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Its the eyes. I can feel them undressing me when I am clothed, and caressing me when I am naked.

I agree with eyes. A smile and other things can be faked but a twinkle in a woman's eyes when you meet her is honest.

We have friends where we allow cumming inside the girls. My wife absolutely insists on bareback. We met old friends and had unprotected sex a few weeks ago, fantastic. I don't believe We want to go further than these friends. We one had condom swinging experience and it was not too much fun. I love the feeling of shooting inside the girls vagina. We are not suprrswingers, no clubs and orgies, just trusted friends,,

Thank you Jnr for your insight. Elizabeth Cramer also has several books on S & M available. Can you get past the cheating? Please don’t swing right now, not fair to the others. Is there a way to explore this safely together? Role play? As hard as it was to hear at least she did tell you. Best of luck.

First of all understand that BDSM is a powerful fantasy and quickly becomes an urge and then a NEED. Since she was on a fetish website and communicating with Dominant men (you can bet your life he wasn't the only one - communicating I mean) then it was eventually going to happen anyway - the need is that strong. At least she spent time carefully selecting her first Dom. She may not be submissive to you but obviously she has a need to be submissive to someone else. You are not into it so you would not be Dominant enough for her and even if you tried you would not be convincingly into it for her. Halfhearted domination is a wet blanket (anyone catch the lower case "D" there?). Those who are seriously into that lifestyle understand the rules of engagement and the power exchange between the Top and bottom (Dominant and submissive)and all the safety issues. It is actually harder to be good Top than a bottom - you are responsible for the bottom, their welfare and THEIR SATISFACTION. This is role play but the trick is to make it seem real to both participants. All that being said, I agree that since she persuaded you - wore you down more to the point - into swinging in the first place and she has a submissive fetish AND she was already acting on it by being on that website, it was inevitable that she would do this if you refused to participate (the FORCE is strong - believe me). Maybe she thought that swinging might suffice, but I doubt it. Given that she had planned to do it, at least she took some time to choose the first man to Dominate her. The fact that he wasn't as you put it "that attractive" is mostly irrelevant in BDSM - or maybe not to her, maybe that is part of her fetish - to be Dominated, used and fucked by a man she does not find conventionally sexually attractive (define "attractive!) - how much more submissive can you get? (You said "had sex with" her. I can guaranty that was not the scene - he fucked her and she loved it.) You are not into BDSM so you cannot get your head around "the things he did to her" or that she was the willing participant. I get that, but you have to realize at least that she - in fact they both - enjoy and thrive on it. The fact that she told you the first thing he did was tell her to get on her knees and she did willingly (probably very eagerly) ought to be a big clue. Also although it sounds logical that she should let you meet him first, in fact believe it or not it would pretty much destroy the fantasy - unless you were taking her to surrender her to him and wimp off home on your own, but that wouldn't be on your radar. Unfortunately I can't offer you much advice except that the two of you have to work it out somehow between you. Leaving it unresolved will be a disaster. And you both have to resist any finger pointing. There is no question that she cheated on you and one thing is certain, it will happen again and again and...... with or without your consent or knowledge. Even if she agrees to stop now, eventually the NEED will become so strong she will succumb to it. The problem with that is the risk of becoming so desperate she might get into something actually dangerous on the spur of the moment. I strongly recommend you get and read a copy of Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns - The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism - by Phillip Miller. You can get it on Amazon It is one of most highly recognized and authoritative works on the subject. At least this will give you some understanding of what it is all about and what is driving her and help you both resolve the issue one way or another. Perhaps call a truce with no more activity her part until you have (both) read the book. Maybe discuss parts of it together - let her show you what turns her on about it. Though I realize understanding it does not necessarily make it OK for you. All I can say is I wish you both the very best of luck.

Swinging is the mutual acceptance of your partner having sex with someone other than you. You do not have to be present for your partner to swing.

Daring eye contact. Confident but not overbearing.

Congrats!! Looks like you are on your way. Now you have had a taste of the excitement and fun hopefully she will go for it next time. I'm guessing she will. Sounds like she liked the exhibitionism and has made it over the hurdle of realizing she's still sexy to other people, so maybe she will give a blow job an the dance floor - even if it is only you. That should move things along nicely. Did she slow dance with other people? That's a big step forwards too (hopefully some men and topless). Hopefully you will find a couple who you feel comfortable to swing with, if not next time, then the time after. But it's a long time from New Year to Halloween and you don't want the iron to go cold, so maybe a Lifestyle cruise or something? Trip to Hedo maybe? Join a club? Looks like it's going to happen and it may be more sudden that you expect. Good luck!!!

Didn't the swinging lifestyle start with "Wife swapping" and "Key Parties"? Those both allude to separate room play.

The attraction is 100% on my wife. If shes likes, I like. Personally, attitude is tops I would say. The physical side is low on the scale.

Smile is the first impression, but the personality is more important than anything else.

The very 1st thing I notice about a woman is her eyes. Not the color, but whether or not they shine, or sparkle, or whatever the proper word would be. Do they light up? The 2nd thing, oddly enough, would be her hair. I find long hair very attractive. Soft, curly, and long.

That's easy. Her smile. It is the sexiest curve a woman has.

Yes, you just have to locate people who want to play with people your age. I am unaware of your location, but you can hit paydirt in Florida, USA. The Villages near Orlando. Paradise Lakes near Tampa. Many in southern Florida. We are 61 and we are the 25 year olds of Florida.

Amy loves the feel of a man exploding inside her and it's a turn on for me to espically if they are kissing when it happens

First time we did it included a friend and a lot of wine. It ended up being a very interesting and erotic threesome. To summarise as my friend (late 40s and a recent divorce´) began to thrust harder without protection he tried pulling out and my wife grabbed his hips and pulled him back in to finish. She ended up, and mind you he is very "Not her type" but in the heat of the moment told him "fill me with your seed, spray it deep inside me, I want to feel you cum"... and he did, he looked at me in shock I nodded it was ok. Otherwise when we do it is almost always protected.

Personally condoms never felt good to me. I love the feel of semen hitting my cervix, it's one of the only things that makes me orgasm.

So I mentioned my wife going solo to our local club this weekend in my Swingers social media, and asncpl asked about it. I thought I'd spin this off into a new thread since it's a different topic.. This was the third time my wife has gone solo to our club. I've posted about it before in other threads, but the quick summary is that after years of swinging together, and after me playing separately with a friend-with-benefits (now sadly ex-fwb), we reached the point where I was not only comfortable with the idea of her playing alone - I was serious turned on by the idea. It's been fun. She goes to the club. I stay home and do my own things. The first time, as I think I've said elsewhere, I expected to be nervous or excited while she was out but I actually didn't even think about what she was up to until she got home. It's been pretty much the same each time. The idea of her going out and playing with other guys majorly turns me on, but while she's out I tend to forget about it and just watch Netflix until she gets home. My wife enjoys it too. She doesn't bring it up herself, but when I suggest she could go out to the club she just lights up. This most recent time she'd said "maybe" she'd go if she "had the energy." Come the evening, the only question in her mind was how to dress sexy and dress for the cold weather at the same time. She is also amused as all hell by how hot this makes me. She loves that she can drive me completely wild by just mentioning it. So far, the only issue that I'm having is the worry that I might be a little too into this. I fear it may be moving toward fetishistic proportions. I'm resolved to try having some "just us" sex in the near future to try and curb that a bit. Otherwise, it's being a fun ride so far. Feel free too ask questions (even about the salacious details, I'd love to share) or share your own experiences...