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Our club is so strict with single guys they are wallflowers afraid to even approach. It'd be nice to find a good balance of respectful guys who have confidence enough to introduce themselves and charm their way into my wife's imagination, then her....It's not that difficult to seduce her.

I just had one of my fantasies fullfilled. A gang bang with 6 guys. I'm still a little tired but it was wonderful.

Does an mmfm count as Gb? Or should it be like > 5 guys? The most I had was with 3 guys, including my longtime partner. Though I feel thrilled at the thought of playing with more guys, I think managing a bigger group can be difficult if one is maintaining some boundaries? Any thoughts on this. When I tried it out a few years ago I was so worried about the health issues surrounding it that It limited my choices to a very few guys who are not total strangers to me. My partner, a common friend and his brother. Our friend later opted out as he became comitted to a mono gf, but the brother wanted me to be his gf, so we ended up as a V poly. The mmfm experience was great. It was overwhelming and was a sensory overload and I can't imagine what happens if I added more guys to it. I noticed the guys were having anxieties at first (including myself) so we didnt engage as a group or gb-like outright. We did it 1-1 separately and as my guys eased up, they began to play as a team. But as the group play energy waned, my guys took me the way they wanted, individually, til noon of next day. I was sored as hell and can hardly walk. I have to skip work on monday. ?

Like you, Venus, my wife rarely had encounters that she didn't enjoy and fit what she was feeling at the moment.

My first club (and swinging) experiences were when I was much larger. In a way, it was easier for me than now. I went into it knowing that not everyone likes larger people, so didn't have any expectations/hopes of anyone being interested. The swinging was mmf's and not in a club. Now that I have lost weight and have all the lovely things that accompany a large weight loss, I have more trouble with my confidence and feeling attractive. I must have bought into the "lose weight, you'll feel more attractive" BS. That said, every club we have been to has had people of various sizes, ages, etc. I think it is more important to manage your expectations. I like to have low expectations and be pleasantly surprised. Depending on her confidence level, and how much you look at the other women, I'd say she should just be prepared to not get all the attention/gazes. You can help a lot with that by focusing on her (while still enjoying the eye candy that is around) and putting as much energy into helping her feel attractive as you do looking at other more stereotypically attractive females. At least, that would help me. Also, in my experience, all clubs say that. Realistically, only one club can have the hottest people, best whatever. They all hype themselves up. Take it with a grain of salt.

I think that's a perfect example of some ruining it for all. Sad it has to be that way, but if I was a club owner, that's exactly what my policy would be too. You're also correct in that it is really not that hard, just show some respect and don't be a dickhead, yet many insist on making it so hard. I've concluded that it is mainly because they don't understand swinging, and honesty, probably never will. They small percentage that does, they will always be welcome in the Lifestyle, the majority that don't, they'll just continue to come and go since unfortunately there is no shortage of guys who don't know how to be anything but a dick...in more ways than one.

What kind of clothing-optional resort is this? Have they no overseeing? And did you not report this behaviour to the resort management? At any clothing-optional resort of our acquaintance, reporting this behaviour would have resulted in a ban -- in perpetuity.

I don't know most of these issues because may be they happen in parties or clubs. No has always been no, and I haven't had anyone cross limits. All men I have been have been very polite and considerate. Once I told a man his size scares me and he said no problem, take the cowgirl position and take in as much or as little as you want. They always check whether I am comfortable, how hard should they go, where they can touch. No one has pushed me to suck, I do or I don't. Usually, I make the rules. At the beginning I ask will you go down on me? If he doesn't he doesn't get reciprocity from me and that is fine. Only ones who have not gone down on me are from England, and they are fine if I don;t do the same. One Iranian, once said it isn't part of his culture, I asked him to leave and he left. All these talks about misbehavior from men confuses me as that is not my experience in ten years over a hundred or more encounters.

As soon as he reach for YOUR wine you should have said that's our wine, we did not invite you to have some, please don't touch it. Following which you should have politely but firmly told him to leave. That kind of behavior is rude and obnoxious in ANY situation, not just swinging. If he didn't comply you should have complained to the manager. Assholes like that will continue to behave like that until they are banned. You should have told the second guy to leave also - long before he tried to follow you. When you let these types of people continue sit at your table with you it gives them the wrong signal that you are OK with it. You need to nip it in the bud immediately. As soon as they sit down you need to tell them we are having a private conversation here thank you, please leave us alone. And immediately escalate if they do not comply.

