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Good point. The way we talk about it, unless a dick was in a vagina or ass, they may have "played" but didn't "have sex." Only for a while. After little rest and some gentle play, the hunger develops for the next orgasm, especially if it's a new partner that time. Hell, even after two fucks with other women, my wife turns me on like crazy.

Women can usually have more partners than men. I, the man, can have sex at least once per night. Usually. My wife has done better.

one less than too many

I am sure that your male partner will be there to supervise and direct traffic. Not a good idea for a woman to go alone with male gangbangers who she may not know personally.

Wow, is it quiet on this board this morning. To be expected, I guess, most of us are running around cooking the turkey and getting ready for all the vanilla folk. I hope you have a great day, and remember to thank God, Fate or the deity of your choice for everything you've got. But . . . this is also a special holiday for me. After three years of talking, considering, and screwing around, this weekend is also the anniversary of our entry into the LifeStyle. We were in our early 50's, sex between us was in that blah stage. If we did anything to heighten it, such as going to a bed and breakfast, it would work for a few days then lapse back to yeah-let's-get-it-on-nothing-better-to-do. We had nothing planned for the Thanksgiving weekend, and as we were getting ready to go over to the relatives for the meal, I said to her, "Hey, want to go to a sex club this weekend?" It was said mostly as a joke, but to my surprise she thought for a moment and said, "Yeah, why not." That night after we got home I got on the Internet (very slow at the time, dial-up modem) and found about a couple of swing clubs near us. She got very excited as we talked about it, had a million questions that weren't answered by any FAQ I could find. So early on Friday we called the club we'd selected, it was returned by the owner, he was kind enough to spend at least ten minutes on the phone with us, filling us in. (Thank you, Jim!) We headed for the mall in the Hot Friday shmush, got her a new bra and panty, and a new babydoll. That night we arrived at the club at 8:10, Jim had one of his volunteers take us for a tour of the place, make sure we knew the customs and more importantly the rules. We talked with other couples, watched a girl grind on the dance floor, danced with other people ourselves. Perhaps around 11:00 we got into the hot tub, I remember how excited I was as other men first got a good look at my wife's naked body. We found no one looking to play with us (we found out later it was because we were newbies,) and so we went into a room ourselves and started foreplay. We left the door open, a man came to it, I waved him inside. With our approval, he kissed my wife, felt her tit, exciting us both. I gave her the option to invite him to join us for sex, she declined, wanting our first experience to be a swap. I remember my orgasm was fantastic, all of hers were off the chart. As we drove home, we were so enthusiastic that we made love again that night and a few times the next day. And thus began our long and enjoyable journey into non-monogamy. Happy anniversary to me!

You left them alone. Expecting your wife to intuit your wishes is not fair. Our threesomes start out the first time with myself acting the role of "good host". That means that I allow the play between the playmate and my wife to develop how it may without interference. My level of participation is determined by what happens. I am there for her support and safety first of all. She knows this and always has a good time and lets herself go with the flow between them. I AM participating. It is just not in a sexual way all of the time. Her appreciation is expressed later when we are alone. The second and subsequent times my role becomes progressively more dominant until the playmate and I figure out our own particular dance in pleasing her. By the end of the second time you might be surprised how well we perceive each others signals. From the outside I think it might look like it was choreographed. (G) As a side note we always choose threesome partners together. One of the criteria is whether they have the potential to be called back for repeats. (This is even before any sex play at all. She has to like the guy enough that she would accept a second date on a vanilla level.) The first time is still part of the audition to see how well her responds to her "instruction".( By this I mean does he pick up on differences in her groans. If she says to hard does he instantly try to correct. etc.)

5 years for us. Before I met my wife, I was for a short time part of a poly triad. That helped set the stage for me mentally. I told my wife about this, and she was ...shocked is too strong of a word, but along the way to getting shocked. She said she'd never consider that, and was amazed I'd even tried. She was very black and white about it; it was never going to happen, even if I did suggest it (which, I hadn't...I was just talking about my past). Occasionally it would come up in conversation as our dating, and later married years went on, but it was never serious and was just reflecting on the past. Then, five years and a couple of kids into our marriage, she says something like to me one night; "You know, it would be awesome to have two guys massaging me at the same time" (she loves massages). That was the tip of the snow slide that turned into an avalanche, and resulted in us swinging about six months later. I would have bet a million bucks she would never have wanted that, or even begun to consider it. It's amazing. And no, I didn't talk her into it or anything the like...I would never. We came to it together. Now, she loves it.

We are just dipping our toes in the water. We have been married 32 years.

I know that 'playing' for men is not necessarily 'penetrative sex.' So for men as well as women we can have a great amount of partners. For both sexes, when you're done, you're done.

I forgot to add the quote for the question so I thought I'd reply again. Cade#, my wife and I have been married for almost 47 years now.

We've been married for almost 47 years now.

We typically like to play with two other couples. The men can usually go twice with once each with the other women. A change in partner and some oral will gets it back up and hard enough to go that second time sloppy. If a woman needs more, any of us are willing to go down on her.

