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I think for us there is a progression leading up to intercourse in a full swap scenario. It starts with an introduction, moves into flirting, then perhaps some touching, a kiss, more touching, kissing, flirting, etc. Things progress and oral sex is a big part of that. In fact it's kind of the last thing that leads up to the main event. Each step gets you ready for the next step. It's also a way of learning a new partner, how they respond to you, what they like, how they communicate it with you. If I kiss a woman and she responds in a way that tells me she likes to be handled roughly or gently then each step of the progression is going to find me exploring how far she wants that to go. Each step communicates desires, builds excitement and anticipation of what is coming with the next step. I can't imagine skipping any or all of those steps and the PIV intercourse being exactly the same as it would had I not skipped any. OP, Could you walk into a room with a woman spread eagle, put your penis in her vagina until you had an orgasm and then leave? Or do you like getting to know the woman, go through a progression of stages to build the excitement and sexual anticipation? If you can understand the point of those questions then you should be able to understand why some of us want to experience all the aspects that we enjoy leading up to PIV intercourse. The goal is not necessarily to have sex, it's the whole experience. Sex and orgasm is just kind of the natural finale'. As far as using protection I think most of us agree it's not pleasurable enough, sensations are dulled etc to the point that if that's required we feel like "why bother?". So if we can't go through those progressions then we'd rather not even start.

It's interesting that appearance is such a turn on for you. I've been told by several women that I have a pretty penis. I'm average so it wasn't a size thing. I've never asked what makes it pretty or prettier than other penises though it always seemed like a bit of a strange statement to me. I do find some women's genitalia to be more attractive than others so I guess a woman might feel the same about a guy's equipment. Generally though, men are much more visually stimulated by such things than women.

So.... I usually am with crowd that says you shouldn't fret over sizes, etc. Most men worry about their wife having a man with a larger cock and then somehow them not measuring up to that afterwards. I'm not worried about that. My wife has had a previous boyfriend before we were married that was huge. My question is this -- if we play with a couple that we are acquainted with... he's VERY big. I'm 1000% average US male. Maybe a little on the low side of average but still in there. Anyway.... I'm a little intimidated that his wife is going to be completely underwhelmed after having a guy regularly that is huge at home and then experiencing a dude that is completely average. I know I know.... I don't normally worry about this stuff, but in this case there is a huge difference, and she's used to the monster. :p Ladies? Thoughts?

SW_PA_Couple, With all due respect, I have to disagree. To us, there's nothing wrong with another lover giving my lover a memorable time. Sometimes--maybe even many times--sex with a first-time partner can be so-so. After all, the couple doesn't know each other, and they don't know what makes the other person have a mind-blowing experience. With one memorable lover, it took us two times in bed (plus one sexy play in a shower before the second time, which included lots of foreplay and intercourse, though not to orgasm) before we had terrific sex. So, first-time sex between two people can be great, but not always. If my partner had terrific sex with a new lover--and newness can easily add to the equation--I'd be happy. Did she orgasm more often than normal or stronger or louder than she usually does? If so, great (I'd hope for that to happen in a moresome). And I'd like to know the details of what the new partner(s) did to drive her to that ecstasy (unless it was just the novelty of a new lover who didn't use any new techniques). Newness can be a great turn-on, but that doesn't necessarily mean the new partner was better, requiring a "sex is better with you" response, even of the moresome encounter rocked her world. Sex with a new partner could be OK, it could be good, or it could be terrific. After a moresome, my partner would come home with me. That's the most important thing, as I'm sure you know. :-) During the moresome play, I'd love hearing her moan and orgasm with another or others, even if she made sounds not usually made in bed with me. I really dislike lying (even white lies). If my partner just had great-great sex, I'd want to know about it as much as possible (I might be an older dog, but I can still learn some new tricks ). That wouldn't change her love for me, which is the most important thing. SW_PA_Couple, if If misunderstood your comment, I apologize. Best wishes, Geo :-)

I wanted to clarify my point a bit. Does your wife not want you doing oral on other women because perhaps you don’t do it much for her and she is aware of your lack of enthusiasm? I can understand then her frustration and while trying to be respectful of your limitations may I suggest you spend more time on her with that and have some fun. But I am not a fan of “only for us” as don’t you want the other party to give it their all also? It is also how it is presented, maybe oral is not your thing but do you give a great massage? I remember once discussing my limit of no anal and the man’s reaction of “too bad you don’t do anal” left me feeling not bad at all that I had passed on him.

I don't even know who you are. Golf IS a religion and I grew up with it.

