push way too hard for their wives to do things they aren’t comfortable with. Go forward with respect.

It needs to be her decision. I suggest both of you read more here, talk and ask.

Maybe the first step isn't a couple - let her choose: MFM, FFM or even her playing alone. I would have never considered swapping at first, but my husband (boyfriend at the time) just let me enjoy having sex with my ex-fiance. Things don't have to be symmetric between you two when moving down the path.

I know this is a question for the ladies but I had to chime in here. This is also my favorite position. Straddling the bottom leg with the top leg bent up. I can see all the visuals I need, Face, breasts, pussy and ass. It also gives me access to touch her breasts, her clit and her ass if she's into digital penetration. I can spank her, pull her hair or lean over and kiss her passionately. For her, along with the benefits you already described, she can increase the depth of penetration by moving the top leg closer to her chest giving or decrease it by moving her leg down away from her chest.

I saw my old post about our friend. It has been a year and I just realized this friend has been the person I have played the most with. Most of our play had been with out of town friends until I allowed him to join us. He not only joins us, he also is my company when my husband travels. He has also become my girlfriend ( he hates when I say that). I confide in him and we talk about real personal things. Even though I discuss things with my husband I get a different unbiased response from this friend.

There are more chances you get hit by a car than convincing your wife to swing with not communication before hand.so talk talk talk and more talk cause you want your wife with a lot of resentment and regret afterwards.

Your wife may also be genuinely hesitant. Usually the men are rarin’ to go. Go as slow as your slowest partner.

WARNING: You young people might now want to read this if you have any kind of normal fear of getting old. Some women of my acquaintance who have my same number of years would like to do cowgirl or reverse cowgirl but cannot owning to discomfort in knees or hips. One of these has recently had knee replacements and is now restored, to my complete satisfaction and happiness, to her former "ride-em-cowboy" capability. She even gets over me while the bottoms of her feet are flat on the floor and slides up and down on my disk without her legs or butt even touching my abdomen. I ought to send her surgeon a bottle of wine and a note of thanks. Yes, women like the on-top position.

What exactly did you almost make happen? A full swap, soft swap, MFM, a bi experience for her? What is the goal for you? I'm not sure the goal you have is the one you should have. It's not about you making any one thing in particular happen. It's about building your own relationship first and then things happening because you are in a place where it is right for both of you. The only thing that is going to help her cross over, as you put it, is her wanting to cross over. Throw out the goals and enjoy the ride. Once you remove the pressure of any goals she'll feel like she's a part of a team and then you can work on what you want together.

I agree with the above. Communication is the key. Can’t force it. Be patient. Took us almost 3 years until she was ready. But now it’s amazing. Looking back, wouldn’t change a thing. P.S. there’s a lot of fun/good times that happens between stages. Baby steps, try to enjoy each moment as she gains confidence.

The conversations on this forum are always way better than any of the other swingers/sex forums out there.

That's not what the nuns told us. But then, I don't think many of them were happy.

apparently it has become my favorite fetish lol cant say i want to stop it either

I had a similar experience with my first husband, started with me using toys in him, then wanting to see his ass fucked, but we found another Lifestyle couple that the wife told me she gets so wet seeing her man on top as well as bottom. They were cute, with all over dark tans, and willing to both fuck me and my hubby. I would eat out the wife, while her man fucked my hubby with mirrors around us to see. I came so many times, it hurt. But still liked to see the couple fuck with my hubby from behind, and me filming. Laura Laura and Dave vegas nude couple