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There is an active post entitled "What makes an unforgettable blow job?" How about a discussion about what makes receiving oral unforgettable for a woman? My list: - I like getting oral while lying on my back on the bed while you kneel on the floor. Let's get comfortable first. - Don't turn me down just because someone has recently been down/in there. I may not be fresh, but I'm always clean. My girls don't have a problem with it. If it's good enough to put your dick in there, it's good enough for your mouth (except my bum; you don't have to lick my bum hole). - Don't jump in immediately. Start by looking and admiring everything I have down there: my hair, my outer labia, the coloring of my inner lips, my clit, my vaginal opening. Turn the desk lamp on, shine it on my pussy, tell me how beautiful it is. - Once you get started, use both your lips and your tongue. Go back and forth measuring my response. - My clit is big, but please don't suck on it like you're trying to suck the life out of it. - Alternate between slowly putting full tongue pressure on my clit, especially from the left and right with quickly flicking across it. - It's nice to have your tongue occasionally go across the opening of my vagina, but trying to stick it inside like a dick is not going to work, it's too small. - Gently slip your index and middle fingers into my vagina. - Even more gently and once some juices have run down, slip your ring finger into my bum. - With your other hand, play with my tits while your licking and kissing my pussy. Don't squeeze my nipples too hard! You can be a little rough with my breasts overall, but just gently brush across my nipples. - I usually don't give instructions while getting oral, but if I do, listen and follow directions. - Continue whatever you are doing at the time I come well through my orgasm. And don't be backing off because something is shooting out of there, sometimes it happens. You should be flattered. - Remember that unlike you (if you're a guy), me having an oral orgasm isn't going to diminish my capabilities for penis-in-vagina intercourse. - After I say "stop," Stop! You can keep your mouth on my pussy, but don't try stimulating me for like two minutes. After I recover we'll decide what we're going to do next - more licking, fucking, moving on. - Optional - I'll get on all fours on the bed, you get underneath and lick/kiss me while I take a dick doggie. You can skip the fingering steps above. You can play with one of my tits, but leave one for the other guy. I'll suck your dick/lick your pussy for a while, but the closer I get to cumming, it's all me, I need to breathe.

Just talking about fantasies doesn't mean that you are going to actively try and make them come true. It does mean that you can pretend and play them out together in your bedroom. As our tag line reads: If you don’t have to lie about sex, you don’t have to lie about anything and that is SO VERY true. Not talking about anything is a bad thing. Talking and doing, however, are not the same thing. Talking more, however, MAY LEAD to doing in the future. Good luck and let us know how things are going.

Every now and then I see a new picture posted that will inspire me to play with myself. But almost all of the stories that appear to be true adventures definitely work for me. Especially if the story is similar to something my wife and I shared.

At every party, club, or resort we have ever been to, the other people there were wonderfully accepting of our limits. No one gets upset if you don't want to do certain things. It's about having fun, connecting, being comfortable. My wife and I are soft swingers, which for us means we do lots of fun stuff with other people, but not intercourse. And we are always together. We have never felt like we weren't welcome or accepted by people who weren't into what we were into. I can almost guarantee that wherever you end up, the people in the lifestyle will treat you and your wife with respect and you will experience zero pressure.

I posted earlier on. In my opinion there is more to being sexy other than size and beauty. A woman can be a”10” and not be sexy. I think a lot has to do with attitude. The brain is a major factor in being”sexy”. Confidence is paramount. I think most men want an aggressive partner who is really an active participant in playing. I myself am more interested in a partner who is really into aggressive play. A woman who is extremely beautiful but is not really into what’s happening doesn’t give me a “woody” Be positive about yourself. From what I saw of your photos you are a beautiful hot woman. Act sexy and you will be sexy. You’ll get more men interested in you than you think. This is all just my opinion of course.

I contacted SLS to clarify the policy “you can upload pictures of yourself (or your partner for a couple.) Pictures must contain at least one of the profile owners in them.” So nothing that clearly states you can’t put someone else in a picture with you that isn’t a part of your profile. I let’s SLS know I felt this was somewhat irresponsible and if I found someone had put my face in a picture with them (my pics don’t show full face like I am seeing) on a swinger site I would be contacting a lawyer. I know sometimes couples change to singles and may forget to edit their profile. I wonder when pictures are reviewed is there any reference to the type of account? Even with private pictures it doesn’t seem like a good idea, especially saying all the changes were for legal matters. I informed both SLS and the single male that contacted me and had another woman’s face that I thought this was a lack of discretion. Her picture is still there. Let’s me know who to avoid. SLS can do better but chooses not too. $$$

How about now?