Hubby and I went to a Halloween party at a local club. It was fun dressing up and meeting people, but I was not prepared, and may have inadvertently offended a nice, attractive young lady. We arrived at the club, and met some nice folks. It was going to be a busy night, and one of the regulars offered a tour, which we gratefully accepted. During the course of the tour, he introduced us to the owner of the club, who was also very gracious and welcoming. After the tour, we decided to reserve one of the remaining tables, in view of the growing crowd and minimal open seating near the dance floor. After an hour or so, an attractive woman in her mid-30s came to our table and introduced herself. She said right off that she was a unicorn, and had accompanied another couple to the party (they were all cutely dressed in a matching theme). She said that she had noticed me and my husband, and wanted to get to know us better. We chatted for a while, and told her that we were newbies, and we're just here to check out the vibe and get a feel for the place. She told us about her history in the lifestyle, and commented that she knew how we felt as first timers. After visiting for a while, we thanked her for the meeting and she headed back to her friends. 10-15 minutes later, she came back and asked me to dance. I was admittedly a bit surprised, and looked at my husband. He smiled and said "why not?" I then joined her for a dance. It was fun, but was the first time that I had ever danced with a woman, especially with both of us dressed provocatively. I enjoyed it, and admittedly encountered some new to me sexual excitement. After the dance, she joined us again at our table. We chatted further, and she shared some more about herself with us, and her experiences with other couples. She asked me if I would like to join her in one of the activity rooms just to talk and get to know each other better. I appreciated her candor, and told her again that we were enjoying ourselves at the party, but wanted to just watch and take things slowly for now. After a bit more conversation, she excused herself to return to her friends. She came by a bit later with another nice lady in tow, and asked me to join them on the dance floor. I politely declined. After that dance, she came back to our table again, this time sitting across from my husband. We chatted again for a while, and she asked him if we would like her phone number. My husband politely declined, telling her that we hoped to see her again at a future party to get to know her better, but we were not yet ready to exchange contact information. She then said that she loved his Scottish Highlander costume (kilt and all) and asked him if she could sit in his lap. We had as a couple agreed that tonight was "look and talk only", so he politely declined. She then asked for and received hugs from us before saying that she looked forward to seeing us again soon. I told my husband that I had never been approached by a woman before, and frankly was not prepared for it. It was very flattering, though. It gives me a lot to think about. When hubby and I were talking about things on the way home, he asked me how it felt to be approached by someone of the same sex. I told him that it was interesting, and although I am somewhat bi-curious, I wasn't ready to do anything about it yet. I guess that time will tell.

I came across this article from Sheknows.com. I have always found that the best sex I’ve had was with me on top. I always attributed it to my own anatomy, an oversized clitoris. I have always felt most guys enjoy when I’m on top too. One of the additional benefits is if he cums before me I can keep him inside until I’m done as well. I have found in a group setting many men rather do it doggy. Don’t get me wrong, this can be just as satisfying though I rather me on top. At this point, it's no secret that for many people with vaginas, penetration alone is not enough to have an orgasm or even pleasurable sexual experience. While, fortunately, we're moving in the right direction in terms of acknowledging that all parties involve should enjoy themselves, what we consider "sex" (penis-in-vagina intercourse) is still very penis-centric. There's still the idea that if there happens to be clitoral stimulation, great! But that's a bonus more than an expected outcome. That's why it's so helpful to have access to data about the positions that work best for people with vaginas. An example of this is a recent survey conducted by Superdrug Online Doctor involving nearly 1,000 participants across genders living in both the United States and Europe ranging in age from 18 to 74 in which people who identified as women were asked which sex positions they enjoyed the most along with other questions about what turns them on. Turns out, the women surveyed said that cowgirl (woman on top) was their favorite position and was ranked in the top spot by 30 percent of participants. Next up were doggy-style (top pick for 21 percent), missionary (20 percent) and 69 (13 percent). As far as the position that helps women reach orgasm fastest, cowgirl came out on top again and was also ranked as the position that makes women feel the sexiest.

It needs to be her decision. I suggest both of you read more here, talk and ask.

We had a blast! Went to a LS club in OKC last night for the first time not knowing what to expect. I was thinking it would be much smaller with an older and cliquey crowd of 10-15 couples max. This place was huge and packed with 100-150 people. Great DJ, huge spread of finger foods, majorly diverse crowd. We dressed to impress and it showed. We had tons of people approach just to introduce themselves and chat. Nobody was pushy or creepy. Everyone was having fun and we felt instantly comfortable. OF COURSE, our first night we ran into a couple I know from my vanilla life. ? This also happened at our first BDSM club foray in Denver. They walked up, said hi, and chatted for a bit. Neither him or her had met my wife until that time. His wife was totally into mine and came back naked later to tell her she was the hottest girl at the club and fawned over her. I thought we'd probably see someone at some point because we are pretty well known in general for vanilla life stuff but not the first night! ? It actually made the whole evening more comfortable tbh. We ended up sitting with some wives for most of the night and people watching. All in all, it was an amazing night. We are looking forward to attending again at the next event in two weeks. The BYOL was awesome too. We'd have spent twice the entry fee in liquor on a normal club night. The no pressure feeling was awesome too. Usually when my wife is alone at a bar, either me going to the restroom or when she does, she has constant pressure from guys and here it was never like that or uncomfortable for even a second. We were both pleased and ready for the next one.

My hubby was in on it. We've done a lot of mfm and I've always wanted to do a gang bang with 6 or 7 guys. I loved every minute of it. They were all very horny and they came all over me.