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Thank you Jnr for your insight. Elizabeth Cramer also has several books on S & M available. Can you get past the cheating? Please don’t swing right now, not fair to the others. Is there a way to explore this safely together? Role play? As hard as it was to hear at least she did tell you. Best of luck.

So I know this isn’t a particular sexy post and can be controversial. But I’ve was wondering how many of us have had the battle of faith vr swinging. I am a man of faith regularly attend and volunteer at church I love my lord and seek him but I also want to swing. There are things that my wife and I want to try such as a dp gb and full swap. But I know if I let this part of my life get out that there would be a lot of shame and condemnation. I mentioned it to someone recently and it was meet with shame. So how do y’all feel about faith and swinging?

It is a truism that the ladies run the LS. “No” indeed means no, it is non-negotiable and it is irrevocable. “No” is also the default response. Avoiding “no” and getting to “yes” requires sensitivity and skill. Some tips... Speak to her, speak with her. She makes the decisions. The gentleman she is with might be her protector but he is not the decision-maker. Charm matters. Respect matters. It may be a costume party. It may be naked in the hot tub. It may be at dinner. The setting is irrelevant. She is a lady and expects to be treated as such. Consent matters. Ask. Do not assume. Accept the response gracefully. Think before you speak. Ribald humor might or might not be welcome. Locker room conversation is almost never welcome. The LS is about relationships. A gentleman does not kiss and tell. Discussing past partners is almost never appropriate. There is one exception: your spouse/significant other. Describe her as the queen that she is. Make it clear that there is no competition, nor will you compromise your respect for her. Loyalty and love do matter—they make the LS safe for all those other fun things. Create a private moment. Your potential playmate does not want her choices and preferences to be known except when she chooses to make them known. If you are getting to “yes”, be sensitive that she may want to “check in” with her spouse. She is going home with him, not you. If you get to “yes”, remember that it’s about her more than it is about you. Listen. Make the memory wonderful. Say thank you. You might be asked back.

Who was the Doctor? Larry Nassar trying to explain how one of his girls came up pregnant? There is no way this can happen. Spreading false information like this is a huge disservice.

We have done it all the reverse of what is talked about here. Whenever we had a threesome with a stranger he was a stranger. We fuck without even knowing our names or talking anything personal. Some we become friends with and we fuck again, but it doesn't feel the same. Actually, we haven't done the meet up, club or party thing. Would love to experience that too. There are none in our area. The nearest is NYC and that is 200 miles away.

First of all understand that BDSM is a powerful fantasy and quickly becomes an urge and then a NEED. Since she was on a fetish website and communicating with Dominant men (you can bet your life he wasn't the only one - communicating I mean) then it was eventually going to happen anyway - the need is that strong. At least she spent time carefully selecting her first Dom. She may not be submissive to you but obviously she has a need to be submissive to someone else. You are not into it so you would not be Dominant enough for her and even if you tried you would not be convincingly into it for her. Halfhearted domination is a wet blanket (anyone catch the lower case "D" there?). Those who are seriously into that lifestyle understand the rules of engagement and the power exchange between the Top and bottom (Dominant and submissive)and all the safety issues. It is actually harder to be good Top than a bottom - you are responsible for the bottom, their welfare and THEIR SATISFACTION. This is role play but the trick is to make it seem real to both participants. All that being said, I agree that since she persuaded you - wore you down more to the point - into swinging in the first place and she has a submissive fetish AND she was already acting on it by being on that website, it was inevitable that she would do this if you refused to participate (the FORCE is strong - believe me). Maybe she thought that swinging might suffice, but I doubt it. Given that she had planned to do it, at least she took some time to choose the first man to Dominate her. The fact that he wasn't as you put it "that attractive" is mostly irrelevant in BDSM - or maybe not to her, maybe that is part of her fetish - to be Dominated, used and fucked by a man she does not find conventionally sexually attractive (define "attractive!) - how much more submissive can you get? (You said "had sex with" her. I can guaranty that was not the scene - he fucked her and she loved it.) You are not into BDSM so you cannot get your head around "the things he did to her" or that she was the willing participant. I get that, but you have to realize at least that she - in fact they both - enjoy and thrive on it. The fact that she told you the first thing he did was tell her to get on her knees and she did willingly (probably very eagerly) ought to be a big clue. Also although it sounds logical that she should let you meet him first, in fact believe it or not it would pretty much destroy the fantasy - unless you were taking her to surrender her to him and wimp off home on your own, but that wouldn't be on your radar. Unfortunately I can't offer you much advice except that the two of you have to work it out somehow between you. Leaving it unresolved will be a disaster. And you both have to resist any finger pointing. There is no question that she cheated on you and one thing is certain, it will happen again and again and...... with or without your consent or knowledge. Even if she agrees to stop now, eventually the NEED will become so strong she will succumb to it. The problem with that is the risk of becoming so desperate she might get into something actually dangerous on the spur of the moment. I strongly recommend you get and read a copy of Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns - The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism - by Phillip Miller. You can get it on Amazon It is one of most highly recognized and authoritative works on the subject. At least this will give you some understanding of what it is all about and what is driving her and help you both resolve the issue one way or another. Perhaps call a truce with no more activity her part until you have (both) read the book. Maybe discuss parts of it together - let her show you what turns her on about it. Though I realize understanding it does not necessarily make it OK for you. All I can say is I wish you both the very best of luck.

