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In my mind swinging is one or both partners being consensually non-monogamous, doesn't have to be in the same place or even at the same time. Even if you prefer one particularly way of swinging, the variety of mixing it up is thrilling.

Personally I think of "Swinging" as a flavour of non-monogamy (i.e: couple centric, generally mono and hetro-normative, low emotional investment, etc), rather than a specific act or play scenario. So in that context, a couple hooking up with another couple, to engage in separate room play is definitely within the scope of Swinging. But, honestly, if the label is really important to you, and same room play doesn't fit within your definition, feel free to call it something else. D

Wife's fantasy is to watch another couple but not join in we are just recently exploring our fantasies and this one has her nervous. Any suggestions on how to approach this one?

I have finally gotten my wife to turn full slut. She fucks random guys for me and with me. It is great! Love showing and telling guys about it!!

Yes it is. The thing is that some of us have found that , sometimes, this end is best served by being out of eye and ear range. We went from "same bed only" to "same room only" pretty quickly this was largely a matter of comfort physically, only queen beds in the rooms available. Within a month we had met a couple that preferred separate rooms and we said yes. The bedroom doors left open with only about six feet between. By the five month mark we vacationed with this same couple ans had separate cabins. Totally out of both eye and ear range. Funny thing, while we have played in threes with them , we have never all been in the same room together for play. This , however is just them. For other couples my wife still says "Same Room Only" I think she likes that if something should go sideways I will be right there. Each of these arrangements does have its own unique flavor, but they are all the two of us playing together in our world.

Well, the OP did ask about the unforgettable.

The most unforgettable BJ I have ever given was several years ago. We were at the beach with a couple we had met with before and had spent the week end. We ere getting ready to leave the hotel when us wives decided to give the guys a good by bj. The other wife was sucking my husband and I was sucking hers. Just as he started to cum, he had a heart attack. He is doing well now but he never lets me forget what a memorable bj it was. Deb.

We're all wired differently. I totally agree with you about it being more fun in the same room. I loved watching my wife. But she just didn't enjoy watching me with other women and said she couldn't really enjoy herself if she knew I was watching her and the other husband. And, honestly, I was probably less attentive to the other wife if I was constantly wanting to watch my own wife.

Yes, you just have to locate people who want to play with people your age. I am unaware of your location, but you can hit paydirt in Florida, USA. The Villages near Orlando. Paradise Lakes near Tampa. Many in southern Florida. We are 61 and we are the 25 year olds of Florida.

We don't care for the smell or harshness of marijuana and so steer away from those who do. On the other hand edibles are just fine with us. We've had few experiences with "special" brownies or cookies but found the effect on the mood to be pleasant. The effect on libido, inhibitions and time on target was pretty amazing.

Maybe the first step isn't a couple - let her choose: MFM, FFM or even her playing alone. I would have never considered swapping at first, but my husband (boyfriend at the time) just let me enjoy having sex with my ex-fiance. Things don't have to be symmetric between you two when moving down the path.

Communication is the key and it is something that MUST be done beforehand. Talk with her...don't know where to start then start with telling each other your fantasies. Maybe even try to make a few come true. This (trying to get her to swing), however, cannot be just dropped on her. Even if it were to happen, without the communication and trust required between the two of you, it can still cause a bad outcome (her feeling remorse, regret, betrayed, embarrassed, etc). Take the time and do it right rather than run the risk that she does something 'spur of the moment' and then is upset afterwards. That will guarantee that it will be a one time happening (if at all). Talk...

So there we were, two days from our next event and I had not a single nerve or doubt about us. Usually I'd have unnerving anxiety, be fearful of him being with someone better or feeling inadequate.. but it had been well over six months since any playing, and tons had happened in our relationship. To my surprise and happiness, I felt nothing but excitement and longing to find a couple we could swap with at our next event. I WANTED to see him with another woman, I wanted him to have fun and I wanted it for myself as well. I wont go into the details of the evening, but we got just that. I wasnt worried prior to the event, I wasnt worried at the event or felt the need to establish myself as his wife in front of others or during our group (us and two other sexy couples) soft swap. Or even once back at the room. It was free flowing, relaxed, sexy and charged. I remember briefly looking over as my husband fucked the other wife from the back and either it was the sight of him that made me shiver in orgasm, or her husband smacking my ass as he fucked me from behind. The next day (despite not having had our "reclamation sex" yet due to small children) and even into yesterday and today, I cant stop thinking about how sexy my husband Is, how much I love him and I even linger longer on our hugs. It took me quite some time (about 3 years) to really grasp the idea. Not that whole "push through and hope for the best" but really grasp it. There are few things as amazingly sexy and reassuring in this world that you can have whatever little sexy fulfillment your heart desires WITH YOUR SPOUSE without repercussion, punishment or resentment, rather encouragement and praise. AND get to go home with them and bask in the afterglow. When sex is no longer the constraint and "cement" to a relationship, you both reach new heights of love, compassion, compersion, appreciation and respect for not only each other, but for yourself and you begin to realize that when you dont have to hide from that "one person" you can flourish in any situation. Perhaps I'm just now feeling the "honeymoon" effect of the LS but this last event really made it click. Not sure what the reason or rhyme, maybe it was time and experiencing that he still hasn't left me despite swapping. It took time and reassurance and talking even when he and I didnt want too , but here we are, on the other side of the "learning storm". Not entirely because you can always learn something new, but the "societal norm storm" has dissipated and I owe a large part to this board. To those battling the fight, it may not happen tomorrow, or next week or month or year, but the point in case is that patience, understanding and self reflection are key...oh, and obviously COMMUNICATION, LOVE AND TRUST. Cheers to the sexy, life changing adventure. Xoxo