You don't have enough of any of the three and moving forward is just going to be a Fix the relationship first (if it can be fixed since it sounds like she already has her mind made up) and THEN think about extra curricular activities. Otherwise, start taking actions to prepare for the worst. Her actions and words are saying anything close to her loving you, trusting you, respecting you. We're sorry, but we still wish you the best outcome possible.

We could not agree more Gold, a vagina IS a really marvelous thing!!!!

OK ... we did and here it is! ? We went to the club -- our first EVER experience in the LS -- this past weekend. It's in what was certainly warehouse space behind a chain furniture store on one of the major roads (Bragg Blvd) in Fayetteville. The street in front is reasonably well lit and there's ample parking in a shopping center lot across the street. (The same person/group owns the warehouse and the shopping center, so it's OK to park there.) The club offers a round-trip shuttle bus from/to about a dozen hotels in the area, which indicates to us that they must get a lot of out-of-towners. Once you step inside, it's easy to forget that it's a converted warehouse. We thought the facilities were nice. There's a good-sized dance floor with a stripper pole; PLENTY of seating for eating/meeting/talking; a small room in the corner of the main area that offers a little more privacy due to the fact that you have to enter through "love beads" hanging from the ceiling; an interesting dungeon where the curtains can be closed OR left open; coolers where you can keep your beer or white wine cold; a bar where the bartender will hold your non-cold drinks for you so you don't have to keep up with them all night; lockers for which they provide the lock and key; and some beds -- also with curtains -- that face the main floor for those couples who might want to get "frisky" around a larger crowd. There was an ample supply of pretty good food and a soft drink dispenser. At midnight, they changed out the corn dogs, chicken & pasta, and meatballs for bacon, scrambled eggs, biscuits, and gravy. There's a DJ booth and he played an interesting mix of music all through the night. Maybe the most interesting thing was the shadowbox ... a room where whoever's in there can be seen from the dance floor only in silhouette/shadow. All kinds of activity went on in there, some involving both sexes and other involving only women. You can see plenty of pics on their Web site (YKW| NC Swinger Clubs | Fayetteville) In the back of the place are the various playrooms. They all have a theme (e.g. Las Vegas, 80s) and some of them have not only a bed but another play area such as a swing, sofa, or love chair so two couples can share the room without having to share the bed. There are also two Sybian rooms; a sex machine room; two rooms with a plexiglass wall between them for watching what goes on; a theater with mattresses where they show XXX movies all night; and gloryhole rooms for both men AND women. (Don't wanna leave the ladies out!) In the middle of all this is a dance platform with another stripper pole, couches to watch whoever's dancing, and another DJ booth. The pole got plenty of action during the night, and it wasn't just from the females! ? Again, you can see pics of all this on the Web site. As for the staff, they were as friendly and courteous as could be. All first-time visitors were given a tour and a glow bracelet and we guess it worked, because most of the times that a staffer passed us, they made sure to ask how we were getting along and if there was anything they could do for us. The owners also made it a point to stop by our table to introduce themselves and welcome us to the club. We were surprised by just how low a percentage of the people who were there actually had sex. There was some dirty dancing, hot kissing, and groping in the public areas, and after about 11:00, the playrooms were occupied constantly without much turnover. We DID see some sexual activity out in the open, but it seemed to us that the majority of the people there came just to party in an uninhibited atmosphere and then take it home. The only negative thing we'd say is that the club should maybe turn down the lights in the back play area to help create a sexier atmosphere. Having said that, we realize they might not be able to do so due to safety issues and/or fire department regulations concerning evacuating the building. Overall, we found the club to be a great place to visit and we can certainly recommend it to anyone in central NC who's looking for their first exposure to the LS. PS We've posted another thread more about our personal experience in the First Swinging Experiences forum.

yes i know that:). i mean gel like durex

We chose C. We saw the couple a lot, all of us were friendly, but neither couple asked to play. So it worked out. The cruise was a lot of fun. We had a few encounters and a couple of cancellations due to the other couples’ illness, which we welcomed to get a rest. We can’t do it every day for a week! We are over 60. But if you are the type and age such that you want daily or more sex, the Bliss cruise is your ticket!