Daring eye contact. Confident but not overbearing.

We are so glad you posted this question. My wife and I have discussed being with a couple and she has asked me to also share a cock with her. She gets so turned on when we talk about it and I must say her getting turned on makes me eager to suck and be sucked. Neither of us have had a bi experience but hope one day to. My wife wants another woman to take control and give her pleasure but also guide her to give the other wife exactly what she wants while the men lay there watching and stroking one another. The Ladies would start sucking us and then take one of the husbands down with them to start the beginning of each of them going down on one another and exploding all over the women. My wife has also expressed the women pegging the men. Not sure about that yet. One step at a time. Meeting a couple we have a spark with & interested in the same things as us is where we are lost. lol

Stop all swinging activities, figure out for real why both of you are in this. Then figure out your future actions. Sounds to us like you need to reconnect and see where you really stand. Be open and honest with each other. Good luck to you both.

Dave and I do like to meet other open-minded couples and singles for what I like to call the 'whatever' play. I too have been with several gay couples and first started liking to see guys suck each other when I was in my first year in college. Most of my boyfriends were not up to big cocks, but both my husbands had no fears. Dave has the biggest cock of my guys, and I love to see it get swallowed up by other couples, and we both are cum lovers, sharing snowballs with other couples. Of all the places I have lived, Las Vegas has the most same thinking couples like us.

I would also add, check-in throughout to verify that things are going okay and everything is still good. Consent can change, especially if you don't know if you are going to like something because you have never done it. Should the burden be on the woman to stop things and say no? Probably. Many females were raised (in the US) to preserve relationships and not make waves ("be the good girl", "don't hurt their feelings"). So, sometimes, saying no, or that you thought things would be okay but they are not, or expressing discomfort can be difficult for some women (men, too, I am sure, but this thread is about women). This can be made worse when two couples are playing, because if the woman's partner is having fun, perhaps she won't want to interrupt that. Easy enough thing to do-- check in with her to be sure all is good. I know, I know: "it interrupts the flow" (whine). Well, better than the alternatives where the woman has a bad experience. Even if you have a boundaries talk beforehand (which should happen), boundaries can change.

Certainly there is. Our couch, for instance... Honestly, age is a number. Sexy happens between the ears. 'Course its best if some of the naughty bits are involved too.

Mr. Playmate and I had just filled the other's wife, and rolled off to recover. Mrs. Playmate was gasping for breath as was Mrs. Alura, but for a different reason. Laura placed a knee on each side of my head and said, "I have a steaming pussy full of come, Darling. I need your magic tongue." That told me she hadn't climaxed. Her vagina knew the way to my mouth. Holding the labia apart, she nestled them over my nose, letting loose a flood from within. I managed to sweep most away to run down my cheeks while I concentrated on making Laura yodel. While Laura was peaking, I felt Mrs. Playmate's warm mouth engulf me. Laura was holding Mr. Playmate's rapidly recovering cock, her lips headed for it. She rolled onto her back, pointed her toes at the ceiling and guided Mr. Playmate where she fully expected him to deposit another load. He did. Mrs. Playmate and I found each other again and added to one of my favorite swinging memories. Thanks to the Swingers Board for giving me the opportunity to relive those wonderful times.

Of course, it's not weird. We all have our preferences and boundaries. I'd say sucking a nice cock to completion is a 10 on my scale. Ass play a 6 and kissing a 3. I am definitely much more interested in the cock and balls!

It was a factor in our discussions. My wife practices a form of Protestant Christian, while I am a Deist. We're fine with a very kinky sex life, and started swinging, though our first foray into said was pretty terrible. The way my wife, largely, rectified things is the Bible, the Old Testament specifically, is loaded with non-monogamous relationships, including one that, according to the text, was God's blessing (2 Samuel 12). For me it was a lot easier; the Light of Reason is what guides Deists, and there couldn't be anything more obvious than people like to get their freak on.

The easy way to do it is to just do it without thinking about it. How do you think women swallow cum, it is not as gross as you think.

I was 27 and dated a woman that was 32 and very sexually skilled. I was very straight and conservative and never thought about eating my own come. I had just come off her divorce and was very horny and this sexy blonde wanted to take me to bed. She let me screw her missionary style under the sheets but then when I came she didn’t have an orgasm so I pulled out. Before I could rollover she pushed my shoulders forcibly making me get under the sheets and go down on her. I could actually smell and see my semen all over her labia lips and dripping from her dilated vagina. She grabbed the back of my head forcing my mouth into her crotch. I not only cleaned up the mess getting a taste of my own come for the first time but she insisted on me giving an orgasm with my mouth. I had a mustache which was soaked with semen and when I came up to give her a kiss she was actually turned on and got a taste of my own come and her juices in my mouth. I quickly got over any homophobic thoughts about swallowing come since it was my own and definitely turned on my new girlfriend so from then on I had to go down on her after screwing. She taught me to respect a woman’s body and if I’m going to use her for sex she deserves to have an orgasm whether it be from my cock or from my mouth.