It is a medical fact that the foreskin is the most sensitive part of the penis. Yes it needs to be kept clean or it can become...unsavory. As the female from Chiccouple says, the rolling action of the foreskin during intercourse can be very pleasing for the girl involved. Furthermore, the glans is intended to be covered. The skin in the glans is supposed to be very thin and moist. When uncovered by circumcision, it becomes thick and keratinized, leading to a loss of sensation and delayed orgasm for the man. There are many foreskin restoration websites that promote growth of the penile skin by using a gizmo that stretches the skin, much the same a the way fat people end up with excess skin after they lose weight.

Cut, please. I just dont find uncut cocks attractive at all. Sorry *♀️

Honestly, I'm more about the overall appearance than size

As many of the responses suggest, the issue is not politics (or religion, or sports team allegiance, or...). The issue is (in)tolerance. The toxic blend of the 24 hour news cycle and infinite numbers of electronic soapboxes has numbed our abilities to listen, compromised our abilities to think critically, dulled our willingness to edit. Rational discourse has given way to polarizing rhetoric: "you are 'for' something I am 'against'". Our vanilla and LS lives are thus diminished.

I like your food analogy. I like Italian, Steak, Thai, Chinese, Greek (yeah I know), Southern and I’m willing to try new things. I am not giving up the corned beef sandwich just because I had pizza. And now I learned I enjoy Clams, lol, but not giving up hot dogs.

Baconheads, why?

machiavel55, I understand how you are missing the analogy of sex and cooking. Sex is not cooking. What the original author was trying to suggest, I believe, is that sex is not romance. So, let’s take a different approach. Picture a woman, in her early forties, somewhat recently divorced. She has physical needs. So one evening she heads for a bar, picks up a guy, they have mind-blowing sex. The next day she has a wonderful memory, but she probably knows the guy is not going to wind up being her next husband. If she’s realistic, she won’t be too disappointed when he doesn’t call her for another date. Their brief relationship was simply all about sex. *Some* people who are married have similar feelings. Sex is a lot of fun, and different people are able to perform in different ways. Now, the cooking analogy becomes more apt - would you rather have a great Italian meal or a really good steak? It depends on your mood, doesn’t it? Just because you had a wonderful meal of Osso Bucco, it doesn’t mean you’ll never want a T-Bone, does it? Sex isn’t romance. Sex is *just* sex.

I've probably read a couple dozen 'how to suck a dick' and 'how to eat a pussy' articles. How to suck a dick has about 5 steps to follow in order to make a great blowjob. Every article on 'how to eat pussy', should be titled 'how to eat MY pussy'. Every pussy I've dived into was completely different than every other one. Each one has to be treated like there is a direct connection from the clit to the brain, because there is. Every reaction to every sensation has to be interpreted and acted upon. It's like putting a puzzle together, 'oops that doesn't fit', 'yep that one did'. And eventually you know how to eat THIS pussy. Think about the crazy redhead, half drunk on the bed, holding one leg to the air and telling you to get in here and eat this like you are starving. Compare that to religious lady who won't quite spread her legs but will allow access to the top of her slit, kinda. Different techniques needed. Guys, well the dick just kinda sticks out there.

We will be cruising May 18 next year!

At some point most women have had a baby and that is WAY bigger than the largest penis...and yet the vagina (which is really a marvelous thing), is able to recover and enjoy something as 'small' as a penis again. Also, there are things that you can do that doen't even require a penis for the woman to enjoy. Don't worry about this, it isn't going to be an issue.

Why put it all on the guy? A woman needs to keep her pussy in shape so she can squeeze whatever size cock that she is getting, both for her pleasure and his. A woman shouldn't rely on being "stretched by a larger cock does enhance [her] pleasure." Why shouldn't a guy expect to be "squeezed by a tighter cunt to enhance his pleasure?" One of the many reasons that I and other guys like fucking my wife is that she doesn't put all of the pleasing responsibilities on the guy. She works hard at sex, and doesn't just lay back and expect the guy to make her happy. She's had some big dicks, but has enjoyed the smaller ones as well, because she works at it.

A couple of comments above are right on point. We always have a debriefing session, usually on our way home from a club or party or while cleaning up at home after having guests. We know each others moves and responses so we're interested in what our new partners did differently, better or worse than we do. Then we try to add the good stuff to our repertoire. Swinging has made us way better lovers than we were when we started.

If she is an active swinger, she is probably with men who are less endowed than her husband quite frequently. She still enjoys being with average-sized men. Being stretched by a larger cock does enhance my pleasure. All things being equal, I do prefer larger cocks. However, I think that most women can still feel and be pleasured by average dicks. I am quite able to be satisfied by a man who is skilled in using his average-sized dick, and other body parts, to pleasure me.

We are on the Horizon Jan 6

Sex is just sex, no matter how mind blowing, earth shattering it may be. I'm with the one I'm with because of the total package. It's like going to a great restaurant and deciding that I'm leaving my SO for the cook just because they are better at cooking...