I'm sorry your first experience wasn't better. that it didn't meet your fantasy or expectations. That's never fun. And let me share our first experience, maybe it can provide some help.
Our first experience would be labeled by most as a "bad experience". We were set to meet a man for a MFM. We communicated a lot before the day and during the first part of the day we were to meet. Flirting on the phone, etc. We prepped ourselves and began the 1.25 hour journey to the city to meet. All of a sudden, no more communication. Totally silent for about an hour before we left and during our drive. Experienced couples may have simply turned around and called it a night. We didn't think to do that, and we thought that if for some reason he backed out, we'd just enjoy ourselves and have a "date". As we got closer his communication began in earnest. Where were we? How long until ew'd arrive? he sent the address of a meeting place. began to flirt again. All seemed great.
We arrived to find him intelligent, smooth, flirtatious to my wife and a gentleman. Respectful. Also, he'd obviously had a drink or two before, but no red flags. small talk, flirting, then dinner where my wife sat between us and we both played with her under the table, then to his hotel. At the hotel we all drank a bit more, and then he became obviously drunk, sloppy and aggressive, but no belligerent. We all sorta played, my wife stripped and danced. it was fun. Then it stopped being fun. He was just too drunk to continue.
After a few quick glances, a node and a wink we decided to get out of there. He wasn't happy and tried to stop us. I vividly remember grabbing our things, the unopened champagne, my wife quickly getting mostly dressed and then we made for the door. A quick escape, down the stairs and past the shocked clerk at the desk. It was 3 in the morning, and here we are running down the stairs, partially dressed (no indecent), just obviously disheveled with a bottle in my hands. As we broke through the lobby doors and out into the cool evening on a quiet city street we both felt ALIVE.
Just to be clear, we never felt in any danger. I am quite capable of taking care of us.
I think at that moment we felt closer and more connected as a couple than we had in years. The sex was horrible, but the night was absolutely a winner. We'd actually gone through with it, We'd be venerable, we'd experienced sharing her for the first time and in the end we we're laughing, running out into the street as lovers, partners, and friends. I'll never forget that.
I think there is almost always a silver lining. Enjoy.