I enjoy goobling up my husbands or friends out of some closer wives as long as it keeps things hot. I love it when my husband cleans his mess out of me. Would love to have him do others but it's not this thing. Anal creampies are a no

my wife is a small woman and I love to see her riding a large cock and have the guy cum in her. After he has pulled out, I will dive right between her thighs and lick her clean. I also love the feeling of her pussy full of another mans (mens) cum.

The answer is simple - have an MFM and let the other guy cum in your wife first, you can eat her out while still in the mood, then you can take sloppy seconds. Everyone's a winner - the other guy will be happy, you'll be so wound up excited you'll accomplish your goal, and your wife will have three orgasms. As for us in our poly family, the women will deliberately eat another girl's sloppy pussy because we're all bi, and well, we all like cum. The guys are bi and don't want to lick cum, but if they will go down on us afterwards.

I have tried it all the different ways that I can think of. My cum in her, my cum in a girlfriend. someone else's cum in Eileen, someone else's cum in a playmate at a party. Cum on lips and tongue, mine or playmates, and at the time it is SEXY. Erotic. Sensual. What has surprised me most is that there is almost no taste to cum when it is mixed with pussy nectar, or on the lips of a lover with saliva. Otto

We really need a puking emoticon. Thats my thoughts on it.

If I haven't cum yet, I eat other the other guys' jit right out of my wife's twat. It usually makes her cum again, almost immediately--especially if she's sucking his cock. He reciprocates with his wife. Now as someone above mentioned, if I've (we guys) have also cum, then if the gals want us to eat them out, they just have to hold it a while, 'cause we'll not be up to it for a while--as was written--mojo out the door. (Note: I had read, a while back, that lifesavers are one way for a female to eat a male's cum when giving him a blow-job. The same works for eating creampies... especially wild cherry.)

I have to cum at least 2 times when we have sex, so eating her out after I cum inside her the first time really makes me stay hard and fuck her again. After that I love to eat her out more, my best thing in sex is eating pussy!! facelick

as the male I love it facelick I do have a problem most of the time of doing it after I have cum in her not sure why (its sorta like just wanting to roll over and go to sleep issue) We have a steady partner that when he cums in her I always go down on her. she does seem to really enjoy it and I know I do

My wife wanted me to do it because when it was done to her by another guy she said it was so erotic, and for a long period of time I tried but every time I would cum I also lost interest in doing it. Finally after smoking some weed and then making love to her where I filled her pussy with my hot cum, I went and ate her out. And she was moaning with such pleasure that I did not want to stop. Now I do it to her all the time, and also enjoy it.

I started eating my wife after I fucked her years ago and a while back after we found a threesome partner she wanted me to eat her after he fucked her. I was reluctant at first but now I enjoy it because she does. I decided what the hell, she tastes his cum why shouldn't I. A

I've not voted yet, but the way the poll is set up, at this point I'd go with the NEVER selection. Here's the deal: Have I every willingly eaten another guy's sperm? No, I haven't, and I'm not interested in doing it. Since I started in the lifestyle, I'm happy to provide the woman in an MFM with prolonged oral sex, but once a condomless hubby cums in her, my mouth does not go there. Have I inadvertently eaten hubby's sperm because I went down on her? Maybe. But if I knew hubby had cum in her within the last several hours -- and she hadn't douched -- then I'd try to find other ways to get her off. Have I ever gone down on a woman after cumming in her? Yes. Not often, but when I've been involved in short-term and long-term relationships -- prior to my dabbling in the lifestyle starting in 2000, or my vanilla sex now -- it has happened occasionally. A few times it was very obvious, but I never really looked forward to doing that specifically. It just happened between the two of us. So, it's a little weird for me to consider, but I have tasted my own sperm a few times when I went down on a woman after non-condom intercourse. Also, since I more-often-than-not kiss a woman after she has blown me, I have also tasted my own secondhand, both in my pre-swing and swing eras. I have no problem with that, but again, it's not really on my "to do" list. But really, I don't look forward to it. My own I can put up with on occasion, that's just the way things work. But another guy's output? Not intentionally. However, for the few times I go condomless (with couples I've known for awhile) if the husband/SO wants to go down on her after I've spilled my seed (to be a little Biblical about it), I have no problem with that. After all, if he hasn't cum in her, it's all mine. Okay, now things are getting yucky. If you don't change the poll selections to be more inclusive then eventually I'll vote NEVER. So, as usual, you got to read through a long-winded answer from Thrax