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Simple rule of thumb: play ONLY to the level of the least comfortable partner.

Well, starting out on NYE is definitely going to be an interesting time. Most places are very crowded, and it can get a little weird. Not typical at all, as NYE in a vanilla place is not typical either. You may have a lot of fun, you may just get a very strange vibe. But good luck. As far as you, the male, playing while she does not, it's not impossible, particularly if there's an orgy in progress. But there are many people who fell that you're not gonna play with the wife if he can't play with yours. Just be upfront about that, and don't be disappointed if they say no, thanks.

Same here... it is the visual stimulation that I enjoy most. Seeing her being pleased. Very very erotic and hot. I enjoy the seconds when his cock enters her and when he orgasms.

I'd make Mrs Doc bi…it'd increase MY chances exponentially!!!!

I'd have to say the judgment, both by swingers and especially non-swingers. Why everyone can't just let people be who they are accept them for that without wanting to pass judgment on them, I don't understand. In terms of us swingers particularly, that doesn't mean you have to want to play with everyone out there, but just because they don't swing the exact same way you do doesn't make them any more or less of swinger or a person.

There are plenty of marriages that are loving and happy and do not involve sex. I get that this is not something you want, but let's just put that out there. Also, as soon as she said she didn't want sex, you just immediately stopped loving her? How deep/strong was that love to begin with if you can switch it off because of one aspect of a marriage? That is scary, to me, as a woman who has pain with sex. I have that fear that my husband would do the same thing you did. As for the other person's comment about monogamy also meaning you fulfill all your partner's sexual desires, unless that was agreed to at the start, you can't go unilaterally amending the agreed upon contract/vows now and not expect repercussions. What if those sexual desires involved something the other person wasn't morally comfortable with, are you still obligated to help them fulfill them? I don't buy into that. If you aren't going to leave her because you see it as quitting (which, in a sense, it is), and she is not willing/able to budge on sex-- seems you are at a stalemate. Also, if you don't trust women..... might make it hard to find anyone else to have a healthy relationship with anyways (not said in a judging way as I have trust issues with everyone ). Also, you could reframe that "not a quitter" into not quitting on your love or relationship. Otherwise, it seems you just want to feel like a martyr. You mentioned that she was willing to do other aspects of sex, but that isn't enough for you and you don't like feeling like it is charity sex. Well, to me, that is a compromise on her part. She doesn't want the penetration (which, you guys have no idea how painful it can be when there are issues....but to me fair to you, she should talk to her doctor about it), but seemed willing to do other aspects. We get so hung up on penetration and orgasms, that we forget about all the other sexual things that can be done. Unless she says it is charity, perhaps you are reading into it or projecting. The fact that she was willing to do those things for you, to me, shows she is trying. So, to answer your question: For various reasons throughout the years, I have at times not been able to have penetrative sex (or as much as my husband wanted). I fully expected him to stay monogamous (we weren't swinging during those periods) and to weather the storm with me. I was able and willing to provide him with oral and manual (though still not as much as he wanted because those hurt too). He watched a lot of porn and masturbated frequently (though, he watches porn like an addict, so that may not have had anything to do with me). I have thought about what I would do if I ever get to the point where I just can't do anything for a sexual release for the two of us. I might be willing to allow him to find someone else to have sex with in that case, but only if we weren't having sex or doing anything sexual at all anymore. I don't want to catch anything. I can't answer that question until it happens-- no one can. We can only say what we think/hope we would do. Anyone on here who says they would "for sure" do something is full of it. We don't know until we get there. There are a lot of emotions that go into saying you can't do something and allowing your partner to go elsewhere.

I like both! I'd say I have a very slight preference for uncut because I know they have even higher capacity for enjoying themselves.

I dated a young woman in college who, when we got to intercourse, started verbalizing rape fantasies ("hurt me, violate me!"). It scared me and put me off. In retrospect, if we had discussed it in advance I could have easily gone along with it as fantasy play. But even in those earlier days before "MeToo", I worried about where this might be going.

A few years ago my sister Jill and I compared notes and realized that there was on boy from high school that we both slept with. We had no idea at the time!

During one of our recent weekend group play sessions Clair joined us while Becky watched the kids. She came in, undressed to just her panties, lied down on the couch, took off her panties with her legs spread, then surprised and entertained us by giving birth to a bath tub rubber ducky. The rest of the evening saw many of the kids toys repurposed.

In my experience, when I am with my wife immediately after she's been with a guy, I can notice a slight difference. By the next day, that difference is gone. The vagina is a remarkably elastic organ.

Just that we are in a place where we are doing this...I'm perfectly fine with that! If I COULD change something, it would not just be for swinging, although it would help with swinging (and it's already been mentioned). It's honesty...if only EVERYONE could feel comfortable with talking honestly to their SO, friends, and family the entire world would be a better place. If women and men could talk honestly, there would probably be more swingers in the world since they wouldn't have to keep wanting to keep this a secret from each other.