I've stayed out of this conversation because I didn't think I had much to offer but this reply was over the top. @Cade# Lubrication is only a small part of the equation when it comes a woman's anatomy accommodating(especially) a larger than normal guy. Some anatomical things happen for a woman starting with blood flow which starts from the brain just like us guys. We have to want it first. A guy has it easy, he has to have blood flow to get an erection and then it's game on. For a woman that blood flow makes it possible for her to self lubricate, changes her vagina, clitoris and cervix all making entrance of a penis more comfortable and that's just a portion of what needs to happen physiologically speaking. Add to that the fact that this guys cock is intimidating she just isn't going to get there. Suggesting she just lubes up and takes it shows a complete ignorance of female anatomy and arousal. @ the OP, My guess is that it really is more of a mental thing for her. She's tried and it was uncomfortable. I doubt it was completely physiological because as someone said babies come out of there so it was probably more mental. Most likely the chemistry just wasn't there for whatever reason which kept her from reaching a level of arousal needed to accommodate him. That's probably not going to get any better with him. Good for you for trying to figure out a way to let them down rather than asking what to do to help your wife be able to perform! It shows you're on the same team. Regarding doctors, I will offer this up. My wife has had a total hysterectomy so for a few years she was on oral estrogen. It worked fine, she had a healthy libido and she lubricated quite nicely but about the middle of last summer (2017) we started noticing a difference. Her arousal wasn't quite what it had been and neither was her lubrication. Her doctor just wanted to up the dose which didn't sound like the best option. She tried pellets which added testosterone. That helped but in the mean time she managed to get an appointment with a Endo at a highly respected mid-west clinic. They freaked out at the amount of Testosterone she was on. They took her off everything to get her base levels which took about 4 months to get the hormones out of her system. They then started her on a patch which is about the size of a small fingernail which she changes twice a week. It's very discreet. She is back to her old horny self and no worries about the long term side effects of oral estrogen. Because oral estrogen has to be metabolized through the liver there are some bad things that can happen if taken over more than about 5 years. If your wife's doc has her on oral estrogen and maybe supplementing that with Progestin for some cancer preventative she's probably been on it too long. Seek out an endocrinologist who specialized in post menopausal women. It's worth the little bit of extra money to get someone who does it day in and day out. So, how did the cruise go?

Get wet. Lubricant can go a long way to easing intercourse with a bigger guy. In fact, it's a must. There's a wide variety of lubes out there, from thin and slippery to thicker and more viscous. To prevent breakage, remember to use a lube that's compatible with the type of condom he using. So start experimenting!

Babies come out of there. Just let him know of your concern (he'll be flattered), go easy, and all will be fine.

Don't get discouraged. Our first date was simply a meet and greet, dinner, drinks. We danced a little and my wife invited the other guy to step outside. I was impressed with her confidence. They stayed outside for a while and came back in. She told me she kissed him and he felt her up a little. She encouraged me to do the same which I did. As the evening wore on it became apparent that the couple was not representing themselves as they had in emails. We told them as newbies we were soft swap, same room only. They said that was fine but as the evening went on they started telling us how they preferred same room and the wife even wanted to be able to text me. We said our goodbyes around midnight and on the drive home my wife had a breakdown. Come to find out she was muscling through the evening but really had gotten turned off about an hour before. It took us a while, several months actually to work through that. We realized we aren't looking for friends just good one off experiences and prefer some mystery and anonymity so we've had better luck at clubs. I say all that to say this. Take a little time to work through it. These are the situations where swingers learn how important communication is. It's especially important for you to be able to acknowledge that there is nothing wrong with her shutting down for her own reasons, whatever they may, be and be completely supportive of that(it sounds like you were so you're already a step ahead of the curve). She needs some time to digest this first experience and figure out what she wants and for you both to figure out what you want together out of the lifestyle. Once you've done that you can move on to your next experience better for the knowledge and experience you have.

I am travelling for work and miss my poly family, including the sex. So I catch up on the Swingersboard and masturbate. Once this morning to wake up before the crappy hotel treadmill, after I got back to my hotel room (thank God no group dinner tonight), and probably a last one to put me to sleep. My fingers can hit the right spot and I cum really hard, but not like the feeling of a real person.

difficult to set up if you are the organizer, easier if it just happens, say a t a club or house party. My limited experience, 4-5 men, who usually have a minute or two inside me, then switch. This also goes along with the occasional oral participant makes it more interesting by sloppy. In the end only the last two guys came inside me....along with one orally....i prefer two men at most at a time