Once while getting a BJ in a public area of a club, a woman who I had never seen before came up and asked if she could give me one too. Being a obliging sort of guy, I said yes she could. I never did get her name, nor have I ever seen her since.

there are a lot of factors that contribute to the choosing of a potential swing partner and age is one - so is appearance, manners, attitude, common interests, and if they smoke or not (yik - don't want to kiss any ashtrays) but as for being uncomfortable about older couples being at the club? no. I guess we are in the middle at 33 and 35 - and I have to say that I don't find that the 20-25 year olds in general have much to say although there are exceptions I've always found it a turn on to be watched - and I think particularly by older couples -- they have better manners and as partners, as someone else said - they've already worked out their issues... Naughty A.

Most of the sex I have away from the swinging scene is with people my own age. So when I swing I enjoy experimenting with different people of different generations and culture. It gives me a thril to play with an older woman, or to suck the cock of a man old enough to be my father. Not that I have any incestuous thoughts. To be able to bring an older couple to orgasm is delightful Laura (25)

We are 49 and 40, my wife being the younger. We do go to an on premise club occasionally and always have a great time. There are usually couples there both older and younger than we are, some as young as our older kids (early 20's). We usually stick pretty much nearer our age group for play partners although we hot tub and converse with everyone, and we all have an enjoyable experience. I will admit that there are some really hot looking younger (20's) women there, but my involvement is limited to fantasizing how hot their MOM must be to have made something that looks that good.......LOL. I guess I have reached the age where I appreciate comfort over speed LOL.

We were just discussing this last night and came up with the same thing. J still has the hots for Sean Connery and he's 72! Age would only be a problem if they looked or acted like our parents. That would be weird. -B

The only time I would say I'm uncomfortable is when older swingers start hitting on me simply because I'm younger. This is more common in a situation when the crowd is mostly older. I have no problems with older swingers and have played with older couples on occasion... it's all about the people not the age. Of course, if an older couple/person reminds me of my parents it's an instant turn-off... but just the fact that they are older doesn't instantly mean they will remind me of one of my parents.

My boyfriend and I are in our mid forties...frankly he looks younger than I do. He is attracted to older women and so all of our encounters have been with couples older than we are. At first I thought "ewwww" but now I concentrate less on the physical and more on the mental aspects of what we are doing. We're really doing it for/to each other so it doesn't matter all that much what the people look like as long as they are well groomed.

I dont know about others, but I have nothing against the so called "older swingers", infact I think it's great. I would feel more at ease with "older swingers", as they seem a lot more approachable, they have already worked through the sometimes Bull of looks over personality. I am 28 and I would happily swing with a aolder couple if we clicked, I tend to look at the inside rather than the outside.

I think it's great to see "older" couples at clubs and parties. We are what some would call a young couple. She is turning 23 and I 26 this year. We have never looked down upon or avoided a couple because of thier age. That is rather childish. We have been watched by "older" couples at a party whilst we were in the act. That wasn't a problem either. As for the question at hand: "Are you younger swingers, 20s. uncomfortable when there are swingers in the club that are in their 40s, 50s, even 60s"? Absolutely not!

I don't know how it is at swinger clubs(we've never been to one), but I did have the opportunity to photograph a local bikini contest recently. We live in a college town, and young cuties are everywhere. One of the contestants came up to my wife and told her (somewhat drunkenly) that these three guys thought she(my wife) was really hot, and could they meet her? They almost dropped their drinks when she told them that she had a kid almost their age(18). She turns 40 this month, and turns heads everywhere she goes. I'll be 56 this summer, so hanging around with a "babe" like her doesn't hurt my "cool" points one bit. I actually get tickled whenever I catch these young bucks drooling over my wife. If she was into younger guys, she could definately teach them a thing or two!! Sportync

For myself, I feel like Chicup does, but on the flip side of it. Being in the over 40 age group, the younger ages don't appeal to me sexually, therefore I don't spend a lot of time noticing them. I am not uncomforable in the same environment, quite the contrary, but I don't find them as sexually appealing as I do the older crowd. Speaking for myself, I find the older crowd more sexually appealing as the way they present themselves is generally in a more mature manner, (I said, generally) and there is just something so cool about seeing them being as sexually interested and comfortable with their own sexuality as they were in their youth, (if not more so), that makes me think wow! I can't wait to turn 50. Lori