OK, the only person I ran into at a meet and greet from my past was the brother of a girl I dated in high school and his wife. I remember asking him about his sister, who was cute as hell in school, and he laughed and said she'd gained a lot, a very lot, of weight. It was always enjoyable seeing him around town after that and talking but we never gave any indication that we'd get together as two swinging couples. But I had a very interesting childhood experience with a girl that I'd love to have run into as adults at a swinger's gathering. Toni was one of those girls who loved attention. The interesting thing was that she was cute enough to get attention without showing her panties. But, show her panties, she did. It was in fourth grade and Toni would sit near the back of the classroom and when I, and I’m guessing other boys, looked back at her she would smile, spread her legs a bit, and pull her skirt up enough to see her panties. A year later I was in line for the water fountain in fifth grade. Toni and, her best friend, Nina were in front of me in line and talking about two cousins of Toni, a boy and a girl our age, who had said they’d been having intercourse. I remember Nina saying she didn’t believe it but Toni swore it must be true. Toni, who was standing in front of me and between me and Nina, asked me if I believed it. I just smiled and said that, if were me, I’d sure do it, or something to that affect. About halfway through the next hour of class, a note was passed to me. It was from Toni. It was short and to the point. “You said that you would fuck. Would you fuck me?” I wrote a quick, “yes”, and sent it to Toni through the usual delivery system of boys and girls in the classroom. We met outside in the playground as soon as class let out for the next recess. I remember Toni telling me more graphically what her cousins had told her. I remember her saying how they used Vaseline to help. That recess didn’t go further than just talk but that talk had really gotten me fired up. That was the last recess of the day. When school let out I found Toni. She was now in charge and she knew it. She would tease and then run away. I didn’t know girls could run that fast as I chased her. There was a place near the playground with some tall grass and that’s where I caught her. When we went down together, I was laying on top of her and, if we’d known how, I would certainly have kissed her. I wanted to but just didn’t know how and I don’t think she did either. The next day we agreed to meet again after school. The school’s playground was connected to a city park and the fire department had donated old firetrucks to the parks for kids to play on. That particular truck had been used to transport firemen and had two compartments that could hold four or five firemen in each and the compartments were separated by a wall. The truck was old and the floor had long since rusted and had been removed for safety reasons so, if you stood on the ground in one compartment, the dividing wall began about your waist. Toni and I decided to stand on each side and let the other explore each other’s genitals. That way we didn’t have to see each other’s faces while we explored. Now I can’t speak for Toni but, I loved the look and feel of my very first female genitalia. OK, why am I being so careful about this? Hell, I loved that little pussy! I don’t know how long we played with each other. I’m not sure if I penetrated her with my fingers or not. If I’d known that it was OK, I’d have gone down to my knees and used my tongue. I do remember us pushing closer and my dick feeling the warmth of her body. But we didn’t, as she’d written in her note, fuck that day. And for some reason we never had a repeat of any kind. We had seven more years of school together and, for some reason, we never dated when we were of dating age. We were just friends with a shared moment and memory. I’ve often wondered if Toni remembers those moments as well as I do? I reconnected with Nina a few years ago on FaceBook and asked her about Toni. I’ve always wondered if Toni told Nina, who was her best friend in grade school. Nina didn’t seem to have any knowledge though so I guess that Toni hadn’t told. And I know that I didn’t tell anyone, even some of my best friends. Nina and I communicated a lot for about two years and I really wanted to ask her more about Toni. But, sadly, Nina passed away before I could.

or much much more depending on the bottle...

In both cases, I'd have asked immediately, "who invited you"? If he didn't take the hint my next question would have been, "do we look busy"? And if he STILL didn't get, "go away, NOW". We've often said that in swinging events we don't owe anybody anything more than simple common courtesy. In neither case did the single guy give you any courtesy at all so, in my mind, all bets are off and blunt is the way to go.

To quote Nancy Reagan "Just say NO!" You probably should not blame a guy for his status. You can't blame a guy for trying. You certainly can blame him for being obnoxious about it. From us: The first guy we would have told to take his wine and drink it elsewhere. The second one would have gotten a swift and firm NO THANKS NOW LEAVE.

There would be no good purpose in my giving advice about DP until after you complete step number one: tell your girlfriend what's brewing in your mind. After you learn how she feels, come back to us again with this question. I see that you are new to Swingersboard. I recommend that you read the Curious about Swinging forum. That might also generate some worthwhile questions.

My wife Mary was a person who didn't like the idea of just anybody - not 'picky' but more cautious, and so I never saw her with more than three men in a night, and one of them was me. Usually, she'd have the other two men at different times. Then, one night at a house party we started slow with another couple, then a man invited Mary into the common room and I was a little surprised that she accepted. So I watched her take twenty minutes or so with the guy. As she was beginning to be finished with him another guy approached them and she held out her hand to him - one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen. Of course they went at it, and before long she had that guy and another one at her beck and call. About that time I went into the kitchen to get a drink and a woman I knew invited me into a bedroom. We spent a half hour, maybe more, together and when I came back to the common room Mary was still going at it with yet another man. In total, she spent over two hours in the common room on her back (and kneeling, and vertical on top of another guy and . . .) As we drove home that night, she was happy to compare and contrast her conquests. She told me she’d just gotten into ‘the zone,’ and compared it to an out of body experience. Neither of us have a specific count of the number of guys, but I’m sure of at least eight, there were probably more. (And no, I wasn’t one of those guys.) Mary said that one of the things was that we knew many of the other couples there, and she felt very safe. She directed us back into the old patterns again, and she never had more than two or three men in a night again. Just a very unexpected one-off.

For me, it is about my wife. I would like to be sitting with my back on the headboard, wife leaning back on my chest. While I am foldling her breasts, she spreads her legs and gets eaten out by another woman until she squirts. Then, she turns around, sits on my cock, and starts making out with the woman while grinding on me. So hot.

We joined a small swinger group here on the gulf coast a while back. Our little club is Jade Pleasure Club. Right now there are three couples and 3 single men who are members.